VIEWED: Catch .44

My recommendation for this one was...

"I'd like to see Catch .44 when it comes out on video, but since there is no video store near me I guess I won't be able to see it..."

Well, we rented this one from the video store that we discovered in our neighbourhood; the one that was always there but we never noticed until the Blockbuster closed down.

Catch .44 is a multiple double-cross caper film that tried so hard to be cool and slick in a Tarantino, Guy Ritchie sort of way.  It failed on every level.  The storyline was so weak it was almost invisible. The cast, despite their individual past successes, were terrible.  I've never seen Bruce Willis so lame and I can't believe how dull the usually brilliant Forest Whitaker was.

The wife told me to say something nicer than, the film was a complete waste of time.  I can't think of anything nicer.

40 Days at Base Camp

This one is by request...

When my wife was pregnant she wanted to get a doula.  A doula, as I learned, is a birthing coach.  Not quite a mid-wife, a doula pretty much provides support before, during and shortly after the birth.  Kind of like a guide; at least that's how I saw her.  So much so, in fact, that I kept calling her a Sherpa.  At first she seemed annoyed and when she finally corrected me, I said that I thought of her as someone helping us over the mountain of child birth.  She seemed satisfied, the wife rolled her eyes between contractions and I was pleased with myself.

40 Days at Base Camp is a documentary, by Dianne Whelan about the different types of people who try to climb Mt. Everest.  I say "try" because the trailer tells us that 1 in 4 die trying.

I'm not a mountain climber, but I know people who have climbed Mt. Kilimanjaro.  Apparently Kilimanjaro is a walk in the park compared to Mt. Everest.  I prefer a walk in the park, myself.

The trailer is both visually beautiful and harsh.  You have the beauty and clearly unforgiving majesty of the great white and grey mountain juxtaposed with colourful tents, colourful clothing, garbage, waste and death.  We also learn from the trailer the motivations of many people from all over the world.  I think that is the point of this documentary; Whelan spends 40 days at base camp listening, without prejudice or judgment, to the stories of these climbers. That alone, could be amusing or entertaining.

Personally, I'd rather take a Bugatti Veyron or Ariel Atom V8 around a racetrack, but that documentary, likely titled, 40 Days in the Hospital wouldn't be as interesting as 40 Days at Base Camp.

I think we'll rent this one.

VIEWED: The Avengers

My recommendation for this one was...

"No point in me really reviewing the trailer. We know the drill, good guys vs. bad guys to save (or at least avenge) the earth. This movie looks and feels like a winner and I'm too um... excited about it.
I can't wait to see it on the big screen and I hope that my local cinema has stocked enough red licorice."

The wife and I saw this last night in 3D.

Firstly, it was the best 3D movie I've ever seen.  And the wife, who hates 3D movies said the same... yes, we agreed.

Secondly, it was the most exciting comic book movie I've ever seen.

Thirdly, while I said in my original review I wouldn't use the word "giddy" any more, I was f**king giddy from seeing this film - even more so than the trailer.


I'm sorry but I can barely contain my enthusiasm for The Avengers.

My friend, Huss, (who also loved it) said...

"Everything wrong about Hollywood done absolutely right." 

I'm not sure about the "wrong" part but I agree about the "done absolutely right" part.

And, there was plenty of red licorice in the cinema and the need for a toothpick wasn't even a distraction...

All hail Joss Whedon.

Men in Black 3

Many years ago I went to see The Stranglers in concert.  I was with my friend, John, who was a bass player and a big fan of JJ Burnell, The Stranglers bass player.  JJ was also a martial artist and kicked alot while he played bass.  We were close to the stage and during a song, JJ accidentally kicked John in the head... then gave him a beer as an apology.

The Stranglers started as an angry punk-ish band with Doors style keyboards.  Later they became more experimental.  One of their experimental albums was called, The Gospel According to the Men in Black.  The theme of the album was that humans were being farmed and harvested by an alien race called The Men in Black for food. 

I would compare The Gospel According to the Men in Black to The Gospel according to Spinal Tap... the fictional review stated, "on which day did God create Spinal Tap and why couldn't he have rested on that day?"

Is there a movie goer out there that doesn't like Will Smith?  Is there a movie goer out there that doesn't like Tommy Lee Jones?  Is there a movie goer out there that doesn't think Josh Brolin is a very versatile and talented actor?  Let me know.

I really like the MIB franchise.  The elements of action, humour, surprise and some clever story lines always seem to deliver.  As a trailer, MIB3 has all the fun, familiarity and twists to indicate that it'll be just as entertaining as the others, and Josh Brolin as a young K looks hilariously dead pan.

