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Sunday 28 August 2011

Shark Night 3D

This looks like to be, quite possibly, the dumbest movie of the year.

So, a bunch of attractive young people go to their friend's lake house to take off their clothes and have some fun.   From the trailer (and I may be wrong),  the friend who owns the lake house doesn't know there's a shark in his lake... or does he?  Bum, bum, bum!

Apparently, in Nicaragua there are lake shark - fresh water shark, but they are rare. 

The trailer tells us that this film is from the makers of Hostel and Texas Chainsaw Massacre And the trailer actually shows us that the shark is a sort of pet that some sicko uses to kill people with.  Imagine, the makers of Hostel and Texas Chainsaw Massacre make another movie about a sicko torturing people? 

I saw the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre at some seedy rep. cinema when I was a teenager, years after it was released... it scared the shit out of me and for years any person that even remotely looked like a product of cousins marrying cousins sent me running for dear life.

Didn't Lake Placid have the same theme with an Aligator or crocodile - whichever one grows to be the size of the great white shark from Jaws.... The killer/keeper of the gator in Lake Placid was Betty White and her motive was to scare away tourists or something... no wait... that was a Carl Hiaasen novel... 

All this stupidy is only increasing my own...

The only thing the trailer doesn't tell us is how the shark and its evil master(s) die.  Maybe the evil master is forced to eat the shark in a bizarre twist of torture...  You know, like shark fin soup?

I haven't been this annoyed by a trailer since The Help.  The difference is that The Help is probably a decent movie.... this one looks like crap.

This film will disappear faster than Yahoo Serious.

Save your money and rent Jaws and some soft porn.

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