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Thursday 5 September 2013


Please Note: This will be the first of likely two reviews for the Oldboy trailer.  This review will allow me to vent.  Hopefully the second, just prior to the film's release, will be more objective.

Oh.... my....GOD.

It has finally happened.  Arguably, one of the most brilliant and disturbing films of the 21st Century - a Korean masterpiece by Chan Wook Park, is on the verge (Oct. 2013) of release by remake.... Directed by....

Spike Lee?

I like Spike Lee, but Spike, for f**ksakes, why would you even attempt to feed this subject matter to a North American audience, let alone to the masses?  WE ARE NOT READY FOR THIS - WE MAY NEVER BE READY FOR THIS!!!

Spike, you know how beautifully shot the original is. You know how technically flawless the original is. Clearly, you appreciated the brilliance in the vision that Chan Wook Park had for the execution of this film. Spike, you know how incredibly disturbing the story is. Yes, Spike, we appreciate your brilliance, too.

I've always said that it's better to remake a bad movie than it is to remake a good movie badly.  Oldboy is not a bad movie.  So, Spike, do you think you can do it justice? Well? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya?

I watched the trailer.  Twice.  It's good.  But is it good if you don't know the original? I was looking too closely for the similarities and how they were handled to actually notice.  Let me watch it a third time with this in mind...

Hmmm maybe.

Josh Brolin is very good as Oh Dae-su... the lead. The prisoner.  The man imprisoned for 20 years in an unknown location without knowing why.  Then, he is released and, of course, must find out why, by whom, save his daughter and of course, exact his revenge.  But the real question to be asked is, who is really exacting the revenge?

This trailer (on IMDB) shows him in captivity and then shows him exacting revenge all over the place.  It even shows him meeting his captor and yes there were many similarities to the original....

I just found the original 2003 trailer on youtube and watched it.  In all fairness, it's on par with the Spike Lee trailer. But, the original trailer was made almost 10 years ago.

I was worried that there would be clues to the twisted levels of revenge in the Spike Lee trailer for Oldboy and during the third viewing watched closely for the spoilers.  Fortunately, there was nothing blatant, though I had heard that there is one trailer out there that does actually spoil it.  I hope it isn't true. Spoilers in the trailer would completely take away the "holy shit" and "oh no" moments in this film.

Oh Spike. I want to love this movie but I also want to hate this movie. My curiosity will likely draw me to it the day it opens.  So, I ask again...

Do you think you can do it justice, Spike? Well? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya?

We shall see.

Thursday 22 August 2013

VIEWED: The Wolverine

My trailer review for The Wolverine said...

"The coolest part of the trailer is when Wolverine squares off against what looks to be a robot.  It made me think of Real Steel, which I begrudgingly liked.  It also made me think of monsters vs. robots as in Pacific Rim... sigh.

I enjoyed the trailer very much and even if I didn't, nothing could stop me... not even the wife... from seeing The Wolverine."

The wife let me choose a movie, other than Pacific Rim, last night.  I chose The Wolverine.

The coolest part of the trailer, when Wolverine squares off against the robot Samurai was okay, but better in the trailer than in the film.  This movie just didn't feel like, or do any justice to the excellence that is the X-Men franchise.   On the contrary, it cheapened it to the point where I'm not sure I'll see another Wolverine movie.  That sucks because Wolverine is my favourite character in X-Men AND as I mentioned in the trailer review, represents the inner struggle of every man.  He's a true anti-hero and it works beautifully.

While the spirit of The Wolverine is sort of captured in the film.  The spirit of X-Men is completely lost. We leave the world where humans and mutants struggle to co-exist and enter the world of Japanese corporate power, government corruption and the Yakuza (Japanese mob).  And somehow they are, at one moment working together and at another killing each other.  Don't get me wrong, the story wasn't confusing at all, just kind of... well... dumb.  Dumb, other than The Wolverine coming to terms with who his is... for now... until the next film.

That said, Jackman was good - he really is Wolverine.  The supporting cast was solid, though the villain mutant, Viper, seemed void of any substance, she was almost hollow... maybe that's the point of a reptile?

The Wolverine, for me, was a huge disappointment.

I asked the wife what she thought of The Wolverine.  She said, "next time I'm choosing the movie."

I said, "next time I'm seeing Pacific Rim alone."

We drove home in silence.

Thursday 15 August 2013

The Wolverine

I really like X-Men. I really like the film franchise, too.

Is this the sequel to X-Men Origins: Wolverine? I like that the title, The Wolverine, confuses me.  It's not called X-Men Origins: Wolverine 2, or too, or also...  The message I read is that this familiar title may or may not be a sequel or stand-alone. Confusing.

X-Men: First Class, which I really liked, should have been called X-Men Origins: X-Men. Why isn't there an X-Men Origins: Storm, or X-Men Origins: Jean Grey, or X-Men Origins: Cyclops?

I'll tell you why, because the other characters, with the exception of Professor Xavier and Magneto, are two dimensional where Wolverine is multi-dimensional.  Wolverine is my favourite.  Wolverine's story is the coolest. There is something classic about the anti-hero.  His struggles mirror our struggles, but on a larger scale of course.  His inner battle is our inner battle - good, evil, right, wrong - struggling with ourselves, our identities and our purpose.  If you have a conscience and a soul you understand the importance of Wolverine.

The trailer is pretty good. It's one of those rare trailers that didn't seem too long even though it is well over 2 minutes.  It has a Dark Knight Rises, Man of Steel, Iron Man 3 spirit to it.  You know, just when the hero is down, he's up again, stronger than ever.  The old, you have to hit rock bottom before you can rise to become more than what you are... "forwards not backwards, upwards not forwards and forever twirling, twirling...."

The coolest part of the trailer is when Wolverine squares off against what looks to be a robot.  It made me think of Real Steel, which I begrudgingly liked.  It also made me think of monsters vs. robots as in Pacific Rim... sigh.

I enjoyed the trailer very much and even if I didn't, nothing could stop me... not even the wife... from seeing The Wolverine.

Monday 12 August 2013

We're the Millers

The wife wants to see this film.  I still haven't seen Pacific Rim.

I continue to express how annoying it is to watch a trailer that is over a minute too long.  This trailer should have ended at the 1:36 mark and I may have been mildly interested in seeing the outcome.

I can't express enough how much I'm beginning to despise the glorification of criminal behaviour on film, especially when it's presented as comedy.  Oh, how fun... let's lie, cheat and do something dangerous and illegal and have a good laugh about it and not get killed and not go to prison and maybe learn a lesson and find love and...

Seriously?  This is what Hollywood is producing?  


My friend saw We're the Millers on the weekend and said it was funny, but really stupid.

I must be getting old and was recently told that I've lost touch with my sophomoric side.  Maybe so, but when I watch a trailer that tells me pretty much everything about the film I feel like I've been given the appetizer as the main course, so why should I bother paying for the main course?

Sadly, I know I will be forced to watch this nonsense because I am a good husband and will take it for the team.  Besides, if I concede to seeing this idiotic looking film, I think I might be able to get a free pass to see Pacific Rim.

'Nuff said.

Wednesday 7 August 2013

VIEWED: 2 Guns

My trailer review for 2 Guns - in case your "scroll down" doesn't work - said...

"But seriously, even the short trailer tells it all.  It looks like they are double crossed by their respective organizations and now must team up in order to survive.  The only thing that is left to be answered is whether they get the money to the CIA but, if the sequence is correct in the trailer, it kind of looks like Denzel blows it up...  I'm not sure where this movie will go beyond what the short trailer told me/spoiled for me.  I expressed this to the wife and she said, 'we are not seeing Pacific Rim.'

If I had a choice I wouldn't see 2 Guns."

In all fairness, there was a bit more to it than what the short trailer showed, but really not much more.  It was mildly entertaining.  It had a good combination of humour and action and the supporting cast, especially Bill Paxton, were solid.