I will see this one on a big screen.

Battleship

I trust every review, even a trailer review, will start with reference to the board game, Battleship.  I never owned it but played it when I was a kid.  That's all.

Watching the trailer, I kept thinking of that Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck movie, Armageddon.  Remember that one?  Captain of oil rig, Bruce, hates Ben for many reasons but mostly because Ben is dating his daughter... then they have to work together to save the world.  But I think the tagline was: Hey, you sunk my meteor! I remember it being very entertaining.

So, Liam Neesan.  I like this guy.  He's an ageing bad ass and he's a solid actor.  I liked his real accent better - somewhere from the U.K., I think?  Taylor Kitsch.  I didn't see John Carter, haven't seen any of his shows and I don't remember him from anything else that he's listed on.

I heard that Disney took a beating from John Carter.  A similar beating to the one the martians took from John Carter in the film... only financial.  Maybe it was the title or the marketing.  I haven't seen it yet but I heard it was pretty good.  A reader, Lightening, commented:

Wicked, awesome movie. Better than Attack of the Clones.  Solid acting, original story, funny. Best Sci-fi I've seen since Avatar. Too bad the marketing dept. screwed up the sale.

Disney is, arguably, one of the greatest marketing machines on the planet.  I love Walt Disney World.  I don't think that one box office flop will slow Disney down too much, and I'm sure The Avengers will more than make up for the marketing mistake of John Carter.  Now, I really want to rent John Carter.

Battleship, the trailer:  to be honest, it looks like a really dumb action movie.  While the action did look kind of cool in an alien invasion, except by sea, sort of way, the dialogue in the trailer was so cliche it was laughable. Though I sometimes enjoy a dumb action movie, this trailer didn't really grab me.

A new video store opened in my neighbourhood.  It has actually been around for a while but I hadn't noticed it as months after the local Blockbuster closed down, I still stared longingly at the empty blue and yellow structure... please read my Blockbuster editorial http://beerbohmtastic.blogspot.ca/2011/10/editorial-good-bye-blockbuster.html

My point to that is the wife has been dropping into the new (always had been there) video store and has been bringing home shit because I think she's forgotten the process of movie rental selection.  Everyone has there own process... come on... admit it.

Battleship will be on the list of "if you can't decide on a movie, just get this one" movies to watch.  Then when it ends I can say, "hey, you sucked you battleshit!" 

The Dictator

Almost ten years ago a friend invited me over to watch a video of a comedian she had just "discovered."  The video was Ali G's BBC TV show.  She had described his humour to me for weeks but I just didn't get it.  She would say things like "innit" and "check ya' self before ya' wreck ya' self..." and I would stare blankly at her.  I finally conceded and said I would watch - just to shut her up.

The episodes I viewed included a discussion with a feminist activist and Ali made a comment that women shouldn't be judges because they menstruate.  The guest was shocked and Ali said, "all me know is dat when me Julie have da' painters in da' house, everybody guilty..."  As shocked as I was at this type of humour, I found it hilarious.  He takes the piss out of serious, unsuspecting people and made a career out it.

Fast forward past Sacha Baron Cohen's Ali G BBC show, the Ali G movie Indahouse, Ali G in America, Borat, Bruno and while I liked all of those characters, the brilliant humour sometimes came across as mean spirited.  Although it was always fun to watch any one of his characters take the piss out of racists, homophobes, liberals, conservatives, socialists, feminists, beach bums, square dancers, Donald Trump... everyone really.  Occasionally, he might have gone too far.  Borat singing "Throw the Jew down the well.. so my country can be free..." in a red neck bar with people happily singing along was a bit unnerving.

And speaking of possibly going too far, now we have The Dictator.  I say possibly because one never knows how people will react if offended by this film.  Let's face it, Sacha, while being a brilliant comedian (check out his Harvard commencement speech from 6 or 7 years ago http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ66pOtfOYg), he is Jewish and he appears to be taking the piss out of Islam, at least extremists.  Remember what happened to Salman Rushdie and the dude who drew the caricature of the prophet Mohamed?

As a trailer, The Dictator is more of the same Sacha Baron Cohen gags, only with a new character.  I like the fact that he stays in character when he's promoting the film and, like he did with Borat, causes a stir with the Hollywood establishment. 

Max Beerbohm said that, "nobody ever died of laughter."  I just hope that Sacha making us laugh doesn't upset the wrong people and get him put on some kind of hit list.  I'll say one thing:  dude has balls.

I'll see this one.

Dark Shadows

About a month ago a reader asked me to review this trailer.  While I viewed it, I said that I would review it closer to the release date.  During that time I found the remake TV soap opera, Dark Shadows, from 1991.  The original Dark Shadows TV show ran from 1966 to 1971.

While I couldn't sit through more than two episodes, the 1991 remake of the TV show was a big ball of camp stuffed with cheese and rolled in low-budget melodrama... I'm not sure if I was supposed to laugh, but I did, though not enough to warrant watching episode 3.

While Tim Burton is hit and miss for me,  Johnny Depp is always 'hit'.  He's another one of those actors that just makes everything he's in better by association.  I still can't believe that he has not won an Oscar.  If there was a Beerbohm Award for Best Actor in a Trailer, I think Depp would be the winner.

In a nutshell, the Dark Shadows story is: Dysfunctional man from a wealthy family scorns a woman who wants him.  Woman turns out to be a witch and puts a curse on him. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned..."  as Bill Shakespeare told us.  Anyhow, she puts a curse on him, turning him into a vampire, and buries him.  He is buried for many years (hundreds?) and when he is resurrected, his family (rather, descendants of) are still dysfunctional and he must save them from themselves while navigating through the turbulent... um... 1970's. 

Dark Shadows is gothic, but comical... maybe even cothic or gomical?

On the poster Depp looks a little like Eddie Munster standing in front of  the Addams Family.  The trailer was really entertaining.  It felt a bit like the Addams Family meets Beetlejuice meets The Nightmare Before Christmas and delivered in a kind of scary, fun, almost slapstick way... Tim Burton's way.

Depp also made me think of Count Chocula.  I haven't seen Count Chocula in the cereal section of the supermarket in years.  The other day I bought Lucky Charms.  I wonder if Count Chocula was taken off the market because it caused blindness in laboratory bats.

I love the way the trailer looked and felt, and Depp's comedic timing is usually brilliant.  Add the solid supporting cast and a story that I have no doubt Burton had fun with, and it's definitely a film that I'll see, either big screen or rental.

VIEWED: Haywire

My recommendation for this one was:

"All that said, Haywire could easily be Colombiana (which the wife said was "shit") or La Femme Nakita or even the female Bourne Identity. But you know what? Whether this movie will be as predictable as the trailer looks or not, the hot girl kicking ass is still fun to watch."

I didn't see Colombiana and as fun is it is to watch a hot girl kicking ass, Gina Cerano's looks and fighting ability were completely overshadowed by her cardboard performance in a dull story.  What a sad waste of a brilliant supporting cast.  So, when Haywire ended the wife asked, "what did you think?"   I responded in the same tone as she did in her review of Colombiana...

"it was shit."

Meeting Evil

Meeting Evil is an old theme.  Think of the classic German tale, Faust or the American version, The Devil and Daniel Webster. The song version would be Charlie Daniel's, The Devil went down to Georgia.

The old theme is basically, man suffers string of bad luck.  He is on the verge of losing everything, or does.  He is vulnerable. He makes a pact with a stranger, the devil (literally or metaphorically).  Luck changes.  Everything is better.  Man confident.  Man almost arrogant; drunk with his own success.  Devil comes to collect debt.  Debt is usually man's soul or life or both.  Man resists and tries to beat Devil.  In the end, man finds loophole and everything is back to normal, well, sort of.  Kind of a distorted message, don't you think?  Sell your soul, declare bankruptcy and avoid paying the debt.  Sounds a bit like the global economic crisis we're in...

The Hunger Games is also an old theme. I don't think for one minute that Meeting Evil will be as successful or as good as The Hunger Games. It's just that old themes, if they haven't been done in recent years or if they attempt a new spin, can seem both fresh and familiar.

I like Luke Wilson.  I like him much better than Owen Wilson.  Luke never annoys me on screen and he was brilliantly sad and disturbed in The Royal Tenanbaums. Wes Anderson is a favourite.

When the wife and I were in Jamaica, Lakeview Terrace was on TV every morning.  We watched it while we prepared for our day. Every morning we missed the ending because, who wants to spend their vacation watching a crap movie? Sam L. was really menacing.  He can have a very intimidating presence.  Sometimes he makes a bad movie watchable.

The trailer for Meeting Evil seems to show that, since Wilson is trying to get out of their deal, the devil (or whatever Sam is) is killing people and Wilson is being accused of the crimes.  During the interrogations Luke tries to tell the police that he is innocent.  There was this evil guy...  So, the question becomes, is the devil character real or is he part of Wilson`s imagination and is Wilson really the killer?  Kind of like The Secret Window?