However, all the best stunts were in the short trailer - actually the gist of the movie, including outcome, was in the short trailer. If I had seen the 3 minute trailer, I likely wouldn't have had to see the film...

The only other thing I can remember from seeing it... um....yesterday is: it seemed much longer than the 1hr, 49 min. run time. I actually looked at my watch twice.

As we were leaving the cinema, I asked the wife what she thought of 2 Guns.

She said, "it was better than I expected."

I responded with, "better than you expected!? You mean you took me to a movie that you had low expectations for instead of Pacific Rim? Seriously? Unfreakingbelievable!"

She raised an eyebrow.

I haven't quite learned that the secret to a successful marriage is: shut the f**k up.

Tuesday 6 August 2013

2 Guns

The wife wants to see this one so once again I will not see Pacific Rim... Nevermind Pacific Rim, I still haven't seen Man of Steel or The Lone Ranger, and I haven't even reviewed the trailers for World War Z or The Wolverine 2 or The Wolverine Also or Also The Wolverine...

You know, I should just be thankful that she loves me and shut up.  I asked her uncle, who has been married for more than 30 years what the secret of a successful marriage is.  He said, "Mike, the secret to a successful marriage is: shut the f**k up.  That's the secret..."

There were two trailers for 2 Guns.  One was about a minute and a half and the other was over 3 minutes.  I ONLY watched the short one and that is the one I'm reviewing here.

So, here's the deal: undercover DEA agent, Denzel and undercover Navy Intelligence agent, Wahlberg, rob a bank that happened to hold money - $42.15 million to be exact - that belonged to the CIA and now everyone wants them dead, except the CIA who just want their money back.

The story seems really far fetched, even if you're a conspiracy theorist.

The chemistry between the seemingly mismatched stars, Denzel and Wahlberg actually looked pretty good. Wahlberg's characters work when he maintains a sort of naive innocence, like in this trailer.  Denzil always plays it smart and cool and it works for him.

The trailer was filled with smart ass remarks and stunts but for some reason I felt that all the best stunts were saved for the minute-and-a-half trailer.  I can't imagine what more the 3 minute trailer could tell me and show me that wouldn't completely spoil this one.

But seriously, even the short trailer tells it all.  It looks like they are double crossed by their respective organizations and now must team up in order to survive.  The only thing that is left to be answered is whether they get the money to the CIA but, if the sequence is correct in the trailer, it kind of looks like Denzel blows it up.

I'm not sure where this movie will go beyond what the short trailer told me/spoiled for me.  I expressed this to the wife and she said, "we are not seeing Pacific Rim."

If I had a choice I wouldn't see 2 Guns.

Friday 2 August 2013

VIEWED: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

My trailer review for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey said...

"So, will the box set be available with six special edition discs? What will make it special is that they will be packaged in the order in which J.R.R. Tolkien wrote them and they will be placed in a commemorative box where the discs will only fit in the proper order because each disc will have special packaging. Rest assured that the commemorative box will be made of a much stronger paper than regular post-it note paper. If you had already purchased the LOTR trilogy, you will be disappointed to know that in order to get the commemorative box, you need to purchase the entire 6 disc box set and even if you managed to get the box, your discs wouldn't fit because of the new special packaging.  But if you act now you'll get a seventh limited edition making of, director's cut, deleted scenes and craft services shenanigans and it will come in an even more special commemorative box with a special place for disc 7.  Please note that you'll have to pre-order now and it will be available in early 2014.

What does this have to do with The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey movie trailer?  Well, nothing."

My teenage nephew and I watched it a few nights ago.  He had seen it before and loved it.  I couldn't seem to get into it.

Martin Freeman seemed to play Bilbo the same way he played Arthur Dent in that terrible film version of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and not unlike the character Tim he played in The Office. Very disappointing for me because I really like Martin Freeman.  In fairness, he did have some strong moments, but they were only moments in a very long film.  Sorry Martin.

Every time the Dwarfs gathered I kept anticipating, "Hi ho, hi ho...."  You know, from Snow White.

Like most, I watched it knowing the Lord of The Rings Trilogy and seeing all the signs that brought our lovable characters to the LOTR quest.  And though I was excited to watch the film, as the story unfolded, it just didn't do anything for me.

You know which characters survive to appear in LOTR.  You know what happens - it's just the journey that makes it entertaining or not on film.  This journey seemed like a film for the purists and fans because they will probably like it regardless of how good it really is.

I've heard someone much wiser than me say that the meaning of life IS the journey.  May be...

While it had all the elements of the epic story, it seemed to me to lack the wonder and awe of the LOTR movies.  And to think there will be two more of these films...

I can't really say that this is "unexpected."

Wednesday 31 July 2013

VIEWED: The Great Gatsby

My trailer review of The Great Gatsby said:

"My mother was visiting from Toronto a few weeks ago and told me she was bored.  I told her to go see a movie.  She went to see The Great Gatsby.  When she returned I asked her what she thought of it.  She told me that she was still bored."

The wife and I argued over which film to see.  Again, I wanted to see Pacific Rim and this time she wanted to see The Great Gatsby.  She won again. I will see Pacific Rim one day - likely alone.

I can understand why my mom thought it was boring.  It's difficult to take a novel like The Great Gatsby, with all the depth in the shallowness and carelessness of the characters and make it exciting on film.

The Robert Redford depiction of Gatsby in the 1974 version shows a Gatsby that is in complete control of his emotions as if every word and action are calculated.  This is juxtaposed with a child-like sensitivity that we catch glimpses of.  Once Daisy enters the room, though, he becomes the love struck young man whose hope for a future with Daisy never waivers.

Leonardo DiCaprio's Gatsby was too emotional.  We catch brief glimpses of the cool Gatsby at his parties but for most of the film he is like a little boy fixated on acquiring a toy and nothing can dissuade him from doing so.  It made it difficult to believe that in a five year period he went from being a penniless soldier to a gangster millionaire.

It's clear, however, that both capture the essence of clinging to an unrealistic and unrealized dream.

Don't get me wrong. I like DiCaprio.  I think he's a tremendous talent and he looked the Gatsby part. I just don't think he captured the essence of Gatsby.

While Joel Edgerton was a standout as Tom Buchanan, Carey Mulligan and Elizabeth Debicki, Daisy and Jordan Baker respectively, both missed the mark. The characters are supposed to be shallow and empty, while every action shows carelessness and selfishness - Daisy, even in love, can't fully commit to anyone but herself.  But while trying to play shallow, Daisy and Jordan were simply, empty.

So, while I didn't mind seeing another attempt at making one of my all time favourite novels, it was disappointing that the film could not capture the tragedy of this story.  A tragedy that, on film, is only spoken and not felt.

Monday 29 July 2013

VIEWED: Trance

My trailer review for Trance said,

"The acting and dialogue were believable and the whole package sucked me in... The trailer should have ended here and I would have been interested in seeing this film... Then they throw in a love triangle, explosions and the blatantly obvious double cross.  The trailer pretty much tells you that, after the dust settles, Dawson and McAvoy end up running off with the treasure, or were in cahoots and then they outsmart Cassel....

I know I could be wrong, I often am.  But, if I can take all this from a 2+ minute trailer, then I don't need to see this film, I don't need to waste the cost of admission or 2 hours of my life or even talk about Trance again.  The End."

Man, was I wrong about the relationships.  Very wrong...

Never mind that, the wife rented it because she likes James McAvoy and knows how much I dislike Vincent Cassel. She failed to realize that we both like Rosario Dawson.

By the way, Rosario Dawson drops the laundry in this one, so the wife was disappointed when Cassel and McAvoy didn't fully drop the laundry, too.  Double standard, I guess.

The concept was interesting enough, but the secrets and "pay-off" were a bit too contrived.  It kind of sucks to be manipulated into liking a character only to discover that.... (oops, I guess this would be a spoiler).  But what I can say is that stories that throw in random added ingredients to give needed substance to the cake disappoint me because sometimes the filler isn't filling

Trance was a slick, heavily frosted thriller that had some decent twists but as a whole, it was a little under cooked for my taste.

Geez, lots of food metaphors here, it must be close to feeding time. Do they say don't review when you're hungry or is it don't shop when you're hungry?

I wonder if there's any cake in the fridge...

Tuesday 23 July 2013


In case your "scroll down" doesn't work, my trailer review for Red 2 said...

"...it nicely captured everything familiar and cliche....Fun though it was on the surface, the trailer for Red 2 kind of made me feel like I was being sold something that I already had, didn't really want, ended up purchasing it anyway and now am confused as to how I got stuck with the item - and the bill."

Helen Mirren and Anthony Hopkins were great. Everyone else... meh.

Other than that, this movie redefined LAME for me.  It should have been called, "Blue" as in blue balls. As in it promised a climax but never reached it.  It was like all foreplay - but forced and uncomfortable foreplay - and no sex.  It was like all frosting and no cake.  It was like an empty piñata.  It was like a guaranteed delivery that didn't deliver. 

You get what I'm saying.

Yet another two hours of my life I'll never get back.

Red 2

I didn't know there was a Red 1.  I thought it was like that stupid Bruce Willis album, The Return of Bruno. I didn't know Bruno left.  I didn't care if he returned and after hearing the music, I wished he had stayed away.

I had to IMDB 'Red' to see if it existed.  It does.  Red 2 is the sequel.  Um... mystery solved.

Clearly, I didn't go into this review with an open mind.  Actually I'm kind of annoyed.  The wife and I are going to see a movie tonight. The two choices at our local cinema are, Red 2, and Pacific Rim.  The trailer for Pacific Rim looked awesome.  The wife doesn't care for monster movies.  I said to her that she'll see a monster if I don't get to see Pacific Rim tonight.  She smirked.  We're seeing Red 2.

I don't really want to see the trailer.  I want it to be shit and disappear like the first Red....  okay, I'll watch the trailer.

F**K.  It has Anthony Hopkins, Helen Mirren and John Malkovitch. Hopkins looks freaking hilarious as the mad genius with the "beautiful mind" but with a sense of humour.  Helen Mirren is so awesome in everything. What a class act and she looks pretty damn good for her age.  Malkovitch has such brilliant comedic timing that he makes Willis seem likable in the Red 2 trailer. Willis has been hit and miss lately and quite dull in the last Die Hard movie whose trailer I didn't review.  I think it was called, Die Hard 52: Die Already.  I still don't like Catherine Zeta Jones Douglas.  She's just so full of herself and so full of shit in every role.

Yeah, this looks fun.  The trailer had much going for it with a nice combination of action and humour.  But I think where it worked best was how it nicely captured everything familiar and cliche.  The action scenes could have been from any other action movie from the last 20 years.

Fun though it was on the surface, the trailer for Red 2 kind of made me feel like I was being sold something that I already had, didn't really want, ended up purchasing it anyway and now am confused as to how I got stuck with the item - and the bill.

Since I am not seeing this by choice, I will promptly write the VIEWED review when I get home tonight. Stay tuned.

Monday 22 July 2013

The Lone Ranger

When I searched for the trailer for The Lone Ranger, I found a few.  One was about 1:43 the other was just over 3 minutes.  Naturally, I watched the short one first.

Against my better judgement I viewed the 3:00 minute trailer, too.

I remember The Lone Ranger.  I remember there was this park that my father used to take us to when we were kids where the swings were horses.  We always fought over the white horse because The Lone Ranger rode a white horse named, Silver.  Hi oh, Silver... away!

In the classic film, A Christmas Story, we find out that Victor is the name of The Lone Ranger's nephew's horse.

Is there anything that Johnny Depp can't do? Tonto sounded a bit like a stoned Hunter S. Thomson played by Depp in, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - he's still so damn good in every role, though.  Pirates of the Caribbean aside.  I buck the trend when I say a drunk, slightly effeminate Keith Richards adaptation of a pirate villain didn't work for me.

Armie Hammer?  For real?  Of the baking soda Hammers?

There's something very romantic (in the classical sense) of a masked vigilante who seeks justice on a corrupt society.  One who walks the often blurred line between justice and law.  Kind of like my favourite, the Green Hornet - thanks for killing the memory, Rogan! From Batman to Zorro we cheer the masked vigilantes because they represent what the common man would do if he could.

The 3:00 minute trailer was too long. I shouldn't have viewed it. It kind of made me think that all the good stunts were captured in the trailer, leaving nothing to the imagination.

The 1:43 trailer was awesome!  The story, the action, the stunts, the effects, THE LONE RANGER!  An American Legend! It was exactly the right length and a model for how trailers should be.  It was near perfect!

How cool is that?  I can't believe it's taken this long to bring back The Lone Ranger... maybe that's okay, too.

Friday 19 July 2013

Crawl Bitch Crawl

When I was a kid at summer camp, some other kids put me in one of those arctic sleeping bags where only your face sticks out.  They tightened the straps.  I couldn't move.  I began to sweat and my body began to struggle in the constricting bag.  I began to panic and yelled to be released.  The kids laughed - I became even more panicked. Finally, one kid sensed my panic and let me out. That was the first time I truly felt the anxiety of claustrophobia.

Imagine what it would have been like if the bag was a tunnel and something was chasing you through it...

The trailer for Crawl Bitch Crawl has much going for it including a clear mission: deliver the last known fertile woman to safety.  It made me think of several things.  I thought of that Clive Owen film, Children of Men. I thought of playing Doom 3 and always feeling claustrophobic going through narrow spaces trying to avoid nasty monsters and, of course, death.  I thought of that terrible film, Legion, which was a poorly executed rip-off of a Huss Elassal script called, Protecting Mrs. Memphis.   The other thing that struck me was the poster...


The poster is kind of misleading for how cool this movie looks from the trailer. While I'm not crazy about the title either, the story told in the trailer (synopsis below in press release) is clear, interesting, packed with action, suspense, cool visuals and a general sense of claustrophobic panic.  It doesn't go too far and creates a sense of urgency and anxiety felt by the characters that jumps off the screen and sucks in the viewer.  Nice work.

I very much look forward to seeing this film... I just don't know where, yet.

Here's the press release - please support this project:


Horror/Sci-fi Film "CRAWL BITCH CRAWL" Releases Official Trailer and is acquired by Sales Representatives VMI Worldwide.

Tulsa, OK - 7/15/2013 - Gritty, claustrophobic Independent Horror/Sci-fi film 'CRAWL BITCH CRAWL' directed by Oklahoma Ward releases OFFICIAL TRAILER!


Synopsis:  An elite security team assigned the task of protecting the last known woman who can become pregnant, find themselves caught in an endless claustrophobic underground tunnel system. The team soon learns - the real horror is not the unstoppable creature chasing them, but the ever growing smaller tunnel itself. The will to live for each member of the team gets challenged with the obstacle of a fourteen inch two thousand foot tunnel.

What horror fans are saying about CRAWL BITCH CRAWL...

"...Get through this horror tunnel..."
-Bloody Disgusting (Mr Disgusting)

"...A Fist-Clenching, Breath-Holding, Claustrophobic Thrill-Ride..."
-Yell! Magazine (Joanna Jaguar)

"Going to the counter and ordering a ticket to this film should be fun!"
-Horror Smorgasbord (Slowdeath77)

"...Breakout Actress Nicole Alonso...kicks some serious ass..."
-Yell Magazine (Joanna Jaguar)

For More Press Quotes, visit the PRESS PAGE at our official websitewww.crawlbitchcrawl.com

Click the image below to watch the Official Trailer
or visit YouTube ...and get your BITCH on.