Movies like this can be entertaining and are usually decent rentals when you`re not sure what you feel like.  That's as committal as I can be with this one.

The Five-Year Engagement

These kind of romantic comedies usually annoy me.  I guess because everyone has a romantic comedy in them, which obviously confirms the appeal of these types of films.  Ask any couple, and they will tell you sweet, funny, touching and often interesting stories of how they met and their courtship.  Hence, the endless supply of scripts, I guess.  It is these courtship stories that, more often than not, make it to the big screen as "romantic comedies."

After the courtship, real life begins.  Real life may not be as interesting as the courtship, but it can be the best part of the romance.  The part where acceptance, compassion and unconditional love take the romance to a higher level.  But, while the real life is a theme, and can be funny, sweet and interesting on film, the finish line of a romantic comedy is different.  Kind of like sprint vs. marathon.

It's much lighter (and easier) to watch a romantic comedy where we know the couple, regardless of the length of engagement, is likely going to overcome whatever obstacles presented before them and, just when we think they'll break up, they come together and make the life-long commitment.  Doesn't the label "comedy" imply a happy ending? Everyone walks away happy with one hand holding your lover's hand and the other picking popcorn out of your teeth.

The wife loves these types of movies.  When I'm in the doghouse, I watch these types of movies with her.  Sometimes I am pleasantly surprised.  Sometimes I am bored.  Sometimes I keep my mouth shut and smile to avoid conflict.

I haven't seen Jason Segal in anything other than Knocked Up and Forgetting Sarah Marshall.  Guess who took me to see those?  He was hilarious in Knocked Up and showed his ass.  He was kind of funny and a bit annoying in an Owen Wilson pouty sort of way in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and he showed his penis.  I'll have to see him in a few other films before I can comment further.

The trailer for The Five-Year Engagement made me think of one thing:  It took longer to watch the movie, Titanic, than it took the actual Titanic to sink.

I'm not sure I can sit through even 2 hours of a five year engagement.  Not unless the wife has anything to say about it, of course.

May Day Max Beerbohm Quote

"We must stop talking about the American dream and start listening to the dreams of Americans."

The Avengers

I watched the trailer for The Avengers a few months ago and the line "if we can't protect the earth, you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it" was nominated (submitted by a reader) for a 2012 Beerbohm Award for Best Line in a Trailer.  I was giddy from excitement when I watched it then but didn't review it.  I am giddy from watching this trailer, now.... several times over. 

Anyone who knows me or reads this blog knows that I am a huge fan of comic book movies - unless they star.... ahhh f**k it, I'm too giddy to slam anyone or anything right now.  That is the last time I will use the word "giddy" in this review.

I loved the Iron Man movies and believe that Robert Downey Jr. is one of America's best actors.

Captain America was okay, but I had the feeling I was watching the videogame, Return to Castle Wolfenstein.  Aside from Hugo Weaving being awesome as the villain, it was important to see where/how Captain America fit with The Avengers.

I watched Thor while awaiting The Avengers release (kind of made sense).  I found that I actually enjoyed it more than I thought I would.  The presence of Hawkeye, Agent Phil Coulson and Sam L. in Thor highlighted the ties to The Avengers. And Tom Hiddleston, who was awesome as F. Scott Fitzgerald in Midnight in Paris, plays Loki, brilliantly.

I liked Eric Bana as The Hulk. I didn't like Ed Norton's Hulk, especially when I heard that he was so pissed that he didn't get cast over Bana that he decided to make his own. Crybaby. Mark Ruffalo is a good choice.

Samuel L. Jackson is always f**king cool but for some reason Nick Fury reminds me of a bald Elijah Price - a character played by Sam in another comic book type movie, Unbreakable.  Maybe it's just all that black leather...

No point in me really reviewing the trailer.  We know the drill, good guys vs. bad guys to save (or at least avenge) the earth.  This movie looks and feels like a winner and I'm too um... excited about it.

I can't wait to see it on the big screen and I hope that my local cinema has stocked enough red licorice.

Viewed: A Thousand Words

My recommendation for this one was:

"Even though the outcome of A Thousand Words seems pretty obvious, the perfect-length trailer, and watching some good old Eddie Murphy comedy, confirmed that I will likely see this one soon."

Yes, the outcome was obvious.  That said, I like Eddie Murphy and I like the intended sentiment of this film but as a whole it seemed too disjointed.  The first part of the film was silly, kind of fun Eddie slapstick.  The second part of this film was more introspective and Eddie's physical comedy, while present, slowed down.  The problem was that the supporting characters didn't clue in and the attempted comedy was just annoying.