Monday 15 July 2013

Pacific Rim

I was really pissed when King Kong defeated Godzilla in, King Kong vs. Godzilla (1962).  I liked Godzilla in the old Japanese monster movies better than I liked the remake of Godzilla.  Cloverfield was cool because we weren't sure about the monster or where it came from but it seemed like it came from the ocean. So what happens when, in film terms, Godzilla meets Cloverfield meets Real Steel?

Pacific Rim is born.

Let's not play games here.  This is a really fun trailer.

Monsters rise from deep beneath the Pacific Ocean and start to destroy the earth - classic monster movie premise.  Conventional weapons have little to no effect. Mankind must adapt to the new threat or face its own extinction. Survival is based on evolving how battle is waged against the new enemies.  "In order to fight monsters you must become monsters..."  Fighting fire with fire, so to speak.

Giant robot fighting machines, powered by humans are the defence against the invading monsters - Robots vs. Monsters as this film is billed.

The only risk is that the giant fighting robots spawn sequels that are not really sequels but become a franchise of their own.  So, films starring the giant robots emerge with titles like, War of the Giant Fighting Robots. I am Giant Fighting Robot.  Giant Fighting Robots vs. Alien.  Giant Fighting Robots vs. Predator.  Giant Fighting Robots vs. Alien vs. Predator.  Giant Fighting Robots vs. Jason...  I digress.


I loved the trailer for Pacific Rim.

It had so much going for it - fun and cool concept, action, explosions, mass destruction, monsters, robots and the epic fight for the survival of mankind.  And, I don't recall any major actors names being dropped.

I can't wait to see this film.

Friday 12 July 2013

Grown Ups 2

I saw the first Grown Ups movie and I honestly don't remember anything about it.

I used to like Adam Sandler.

I sort of like Kevin James.

I really like Chris Rock.

David Spade is useless.

The trailer had fart and tittie jokes and juvenile pranks.

I really don't like the number "2" after a title for a sequel.  I usually hate colons in titles but Star Trek 2: The Wrath of Khan is better than just Star Trek 2.   What could one call Grown Ups 2?  Also Grown Ups or Grown Ups Also would imply a level of maturity.  Grown Ups 2: Homeward Bound?  Grown Ups 2: Old School?  Grown Ups 2: Happy Madison? Grown Ups 2: Easy Money.

I think it should be called, Grown Ups 2: Cheap Laughs.

I'll likely wait until this film is on Netflix before I see it.


And look at this...


Tuesday 25 June 2013

Reunion (review and release)

Reunion is another project from Maria Olsen and her team.  More details on the project follow my review of the trailer.

The trailer...

There's always something sad and creepy about the cruelty that some people endure (at least in the movies) in mental health facilities. While some patients or in-mates are there for a good reason, does the reason justify the cruelty? It's kind of like a controlled eye for any eye, I guess.

Isn't the purpose of a mental health facility, ultimately, to make the person better in some way?

In Reunion, we see a woman in such a facility experiencing cruelty at the hands of the caregivers. Is this justified?  We then see the tables turned and the woman now terrorizing some young people in a house.  Why?

According to the description she is searching for her long-lost son and is guided by a dark spirit.

If someone suffers from demonic possession, has the demon is exorcised, but then the demon comes back, is it called demonic repossession?

The trailer for Reunion is nicely paced and suspenseful.  It paints a picture in about a minute of a story that shows depth and emotion.  At first we sympathize with the woman in the facility, then we watch as she extols her own brand of cruelty.  The question it leaves us with is: are her actions justified?

Either way, Reunion looks like a good, thought provoking scare.

Below is the recent release... please view the trailer and please support the film.

Here's the latest news...

Reunion Film seeking Production support through CrowdFunding site Indiegogo.

Reunion is an independent thriller/horror film spearheaded by a diverse team of professional industry veterans.

Los Angeles, California – June 14th 2013

It's a cold, stormy and thunderous night.  Trapped in his own home, former rock stars Brad Norton and Grant Foley prepare for the return of their infamous band when a strange woman, Mia, shows up at their door looking for her son she calls "Alan." Unbeknownst to them, she is guided by a dark spirit and is convinced Brad kidnapped her long-lost son.

The filmmakers have assembled an experienced crew from Emmy-award winning TV shows, studios such as Lionsgate, and feature films such as "Pirates of the Caribbean," "Star Trek: Into Darkness," and "The Dark Knight."  Starting with a rock solid screenplay written by Bert Havird and led by Producer Thelonius Alexander and Director Shawn Chou, the philosophy of the filmmakers was to look for undiscovered talent that wouldn’t break the bank.  After laboring through months of casting, they recruited talented up-and-coming actors Sarah Schreiber, Cara Santana, Reign Morton, Arielle Brachfeld and Leif Gantvoort.  The independent movie also features a young heartthrob Jack Turner in his debut as well as veteran actor-producer Maria Olsen, who plays Mia, who is best known for her role as Mrs Dodds/The Fury in Fox’s “Percy Jackson & The Olympians: The Lightning Thief”.

“We rely on our team’s passion and dedication to bring our vision to life,” says Shawn.  “The most important thing is to tell a story about a ghost who tries to reunite his lookalike twin with this mysterious murderer.  It’s filled with twists and turns.  Ultimately, we ask tough questions about why people repress their memories to cope with life.”

Jack adds, “It's an incredibly interesting relationship to investigate with all its myriad complexities, amnesia, abuse and sexual tensions, and Maria is wonderful to act with.”

Here’s a link to the film’s stunning trailer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1J1XPXHuiH8

The film has plans for theatrical distribution and aims to break new boundaries in the thriller/horror genre.  And why not?  They have a great script, cast, crew, and an established formula in place.  Join Team Reunion on their journey.

Reunion is raising $75,000 and is being co-produced by Alex/Chou Pictures and MOnsterworks66.

Indiegogo Link: http://bit.ly/197Hr2W

Monday 24 June 2013

The Travel Virgin

A good friend who has been quoted many times on this blog is putting together a pilot.

Please like it on facebook:

Please check out the link and support it: 


When was the last time you had a first time?

Our friend, Christian " Boots" Elizalde hasn't had it easy so far. Yes, everyone has troubles and we won't bore you with a reality show moment sob story. Suffice it to say that his circumstances and surroundings were never in his favor. First and foremost though, he is a survivor and rises each time he falls, remaining positive no matter what the adversity. 
And, respect to him,  he never ends his quest for knowledge. He, like most people, gets most of that knowledge online. His particular research passion is the "Ancient Astronaut" theory, knowing virtually everything there is to know about the mysterious places around the world that figure into it. If you hear him talk about the subject, you get the sense that you're speaking to a worldly, albeit on the fringes, man of interest.
That is why we were shocked and baffled to learn that Boots, for all his knowledge and compellingly weird theories,  had never even been on a plane. 
After several redundant rounds of "Really? Never?", we realized that we were presented with a singular opportunity; to document an actual, completely virgin, first journey. Rarely do you have the chance to watch a grown man's whole life change right in front of you and see the world from this most unique view.

The Plan:

This is designed as a pilot for an ongoing travel/adventure show. Although he won't technically be a “virgin” after the first trip, Boots has never been anywhere so anywhere we go will be fresh and new to him. We're confident that after people see him in the pilot, they will want to continue following him. If, on the slim chance that we are wrong, and the networks and distributors we are meeting with like the idea but don't want to see Boots each time, the model of “The Travel Virgin” remains the same and we accept video submissions of people like Boots, taking them out in the world for the first time.

The Goal:

Aside from the usual financial and commercial benefits, our goal is simple; if we entertain you, you may entertain the idea of doing something you've never done before.