A Thousand Words was kind of like Woody Allen's mythical creature the Roe:  it has the head of a lion and the body of a lion, but not the same lion.

VIEWED: The Cabin in the Woods

My recommendation for this one was:

"It would likely cost millions, if not hundreds of millions of dollars to build such an elaborate torture cabin. Who would build such a thing? It's either government or aliens because, frankly, supernatural forces just don't have the technology or financial resources to build that type of cabin in the woods. I'm really curious to see this one because there must be more here than meets the... um...trailer."

There was more then met the trailer...  much more.  I can't say how much without spoilers but I'll say that  maybe government and supernatural forces are closer than we think - at least in The Cabin in the Woods.

So what's the verdict?

It was a kind of parody on the genre, using humour and horror in a way that may make fans of the genre look at cliche horror films differently.  I guess one could say that Whedon and Goddard's, The Cabin in the Woods is a game changing film.  Whether that's good or bad is yet to be seen - when the next batch of horror films are made.

Definitely worth seeing, even out of curiosity.

Bernie

This is billed a "true story" and a "dark comedy."

So, while I'm watching the trailer I'm thinking "Throw Momma from the Train" and that some scenes are documentary style.  You know, when people sit around and say, "he was such a nice man." Or, "he was really quiet and kept to himself."  (though that's not Bernie...) Or, "I can't believe he would do something like that..."

You can see the similarities between Anne Ramsey's character from Throw Momma... and Shirley MacLaine's character in Bernie; nasty old joyless b*tches.

Jack Black is funny.  No doubt.  Jack Black is usually the same funny in his movies.  Gotta go with what works for you but, like a fad, it eventually passes.  I'm glad to see Jack Black in an "acting" role.  My favourite Jack Black movie is High Fidelity.  As entertaining and insightful as the film (and the awesome book by Nick Hornby) are, in a relatively minor (to the plot) supporting role, Jack Black steals almost every scene he's in.  Despite his many other duds, I like him.

What can you say about Shirley MacLaine that she hasn't already said in/on a spiritual, new agey book, or cruise - well, not so much lately.  She's getting old but it's always great to see her on screen. 

My favourite movie she was in is "Being There", it's based on a very short, very brilliant Jerzy Kozinski novel and starred Peter Sellers.  Rent it or download it, if you can.  I watched it recently and it is just as relevant today as it was when it was made 30 years ago.  I also read Kozinski's "The Painted Bird" in a Holocaust Literature course I took.  Great writer.  I think both the aforementioned books can be read more quickly than watching a two hour movie, if one were so inclined. It's because they are each less than 100 pages.

Bernie (Black) is the story of a mortician in a small Texas town who everybody loves.  Everybody except MacLaine's character.  Bernie tries hard to befriend her, does and, according to the synopsis, kills her and pretends she's alive.  So, could this "true story," be called, "weekend at Bernie's?"

Not sure if I'll see this one....

Safe

Two things struck me from this trailer...

Firstly, Safe starts out with a similar idea (not the same) but similar as "Don't Say a Word."  Secondly, holy crap, Jason Statham is one of the greatest on-screen tough guys ever!

Watching Statham in an action movie trailer is like drinking a gallon (they come in like 6 oz. cans) of Red Bull.

Even when his movies are bad, he is still so perfect in the role.  Why did I like the Transporter movies? Great plot and story?  Pfft, no. Statham.  He was hilarious as Monk (the crazy, chained, martial arts, killer lunatic) in Mean Machine (2001), which was a British remake of The Longest Yard, except soccer.  And so much better than the lousy Adam Sandler remake.  He was cool in The Italian Job and while I found his "sensitivity" in The Killer Elite hard to watch, he still kicked ass.  And Snatch was just a great all around movie.  

So, in Safe, he's a washed up MMA fighter who witnesses thugs chasing a little girl.  He intervenes and pisses off every corrupt group in New York City: the Russian mob, the Chinese mob, corrupt police officers...  as they hunt down this little girl who has numbers in her head.  I imagine that they are numbers to a "safe" that has money and/or ledgers and/or names and/or valuables that could incriminate everyone who is trying to get her.  But you know what?  Who cares?   Statham gets involved and this one bad ass will take on all the other bad asses and win. 

You know what, else?  And I can't believe I didn't think of this until this very moment.... Statham is the new Chuck Norris.

So, let's try this:

Jason Statham does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.  Jason Statham goes killing.

I like it!

If you can see Jason Statham, he can see you.  If you can't see Jason Statham you may be only seconds away from death.

This is perfect!

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Jason Statham.

Who doesn't think Jason Statham is the new Chuck Norris?  Think before you answer...