The Trip:

Taking into consideration Boots' keen interest in “Ancient Astronauts”, we chose the geographic heart of that theory, Peru. To go from Los Angeles to Lima is a bit of an adjustment for some of the most seasoned travelers, so in Boots' case, it should be a fairly epic eye opening. From Lima we'll be traveling to some well known sites like Machu Pichu but we will also be taking in the lesser known but equally fascinating places like Amaru Muru and Markuwasi. Because this trip is about changing perspectives, we will be doing family stays, camping out and traveling in a most un-luxrious manner so we can see all sides of Peru. Furthering that, we'll also be devoting time to doing local volunteer work. (We will update on the specific organizations when we have details) 

The Bastards Doing This:

David “Nino” Rodriguez- The Chaperone

Because every virgin needs some protection, we procured an undefeated heavyweight boxer and UFO aficionado. “Nino” is from El Paso and currently ranked 12th in the world by the WBC. When we told him the plan and the destination, he immediately agreed to “chaperone” Boots on his first time. Outside the ring, David has participated in paranormal investigations in the US and abroad with the focus mainly on UFOs. David's infectious zest for life will act as both security blanket and cattle prod on Boots' journey.

Matt Paolasso-The Point Man

Born and raised in the beauty of SoCal, Matt embodies the essence of his home state. He acts, he surfs, he builds sets...Most recently, Matt received critical success with the black comedy “Johnny, Pam, Ronny and Sam”. An accomplished bassist, guitarist and singer, Matt can often be found in local LA music venues as the "only" guy to stand in for an absent musician. A co-conspirator on this project, Matt's almost dangerous willingness to get the right shot is only overshadowed by his rabid curiosity to see what happens when Boots finally leaves his comfort zone. 

Huss- The Ringleader

The tactician and inmate running the asylum, he is most anxious and mischievously delighted to be the lead “scientist” in this social experiment. Huss is a writer originally from Toronto and no, he hasn't written anything you've heard of as he spent most of the past fifteen years as a script doctor. Done feeling like a whore, Huss decided to work on original projects, or in layman's terms starve, penning three original TV pilots and four feature scripts that are currently under furious procrastination by his agent.

But its still funny...

Make no mistake that we aim to entertain. The battle between willingness and stark terror is sure fire amusement, especially when its not you. And have no doubt that we will be taking our dear friend Boots on an adventure that we are hoping will include his temporary, fear based incontinence. 
But for whatever hilarity and hijinks may ensue, the Travel Virgin is about perspective.
Can you really know a place you've never been? Can you really understand a culture you've never experienced? And, the most important question, how will it change you?
Give yourself the opportunity of supporting an honest, hilarious, mystical and first ever journey into the world.
When you've never been anywhere, everywhere is an adventure.

Friday 21 June 2013

This is The End

Film has licence to make fun of almost anything:  alien invasion, genocide, serial killers, Hollywood, Smurfs, identity theft, cancer - not to mention all of the obvious stuff like, family, celebrity, relationships etc.

I am still mad at Seth Rogan for butchering The Green Hornet.  But am less mad at him for casting the brilliant Christoph Waltz as the villain.

So a comedy about the end of the world as seen and experienced by pot heads. I guess because it's seen and experienced by pot heads it's going to be funny.  I've heard that it's funny.  My friend, Ian, from the U.K. said it was juvenile funny.  Well, what would one expect from end of the world stoned people?

The trailer is kind of funny.  It shows exactly what the film is about: stoned people at the end of the world.  That's all I can really say about the trailer. I didn't laugh nor smile during the trailer.  I wasn't stoned, though, and haven't been in more than 7 years.

I guess I'd want to be high at the end of the world.  You know, to enjoy the cool sights and sounds and take it all in.  I could imagine that our entire universe is like a speck of dust in the fingernail of some giant being and universes are created and destroyed in what seems like tens of thousands of years to us but is really only a millisecond to our giant being host.

No, I'm not high while writing this.

Yes, I'll see this one but mostly because the wife wants to.

Monday 10 June 2013

Truth or Dare (New Trailer)

Truth or Dare is a new film by Scream Queen, Jessica Cameron and it looks like it's almost ready go!  Thanks for sending the update....

Here's my comment on the original teaser for Truth or Dare trailer:

"The teaser for Truth or Dare is just that, a teaser. It gives a small glimpse of the potential for this story. A story, I'm guessing, where lines are crossed and blurred...  When there are no rules there is nothing to bend - only pushing boundaries until something breaks. It seems like more than bones will be broken in Truth or Dare, likely spirits, too."

The second teaser was literally torture with a clear message.

The new trailer for Truth or Dare has much more polish.   It's interesting how we can watch with wonder, repulsion and even thrill, horrible acts on a screen. Torture, murder, acts of senseless violence. When we know it isn't real, it makes it easier to digest.  When it becomes to easy to digest, does that mean we become desensitized? Yet, if the horrible acts are real, do the desensitized look away?  I didn't look away while watching the teaser...

But what happens when we are so morbidly fascinated that we partake in the acts? Truth or Dare is an extreme look at a place where we are so desensitized that the only way to become sensitized is to become the morbid that we are so fascinated with. J.G. Ballard has some thoughts on this in his book, Crash... but that's for another discussion.

As for Truth or Dare, let's just say it's fun and games until someone loses an eye... or a leg... or a life...

Have a look.

And best of luck with the film, Ms. Cameron.

Wednesday 5 June 2013

Update: Way Down in Chinatown

Here's the latest on Way Down in Chinatown... Best of luck at the festival! M.
 ZZFlyer3.jpg                ZZFlyer4.jpg
WMM Fest and 2013 Hollywood Fringe Fest present: Post-Apocalyptic Noir Feature Way Down In Chinatown
June 03, 2013 – Described by the director as the ”best damn thing out of old Hollywood town since VON STRONHEIM’S GREED”.  The 2013 Hollywood Fringe Festival in conjunction with We Make Movies’ WMM FEST is proud to present a preview screening of feature film WAY DOWN IN CHINATOWN.  Written and directed by EMK (alias for director Eric Michael Kochmer, a protégé of experimental filmmaker/artist George Landow aka Owen Land) - and co-produced by Maria Olsen of MOnsterworks66, who can also be seen playing Bob - WDiC chronicles over-sexed theater couple, playwright Victor and director Jessica Mitchum who while creating a performance piece about the apocalypse begin experiencing the world slowly falling apart. They are slowly seduced by an underworld created to preserve the few who will survive an on-coming apocalypse brought on by worm-people.  The theatrical preview will book-end the Hollywood Fringe Festival with appropriately timed midnight screenings on June 15th, and 29th 2013.
WDiC stars Stephanie Sanditz (Strangers with Candy) and Justin Dray (Lake City) with sparkling cameos by Lisa Loring (original Wednesday Addams) and Nancy Wolfe (Helter Skelter). The film has already polarized critics with claims that audiences will either “…love or hate [it] but whatever your reaction, it’ll get the grey matter working harder than any movie you’ll see this year.”-Knifed In Venice. Some find it “avant garde at its finest”-Gemini Moon, while other critics find it “…a stream of nonsense …”-John Sandel.
We Make Movies (www.wemakemovies.org) is a Los Angeles based film collective of over 2000 filmmakers dedicated to making some really cool shit. WMM gears their energy toward empowering independent filmmakers and providing the resources and connections that will help them get their movies made. Since 2009, more than 40 shorts and 6 features were developed, produced or directly funded through WMM. The group alternates free weekly writers workshops, improv nights, and industry guest interviews in an effort to help filmmakers get feedback on their work, try new ideas, and learn what's working for others. #wemakemovies @wemakemoviez


Media Contacts:

Sapna Gandhi                                  Nicol Razon                                         HWFF PR
sapna@wemakemovies.org             nicol@wemakemovies.org                   PR@hwff.com

Monday 3 June 2013

VIEWED: Hitchcock

My trailer review for Hitchcock said...