I am definitely seeing this film, soon.

The Three Stooges

I watched this trailer three times, each time looking for a trigger.  Reviewing a trailer, as stupid as it may seem, is about finding something in the trailer that sparks interest, touches an emotion, spawns a tangent (my favourite trigger), stirs the familiar, maybe relates to personal experience, or simply entertains.  Isn't that why we see a film?

Trailers that end up in the trailer park are often trailers that I've stared blankly at and felt nothing.  I hate to say this, but this trailer did nothing for me.  So why isn't it in the trailer park?  Well, sometimes it's not the trailer, it's me.  Heh, "it's not the trailer, it's me..."  Hmmm, maybe there could be a Beerbohm Award for that... I digress.

When I was a little kid, there were reruns of The Three Stooges on TV.  I once tried to hit my little brother on the head with a hammer because I saw it on an episode of The Three Stooges.  He was saved by my mom.  After that, we weren't allowed to watch The Three Stooges any more.  You still occasionally see people quoting the Stooges (not Iggy, though I've quoted him, too) or acting out Stooges slapstick, and I have said, in response to something stupid or clumsy, "Hey, Mo!"

Is this movie going to be funny in that old school slapstick sort of way, or will it just seem stupid? Speaking of stupid, maybe the makers of Jackass can pay homage to this in their next movie and hit each other in the heads with hammers... or will stupid kids (like me) try to hit each other in the heads with hammers?

I may be stupid and have been called a jackass, but I'm not Jackass stupid.

The synopsis for The Three Stooges reads:
Out to save their childhood home, only The Three Stooges could become embroiled in an oddball murder plot...while also stumbling into starring in a phenomenally successful TV reality show.

So, these modern day Stooges become embroiled in misadventures, like the old Stooges, but get their own reality show... like all the stooges that have reality shows today. 

Maybe this is the Farrelly reality TV parody...  I like that.

This is a Farrelly Brothers movie.  I just watched Hall Pass with the wife.  It was shit.  We own There's Something About Mary.  Shallow Hal was okay.  

Maybe this is just Dumb and Dumber 3?  Don't care much for that.

I rarely review a trailer that has so much going on and yet leaves me so empty.  There must be a reason for it...  You know what? I need to see this movie just to see if it's the trailer that sucks or just me...

VIEWED: Contraband

My recommendation for this one was:

"What's with movies that glorify criminal activity? Maybe it's just the notion that the average man, when pushed to the brink, can emerge as an action hero and save the world. I guess it helps when the average man is an ex-criminal and is a lethal fighter.

If there was a video store in my neighbourhood, I may have rented this one. If I come across it on-line, I might watch it."

The wife and I tried to see this one sometime in March.  It was sold out and we ended up seeing War Horse (please see VIEWED: War Horse).

Was it worth the wait?  Not in the least.  Firstly, every character in this film was either a criminal, an accessory to a crime, or an asshole.  And, while it was well acted for what it was, this film wasted acting talent on an unoriginal, mediocre story.  Ribisi, Wahlberg, Beckinsale, Foster! Give your heads a shake.  You guys are better than this.

This movie was so dull and predictable that, even the one or two unexpected moments were met with yawns and eyes rolling.

The Cabin in the Woods

The Cabin in the Woods is too obvious a title for this movie to be just another horror/slasher film about a bunch of people on vacation in a cabin in the woods.  A few things crossed my mind before seeing the trailer: Is this a joke? Is this a remake? Is this cabin by the lake and will Judd Nelson be the killer?

Whatever happened to Judd Nelson?  The Breakfast Club was a good movie.

Josh Whedon is the writer on this and, among his other works are the Firefly series and Serenity.  Loved them both.  This is a good sign.

The other writer, Drew Goddard, has worked with Whedon on several TV series and wrote, Cloverfield, which I also liked.  Another good sign.

For some reason the first part of the trailer made me draw comparisons to The Evil Dead movies - which were both creepy and hilarious.  The second part of the trailer made me think of a high tech version of Saw, only the people/victims in The Cabin in the Woods seem to be in the mess together.

So, why are these apparently normal young people being "punished/tortured" in a high tech prison disguised as a cabin in the woods?  Wrong place wrong time?  Government experiment?  Aliens, Scully, aliens? Seriously, that electronic web around the cabin was... well... not serious... it couldn't be.  Remember that whole suspension of disbelief thing?  Apply here.

It would likely cost millions, if not hundreds of millions of dollars to build such an elaborate torture cabin.  Who would build such a thing? It's either government or aliens because, frankly, supernatural forces just don't have the technology or financial resources to build that type of cabin in the woods.