"The trailer for Hitchcock brought back the admiration that I had for the great director who, by the way, always had a very brief cameo in almost all of his films.  I found myself smiling at the story, interested by the controversy of the film, Psycho, and ultimately, very eager to see this film.

Throw in the lovely and talented Helen Mirren, the lovely and slightly less talented Scarlett Johansson and the just as talented as Helen Mirren, but not as lovely as Scarlett Johansson, Toni Collette and you've got a great supporting female cast. Added bonus, really."

What fantastic supporting roles by the above-mentioned women.  Is there any role that Helen Mirren can't play?  She is truly remarkable.  Scarlett Johansson gave a spunky and sincere performance as Janet Leigh and while she didn't look like Janet, I believe she captured her spirit.  Toni Collette gives a beautiful, hilarious  and brilliantly understated performance as Peggy, Hitchcock's assistant.

While Hopkins' didn't always look like Hitchcock, he captured the dry, subtleties of the Master's personality that his fans enjoy.

I know that the film didn't get great reviews but I believe that it told the story of Hitchcock's struggles, both personally and professionally during the making of, Psycho - arguably one of the most ground breaking films of the 20th Century.

That said, from the opening sequence to the closing credits, this film captured my imagination.  I am a fan of Hitchcock.  I recently watched Rear Window and had a wonderful discussion with a friend about the lesser known classic, groundbreaking classic, Rope.

I don't care what real critics have said, I really enjoyed this biopic.

Sunday 2 June 2013

Viewed: Star Trek into Darkness

My trailer review for Star Trek into Darkness said...

"While the trailer had all the big budget epic action I'm not sure if it was good or not.  Mainly because I think any trailer for Star Trek, regardless of quality couldn't prevent me from seeing remake prequel sequel Star Trek 2 without the colon.... Yeah, I hope to see this movie soon."

The wife and I went to see this on date night.  She really wanted to see Iron Man 3, which I already saw because of our little tiff.   Without any spoilers, I maintain - and will not bend - that Bane was a more serious nemesis than The Mandarin because The Mandarin had a logo and Bane did not.

Enough of that.

Star Trek into Darkness, despite not having a colon in the title, was exactly what it was supposed to be and because I entered the cinema with no expectations or thought about the logical progression of story, sequence/sequel/prequel/remake I found it entertaining and was amused by the kicker.  That's all I can say without spoiling it.

I can't wait for the next one.

The wife had never seen any of the Star Trek movies and says she didn't care for any of the TV series.  During the film she occasionally elbowed me or whispered, "is this serious?"  or "are you kidding me?" 

I suspect she is part Klingon.

Friday 31 May 2013

Star Trek into Darkness

In total, this is the twelfth Star Trek movie.  Films one through six had colons in their titles.  Star Trek: The Motion picture, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier... etc.  Star Trek 7 didn't.  It was just called Star Trek Generations, but 8 had the colon again.  Star Trek: First Contact.  Star Trek 11, the remake prequel of the original didn't have a colon and now the first sequel in the remake prequel series doesn't either.  In the history of the series this is the first time there have been back to back titles without colons.  Nerdy much?

Benedict Cumberbatch was the best part of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy.  The film was like staring at a dry, colourless canvass. Benedict was the only splash of colour.  He was good as Sherlock Holmes, too.

When I reviewed Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy I commented about how dry it was and that I felt thirsty watching it... I received a comment from a reader on my review...

"I liked it. I think Benedict Cumberbatch is f**king phenomenal in it. (Then again, when is he ever not.) Your review displeases me. I am now going to glare at my computer and hope you feel my wrath."

Clearly he has a fan base, at least one...

It was cool seeing him in the trailer for this colon-less titled Star Trek movie.  He was a badass: cold and ruthless.  While Chris Pine is no William Shatner, William Shatner is no Chris Pine.  In fairness, Pine's Kirk is the remake prequel Kirk, which means younger and less experienced, but no less cocky.  Zachary Quinto plays Spock like Leonard Nimoy played Spock -  which is the only way to play Spock.  Zoe Saldana.  Say no more.

I think I liked the remake prequel, Star Trek.  At least I don't remember disliking it.  I generally like this type of sci-fi.  It's fun, kind of epic and, while the stories are pretty much the same, they are usually entertaining.  You know, madman wants to take over or destroy the world because he has a gripe with the establishment, or the government or the USS Enterprise or he hates Captain Kirk or his daddy/uncle/mentor.

And, when all appears lost, the Enterprise and it's crew will rise from the ashes (or the water like in the trailer) and kick ass because as I've said before, the good guys are always supposed to win.

While the trailer had all the big budget epic action I'm not sure if it was good or not.  Mainly because I think any trailer for Star Trek, regardless of quality couldn't prevent me from seeing remake prequel sequel Star Trek 2 without the colon.

Yeah, I hope to see this movie soon.

Thursday 30 May 2013

VIEWED: The Three Stooges

My trailer review for The Three Stooges said...

"I rarely review a trailer that has so much going on and yet leaves me so empty.  There must be a reason for it...  You know what? I need to see this movie just to see if it's the trailer that sucks or just me..."

The wife and I watched this the other night on Netflix.

You know what? It was the trailer that sucked, not me. Although I do get the odd email that simply says, "you suck."

The Farelly Brothers version of The Three Stooges did try to capture the spirit of the original series and, while it was brilliant watching the people from Jersey Shore get smacked around by Moe, it wasn't real and so, only mildly amusing.

When it ended I felt just as empty as I did after the trailer. The wife just looked at me and said, "let's fold laundry."

Wednesday 29 May 2013

Editorial: Movie Trailers too long... says, um... NATO?

Amen... but...

It has come to my attention that NATO (The National Association of Theatre Owners) NATO.  That's freaking hilarious... NATO.... I just pissed myself.

NATO has determined that movie trailers, which average 2.5 minutes, are too long and take away from the movie going experience. The studios disagree.  One studio executive who chose to remain anonymous, said, "My trailers are 2.5 minutes because that's what we need to send the right message..."

My experience reviewing movie trailers is that more than 2 minutes usually means spoiler.  Spoiler usually means that I will refuse to see the film because they've served me the appetizer as the main course. While there are exceptions, the rule is generally that trailers give away too much and the longer they are the more they give away.  Except Cloud Atlas.  That was 6 minutes of me saying, "huh?" Don't get me started...

What is NATO really saying?  I think NATO wants to have shorter movie trailers - shorter by 30 seconds from what I'm reading - so that they can throw in more paid advertising.  While I enjoy watching movie trailers at the cinema, I despise commercials at the cinema.  The cinema should be a sacred place.  

The studios don't seem to care that their trailers are too long and give away too much.  The studios don't care that they continue to treat movie goers more and more like mindless cattle.  Both NATO and the studios only want to make more money.  Well, that's a given.

The reality is that movie trailers are a marketing tool and are treated by the studios us such.  Understandable. From a marketing perspective, it's trying to convey a message in a limited amount of time for the purpose of attracting customers.  Simple.  Some, like me though, find art in movie trailers.  Others find art in television commercials, as there are awards for television commercials. I have the Beerbohm Awards for movie trailers...  

NATO, congratulations on saying the right thing, but for the wrong reason.

Here's the story from the Hollywood Reporter...


Tuesday 28 May 2013

VIEWED: Iron Man 3

My trailer review for Iron Man 3 said...

"...it made me think of The Dark Knight Rises.... I know that despite the stories being pretty much the same, I can't get enough.  It's the 10 year-old boy in me that absolutely loves every second of every setback and bites his nails during every battle and cheers the loudest when good triumphs over evil. Because good triumphing over evil is what is ALWAYS supposed to happen.... I can't wait to see this movie and, for 2 hours, be a 10 year old boy again.  Thank you comic book movies for giving me that joy!"

The argument with the wife continued (see my Parker review).  My opinion was based on the trailer and The Mandarin having a logo, where Bane did not have one.  So, when the wife told me that her girl friend and daughter were coming over for dinner I quickly checked the movie listings...  Hello, Iron Man 3 at the local cinema!

It really was an Iron Man rises type story... you know, just when you think you've lost everything, than you can rise up and do anything... you know... just when things seem darkest, then there is light... you know... it's the man that makes the costume and not the costume that makes the man... you know, we must move forwards, not backwards, upwards, not forwards, and always twirling towards freedom... (thanks Kang and Kodos).

I'm just being a dick.

Iron Man 3 was awesome.  I loved it.  All of it.  The dumb, the fun, the unbelievable... Downey Jr. is so awesome.  I loved The Mandarin Ben Kingsley, shithead Guy Pierce, the story, the holes in the story, EVERYTHING!

It was everything that is good about Hollywood.  It knew it's place and it made that place entertaining as hell... and I will see it again... and again... and again.

And, yes, it's like the best part of being 10 years old, again.

Monday 27 May 2013

VIEWED: Parker

My trailer review for Parker said...

I know I've said this before but...

Jason Statham does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.  Jason Statham goes killing.  And, If you can see Jason Statham, he can see you.  If you can't see Jason Statham you may be only seconds away from death.

The trailer for Parker was exactly what it was supposed to be: Statham kicking ass.  That's good enough for me.

The wife rented Parker for me this past weekend.  Then we had an argument because she thinks The Mandarin is a better arch villain then Bane, I say no because Bane didn't have a logo.  So, she went to the other room to watch the chick flick she also rented and I watched Parker.

There was something wrong with how Parker kicks ass in Parker. Well, maybe not wrong but not in the typical Statham is the new Chuck Norris, way.  Parker opens with Statham dressed as a priest and, despite committing a crime with his "crew" he shows calm and compassion, like his disguise would suggest. He has flashbacks to his girlfriend and her father... la la la.... happy happy, even though they discuss heists.

As soon as he removes the priest outfit, he's double crossed (not just for that reason) and all that biblical, "judge not lest ye be judged.." "do unto others..." "turn the other cheek..." disappears like so much of the acting.

Then it's just another revenge picture.

You see, when I see a Statham movie all I really want to see is Jason Statham kicking ass in the most creative and acrobatic ways.  I don't really care much about the story.

While Parker is okay for what it is, there was just too much story and while seeing J-LO's backside was nice, and Statham's acting isn't bad, the real draw is the ass-kicking.  Sadly, there just wasn't enough backside or ass-kicking in-between the story.

Still, Jason Statham is the new Chuck Norris and I repeat this because it does apply to Parker...

"If you can't see Jason Statham you may be only seconds away from death."

So true.

Friday 24 May 2013

The Great Gatsby

I studied The Great Gatsby in grades 9, 11, 12, and in a first-year university English course.  I feel I know it intimately.  Well, I feel I knew it intimately.  It was a beautiful examination of, among many things, voids - emotional, physical, spiritual and especially moral.  I truly grew to love and appreciate the depth in the shallows of this story.

Yes, I know I always say that it's better to remake a bad movie than it is to remake a good movie, badly. I don't recall the 1974 version being a good movie, but I did see it.  Should this apply to books, too?  Well, it's not being re-written... 

Maybe I should rewrite, The Great Gatsby, and call it, um... The Great Gatsby and then re-sell the film rights.  Oh, wait, isn't that copyright infringement? Why isn't it the same for movies... I digress.

I kind of liked the trailer.  It showed much of the decadence, tension and conflict contained in the story but it didn't give it all away like many trailers do.  I liked the pace the visuals.  However, the "mwah mwah" music that is so tediously popular today almost killed it for me, as the trailer opens with the aural assault of tired musical cliche... thankfully it ended and the trailer was able to recover and deliver an entertaining product. 

The music bothered me so much that I watched the "international trailer" on IMDB.  It was different and the music, while still kind of Jim Steinman Bonnie Tyler epic annoying, was still better than "mwah mwah" music.

The IMDB trailer told the story of a man of many "secrets" trying to recapture a past love, with snippets of jealousy and betrayal.  While this is a love story of sorts, I don't see it as a chick flick and thus will be happy to see it with the wife.

My mother was visiting from Toronto a few weeks ago and told me she was bored.  I told her to go see a movie.  She went to see The Great Gatsby.  When she returned I asked her what she thought of it.  She told me that she was still bored.

Please note:  The views of my mom do not necessarily reflect the views of Beerbohmtastic, especially if I haven't seen the movie, yet.

Sunday 12 May 2013

Rare Editorial - VIEWED: Shark Night 3D

People often ask me if I have any interest in advertising on my blog. I usually tell them that this blog is a special place for me.  I love movies and enjoy movie trailers.  If I were to advertise it would make this blog more like a job. I don't ever want to feel obligated to provide content in order to drive traffic.  As long as I have the drive and desire to add content, I will. 

This is where it ends.  Sorry, mom.

Occasionally I do a Google search for "Beerbohmtastic" to see what comes up.  I discovered that some site has valued this blog at $264 US. No, mom, I'm not selling it and buying you a new VCR. I don't even think they make VCR's anymore. How many times can you watch Ben Hur?

That said, my blog has a 100% safety rating. I am glad that it is a safe place.  It would suck if you the reader were in danger while visiting.  This is supposed to be fun.  It isn't supposed to hurt your computer or insult your intelligence... at least I hope not on both counts.

There is a world filled with people who love film and whether viewer, film maker/actor/crew etc., critic, lover or hater, we all share a passion for the art. 

As I also do once in a while, I look at my blog stats.  I was surprised to see that my posting titled, "VIEWED: Shark Night 3D" has 185 more all-time page views than the next most popular post.  185!!!???

Why do people seek out this particular post?

Is the post funny?  Is it insulting? Is it way off base? Am I missing something?

I hated the trailer and found the movie to miss the mark on every level, including social commentary and anything remotely tongue-in-cheek.  Thus, the trailer seemed insignificant and the movie wasn't clever like it tried so hard to be.

Yes, I am very much aware that I'm not as clever as I try so hard to be, either... point taken.

I'm curious.  I'd really appreciate your comments on my "VIEWED: Shark Night 3D" post. Either leave them below, tweet me @beerbohmtastic or email me at beerbohmtastic@gmail.com

Here it is for reference: http://beerbohmtastic.blogspot.ca/2012/10/viewed-shark-night-3d.html

I will post all comments, good, bad insulting or otherwise.

Thanks for reading and commenting and sending me really cool stuff!


Wednesday 8 May 2013

Way Down in Chinatown

Thank you to Maria Olsen for inviting me to review this film, pre-release.

I've never really reviewed a film on this blog without reviewing the trailer, first. But I've never been asked to review a film prior to its release before.


What if you were part of a race or species that were on the verge of an apocalypse and there was nothing you could do? Would you panic? Would you run and hide? Not knowing exactly when the end would come would you spend every unknowing moment with loved ones? Would you do, or continue to do, what you loved?

If you were part of a race or species that were observing another race or species' slow demise, what would you do? Would you stand back and watch them destroy themselves? Would you try to help prevent their demise or destruction? What if you didn't have the power? Would you try to save a few? Who would you save?

Way Down in Chinatown examines both sides.

There is a couple, a play write and his manager/partner/wife who continue to live their lives against the backdrop of an impending apocalypse. So immersed in their work that when we meet them they are in the process of casting for their newest play, Apocalypse Tomorrow (I think). Talk about drawing inspiration from a bleak situation...

There are underground dwellers in Way Down in Chinatown. They are a sort worm people. They are aware of the apocalypse but do not have the power to stop it. So, in order to ensure that they have entertainment before the apocalypse kills everyone on the surface, they select "exceptional" people to lure - with no pretence of saving them - underground.