I'm really curious to see this one because there must be more here than meets the... um...trailer.

 
 

VIEWED (finally): The Hunger Games

My recommendation for this one was:

"Holy, this movie is poised to break some box office records. It's based on a very successful trilogy, for young adults, written by Suzanne Collins. The hype is incredible.... To be honest, it looks very entertaining.... I liked what I saw in the trailer. It was very well done. I'll likely see this one, soon."

We tried to see The Hunger Games a few weeks ago but it was sold out. Imagine, a movie that is playing pretty much every hour on the hour at tens of thousands of movie theatres across the world would still be sold out.  We ended up going to Toys R Us. They still have Hot Wheels, and they were on sale!

Tonight we finally saw it.  In my trailer review I drew comparisons to novels, short stories and films.  While watching it, it did confirm the impressions I had,  and it also made me think of Lord of the Flies.  I guess because they were all young, divided into sort of clans and hunted the most noble of the group.


The wife commented that it was difficult to see a movie with so much hype behind it.  Sometimes your expectations let you down, sometimes you go in blindly because you've completely bought in to the hype. 


So, what's the verdict? We both became dizzy by some of the cinematograpy, at times it was slow moving and it's always difficult watching children die.  That said, The Hunger Games was well acted and well cast. Jennifer Lawrence was very compelling, as were all the young competitors. The supporting cast were outstanding. Stanley Tucci is alway great. Woody Harrelson always makes me laugh. Elizabeth Banks was priceless and we were surprised to see Lenny Kravitz. And of course, Donald Sutherland is larger than life... talk about screen presence.


While there was nothing new, nor original about the Hunger Games, I must say it was entertaining and strangley familiar... in a good way.


Glad we finally saw it.

VIEWED: Bad Ass

My recommendation for this one was:

"The whole Internet/social media aspect of Bad Ass gives the old theme a new take... kind of like teaching an old dog new tricks.... or judging a movie by its trailer.... This trailer was entertaining and that's often good enough for me."

The whole Internet/social media aspect was really like parsley on the plate... you notice it, sometimes eat it, but it isn't necessary.  This film didn't really attempt to provide anything new to the "average Joe hero who takes on injustice in a big way and actually wins" theme.  And while some parts were pretty unrealistic, Bad Ass is kind of fun and entertaining in a low-budget, made for TV kind of way. 

That said, Danny Trejo is the real deal bad ass (proof in his bio on IMDB). 

Bad Ass

If you are a regular on this blog, you know I go on the occasional rant about a few things...  You also may know that sometimes I rant about the same things.  In the past few months I've been ranting about ageing actors taking on bad ass roles to demonstrate that, just because they are ageing, they are still tough guys.  Some do it better than others but we see it in movies often.  We've seen it from Clint, and Bruce, and Liam, and Denzil and even Michael Caine.  I've qualified this rant by acknowledging that these top actors are probably pissed about ageing and, frankly, I'm pissed about my own ageing, too. So, I get it.


Based on the trailer, Bad Ass is the story of  a "senior citizen" (albeit in really good shape) that defends himself on a bus and ends up kicking the crap out of two young hoods.  The incident is captured on another passenger's video phone and posted on the internet.  The trailer tells us that this senior citizen has never used a keyboard, doesn't own a computer, nor has he ever been on the internet.  However, the popularity of the video makes him a hero and it appears that he becomes wrapped up in his new role as senior bad ass that he becomes a vigilante, of sorts.


When I was a teenager I was heading to a club to meet some friends. I was on a busy street and passed an alley where I heard a man yelling. I stopped to look and a guy was pushing a girl. I'm not sure why, but I was feeling righteous that day and entered the alley. I walked right up to the guy and said, "hey, leave her alone." He pushed me hard and I fell back on the concrete as he told me to "mind your own f**king business." As I was about to get up, both he and the girl left the alley. The funny thing was that they held hands as they walked away. In hindsight, I realized I could have been stabbed or shot. But what does one do to stop what they perceive as a crime? The police say to call the police, first. 


I really like vigilante movies.  I enjoy seeing regular people - generally underdogs - take matters into their own hands and seek out justice.  This theme is far from new, both on screen and in the real world.  On screen, the good guys usually win, or die for the right reasons.  In real life, I'm not sure if the good guys usually win.  When they do, we hear about it on the news.  But I think that's kind of like hearing about the 100 year old smoker - he's the exception and not the rule.


On film, though, the vigilante takes the law into his own hands and kicks ass... kicks bad ass.  The whole internet/social media aspect of Bad Ass gives the old theme a new take... kind of like teaching an old dog new tricks.... or judging a movie by its trailer....