Way Down in Chinatown was interesting to watch and conceptually pretty cool. When it ended it took me a while to process it. I let it sit and digest for four days before writing this review.  I'm glad I did because as I reflect on it, there was a depth to it that I didn't quite grasp when I viewed it and it posed questions that were difficult to answer.

Watch it and see for yourself...

Tuesday 30 April 2013

Viewed: Pain and Gain

My trailer review said...

"So, how does one create a trailer that teases without giving away the story when we know the story (well if we google it) because it's true? Not like this. While I like the cast, I've already seen this film via the trailer."

The wife and I stood inside our local theatre and argued over which movie to see.  I wanted to see Oblivion... you know, in Cruise we trust, when Cameron Diaz is NOT in the film.  Nothing against Cameron but the duo don't work.

The wife wanted to see Pain and Gain.  She doesn't like Tom Cruise.  I told her the story based on the trailer.  She made it clear that she was not going to see Oblivion. So, while I stared down at my lack of abs and flexed my less than bulging biceps, I conceded.

Pain and Gain was exactly like the trailer, only with detail of course.  No surprises.

While the movie itself wasn't bad and the acting was fine, the story - the true story - was brutal and disturbing.  The criminals who committed the heinous crimes were true morons.  But sadly, they were a reflection of a shallow generation - beautiful on the outside, ugly on the inside.

The wife said it was difficult to watch the brutality.  I felt it was just difficult to watch.

The trailer was more than enough.

Truth or Dare (Update)

There's a new updated teaser trailer for Scream Queen, Jessica Cameron's new film, Truth or Dare.

"Eeny, meeny, miny, moe.."  Which direction will Truth or Dare go?

See here... because it's torture ;p


Pain and Gain

Who doesn't like Dwayne Johnson?  Seriously, he's a badass with great comedic timing. Wahlberg has done some good things, but as the post-traumatic-stress disorder fire-fighter who prefers to ride a bicycle in, I Heart Huckabees, he was at his best.

The trailer says that Pain and Gain is a true story. It's directed by Michael Bay which will mean an explosion and at least one car chase.  I like explosions and car chases.

The trailer also shows that Wahlberg, Dwayne and their sidekick plan a heist on a rich guy, played by Tony Shaloub (another one with brilliant comedic timing).  The trailer opens with Wahlberg getting chased by police. Then goes into planning the crime, committing the crime, almost killing the mark (Shaloub) by running over his face with a van, getting away with it, temporarily, and then Ed Harris foils the crime and the boys go to jail.  I'm guessing the last part because it's a true story and we know that they go to jail.

So, how does one create a trailer that teases without giving away the story when we know the story (well if we google it) because it's true?

Not like this.

Last year I dropped the Worst Spoiler Trailer category from the Annual Beerbohm Awards, but in the last month I have enough nominees to reinstate the prize.  It's annoying.

While I like the cast, I've already seen this film via the trailer.

Thursday 18 April 2013


What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhino?
Hell if I know...

I am Legend was a better Omega Man which sort of confirms my believe that it's better to remake a bad movie than it is to remake a good movie badly. Please, Spike, don't do it! Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.

My daughter played an adventure game on her PC called Oblivion.  I used to be a FPS (first person shooter) game fanatic, but when I tried Oblivion, not an FPS, I couldn't seem to get past the first section - collecting stuff. My daughter laughed at me and called me lame.

When she was in grade 2 a guest speaker spoke to the class about the dangers of video games.  At the time the speaker cited, among others, the game, "Doom."  She told the class how bad it was and that people who play video games are violent.  My daughter put her hand up and said, "my daddy plays Doom3 and he's not violent so I don't believe you."  I was so proud.

Oblivion the video game has nothing to do with this movie. Oblivion the movie isn't a remake of anything from what I can tell, either.  So, what the hell am I talking about?

Post apocalyptic fantasies are usually interesting, if nothing else.  They show what the world could be like when we humans, sometimes helped by aliens or mother nature, truly f**k things up.  There is often much creativity in the story telling.  I kind of like post apocalyptic visions on film.

I also think Tom Cruise is still a great action hero. When his name is on the marquee for a movie, I trust that it will be entertaining.  In Cruise we trust.... He's had a few duds, for sure, but (lovely) Cameron Diaz isn't in this one.
The trailer for Oblivion shows two people, Tom, the "fixer" and his high-tech administrative colleague. They are on earth after a war that has caused humans to flee and/or be elsewhere.  Tom and partner are almost ready for "elsewhere" when they discover the underground people.  This first part of the trailer was cool, even when he goes underground, is captured and we meet antagonist, Morgan Freeman.

When you've seen as many movies, well trailers anyway, as I have you make associations. A few things came to mind.  Omega Man, for one... just because there were people living underground who "survived" the apocalyptic nightmare.  In the case of Oblivion, war.   As mentioned earlier, Omega Man became I am Legend and a bad movie was remade into a good movie... Sorry Chuck.

The more we see and hear Morgan Freeman in the trailer the more the name Michael Bay pops into my head.  As in, The Island. You know, everybody want to go to the "Island" where life is beautiful because the people don't realize that they are being harvested for their organs... kind of like that Twilight Zone episode from the 60's where the payoff is the last line spoken, "to serve man... it's a cook book!"

The second half of the trailer reveals a conspiracy of sorts and it is implied that elsewhere doesn't really exist "the people who you work for have lied to you..." says Morgan.  So he shows Tom what is really going on... thankfully I'm too dumb to truly figure it out but I know it's implied in the trailer somewhere... and now Tom has turned against his bosses and is on the side of the underground people trying to find the truth and then make things right.

Kind of a spoiler trailer, huh?

I like Tom and Morgan.  I like these types of movies even if I don't always like their trailers. I'll still see it. I might even like it.

Tuesday 16 April 2013

Truth or Dare

Truth or Dare is a new film by Scream Queen Jessica Cameron.

I recently viewed the 55 second teaser trailer - thanks for sending the link.

“Truth or Dare, is about 6 college kids who find Internet stardom when they make 'Truth or Dare' videos with a violent twist. It is all fun and games until their number one fan decides he wants to play..." 

The teaser shows Jessica Cameron, bloodied and gagged with an off-screen voice - her captor - telling her... "...you can't have a game without rules and you have to follow the rules in order for the game to work... now what's it going to be, truth or dare?"

After reading the synopsis and then watching the trailer, one classic Cronenberg movie jumped out at me like the Alien bursting out of John Hurt's chest... Videodrome.  Yeah, the title is so 80's but it was basically a reality/fantasy/sex blur mindf**k involving a pirate cable TV broadcast of torture and murder. Back in the day they called it a snuff film. 

"Television is the retina of the mind's eye..." is a famous quote from the film.  I like the quote because I believe it's saying that art doesn't imitate life any more, life imitates art. Just look at reality TV...  wouldn't it be great to see a movie where a serial killer has decided that he will rid the world of reality TV by.... No, no, no... I digress.

In the case of Truth or Dare, maybe it's "youtube is the reality of a desensitised generation..."  or maybe it's, "it's all fun and games until someone loses a limb..."  What do I know?

What I do know is that in the last six months on this blog, I have been exposed to the beauty, creativity and vision of independent film.  There is a vibrant community taking risks and working hard to make an impact on an industry that is both brilliant and stupid, sometimes in the same breath.  But the independents are making an impact and it's awesome for everyone.

The teaser for Truth or Dare is just that, a teaser. It gives a small glimpse of the potential for this story. A story, I'm guessing, where lines are crossed and blurred.  Everybody wants to be a star.  Youtube is a likely delivery method. When there are no rules there is nothing to bend - only pushing boundaries until something breaks. It seems like more than bones will be broken in Truth or Dare, likely spirits, too.

Check out the teaser and decide for yourself...