This trailer was entertaining and that's often good enough for me.

VIEWED: 21 Jump Street

My recommendation for this one was:

"While I didn't find the trailer for 21 Jump Street interesting or amusing, I kind of think that the actual film will be at least mildly entertaining. I hope Depp's cameo is worth the cost of admission."

The first 20 or so minutes of this film were basically elements of the trailer - and pretty much edited the same way.  While this was a distraction at first, I was also struck by the fact that this film, from the onset, is poking fun at itself, the teen genre and even the hypocrisy that is sometimes found in political correctness.  I laughed out loud (that's LOL for the kids) many times.  

Channing Tatum plays dumb very well... almost too well.  Jonah Hill is very good as a whiny sidekick.  These two had decent chemistry.  You were right again, Dan the Man.

Funny movie.  Glad I saw it.  Yes, and Depp's cameo was worth the cost of admission.

VIEWED: Everyday Sunshine: The story of Fishbone

My recommendation for this one was...

"This band rocks out with their cocks out ALL THE TIME....
I continued to buy the CDs and listen in awe to their genius, while never understanding why they weren't more popular. I look forward to seeing Everyday Sunshine to learn more and once again, be inspired by the music of Fishbone."

Wow.  I don't know what to say...

You hear stories about unrealized potential and wasted talent... But the Fishbone story is about realized talent reaching full potential and elevating music beyond record company categories, labels and musical genres.  Even as teenagers these guys were amazing musicians! Sadly, as Angelo says, "money does matter..."  But he says this after 25 years of struggle and ultimately, record sales and revenues are how success is measured.

Fishbone offered the world a tremendous gift in the most honest and creative way possible, unfortunately the world just didn't understand it or wasn't ready for it.

Chris, Lev, this is one of the best music documentaries I've ever seen.  Beautiful, sad, inspiring and so f**king real! 

I know I'll watch it again...  In the meantime, all Fishbone is back on my everyday playlist.




 

The Raven

About seven years ago I decided to remove clutter from my life.  My crummy little apartment in downtown Toronto had more books in it than available wall space.  While I had read many of them, many sat on the shelves, unread and rarely noticed.  I seemed to collect books without a real purpose and often boxes of books would find me. Yet, for some reason I was proud of all my books and wanted to be surrounded by them.  I think they made me feel smart or at least to visitors, look smart.  I'm not really that smart.  Old downtown apartments get dusty and books and bookshelves need to be dusted. Dust and clutter, at least for me, are not a healthy environment.

It came to pass one day that I looked at my dusty, cluttered little apartment and asked myself, why do I care so much about books that have been either read once or twice or not at all?  It occurred to me that others could enjoy them. So, I went through all of them and boxed them with the intention of giving them away.  What I learned about boxing books is that the boxes have to be both strong and small, because books are damn heavy.  The process was kind of liberating and I managed to get all the books into several dozen boxes.  All books, except for a few that I couldn't bring myself to part with.  One was the complete works of Shakespeare (again, F**K OFF, Anonymous), the others included my Edward Albee collection and the complete works of Edgar Allan Poe.

When I was a kid I read the Tell Tale Heart.  I loved it so much that I memorized the entire short story.

"True, nervous, very, very dreadfully nervous I had been and am; but why will you say that I am mad? The disease had sharpened my senses..." 

I loved A Cask of Amontillado and The Pit and the Pendulum and The Fall of the House of Usher, and of course, The Raven.  I didn't see the 1963 film, The Raven.

John Cusack has starred in some of my favourite movies:  The Grifters, Grosse Pointe Blank, High Fidelity, not necessarily in that order.  There is something so real and likable about Cusack.  In every role he just seems natural, honest, sincere.  I haven't seen all of his films, but this role looks very different from the usual Cusack role.  He is actually playing Edgar Allan Poe, himself.  And yet, from the trailer the honesty that is very Cusack comes through in The Raven.

That said, the trailer for the film was not at all what I expected. Poe is often credited for creating the modern day, logic based detective. Some believe his work spawned Sherlock Holmes and other fictional detectives. The Raven is not about the Poe poem, it's more of the complete works told through a detective story. A detective story about Edgar Allan Poe helping the police find a killer that is killing people in the manner which people die in Poe stories.  Kind of cool and creepy.

I don't care if this film draws comparisons to recent Sherlock Holmes films (which I also enjoy), Cusack, Poe and "from the Director of V for Vendetta" (another one of my favourites!) are an easy sell for me to want to see The Raven.