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Monday, 19 March 2012

Being Flynn

Another first at Beerbohmtastic... a 2:26 trailer that didn't seem too long?  Actually, it didn't seem long enough!  And, potentially a 2013 Beerbohm Award nominee for Best Trailer. 

Why is Robert De Niro completely believable in every role?  With every role he takes on, he shows more and more why he is one of the greatest actors of our time. In Being Flynn, he is gentle, articulate, compelling, and very convincing in his "madness." He even says "all poets are mad."   It's funny because in certain roles, De Niro is not often what I would have pictured, but he never seems to disappoint. I love this guy - he's an icon.

Paul Dano was in a few things that I'd seen, including Little Miss Sunshine, which is one of the few films that I actually own (wife bought it, but still...). I like his intensity.

While Julianne Moore will always be Maude Lebowski to me, there is no doubt that she is a talented actress that likes to drop the laundry on occasion. That's good enough for me.

Being Flynn is the "true story" of a young man in search of self, having lost his father to absenteeism through artist's madness and losing his mother to untimely death.  From the trailer, we see the young man learning about his father through his father's writing and, despite the sense of loss, wanting to be a writer, too.  As an adult, his journey leads him to a homeless shelter where he is, in a way, reunited with his father. 

Any father/son making peace story is difficult to watch. I try to avoid them. The last scene of Field of Dreams when Costner has a "catch" with his dead father turns the fountain on for me every time. It's the only movie I ever cried at the end of. The final sequence of Big Fish, though I only got choked up, was a close second. There are few things more embarrassing to me than watching a man cry during or after a movie or being that man crying.

There is so much about Being Flynn that looks promising.  I know that the wife will want to see this, likely together.  I only hope that there is no embarrassment involved, niether mine nor anyone else in the cinema.

Friday, 16 March 2012

A Thousand Words

I think I actually smiled when the trailer for A Thousand Words ended.  I didn't smile because it was over - I know, I've been exceptionally critical lately.  Today, someone actually called me a curmudgeon, which made me cry and then they called me a crybaby...  I smiled at the trailer because the concept for the film seemed, dare I say it?  Fresh.   I think the fact that this trailer was only 1:31 enabled it to be fresh, as this is usually the point where a trailer starts to give away too much. 

A Thousand Words is the story of a slick, deceitful book publisher (Eddie Murphy) who seems to lie his way through even the most mundane situations - like waiting in line for coffee at the local Sixbucks.. I mean Starbucks.  When he goes too far and lies to some yoga, spiritual guru type about getting a book published, everything changes.  The spiritual guru type puts a sort of curse on Eddie - while this is not in the yogi spirit, it will certainly highlight a point.  That point?

According to the guru yogi guy, "our words have a profound effect on the universe."  And clearly Eddie's have had a profoundly negative effect.

So, the guru yogi guy somehow summons a tree on Eddie property.  He tells Eddie that he and the tree are connected.  Whenever Eddie speaks, leaves fall off the tree.  And the question is asked, "what happens when a tree loses all of it's leaves?" 

Now Eddie has about 1000 words left before apparent death so he must choose his words wisely.

It was really fun to watch Eddie Murphy in this trailer.  That manic, quick tongued Eddie in the first part of the trailer, followed by some great slapstick, physical comedy, was reminiscent of Eddie of old.

There is no doubt that Eddie is a talent.  To be honest, though, I think the last movie I saw him in was Bowfinger.  I didn't see any of the Shrek movies... not because of Eddie, though.  I think I missed them because, even though I like Mike Myers, rehashing of the Scottish accent (the dad in So I Married an Axe Murderer, Fat Bastard in the Austen Powers movies and Shrek) got kind of tired for me.  Mike is still a super talent, don't get me wrong.  Anyhow, I absolutely loved Bowfinger.

Even though the outcome of A Thousand Words seems pretty obvious, the perfect-length trailer, and watching some good old Eddie Murphy comedy, confirmed that I will likely see this one soon.

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

VIEWED: War Horse

A funny thing happened on the way to seeing Contraband at the Rainbow Cinema $2 Tuesdays during March break.  Aside from all the kids running around and the place being packed, Contraband was sold out.  The only movie with available seating was War Horse.  I almost made the wife return the tickets she bought while I was parking the car.

My recommendation for this one was...

"I hear horses are kind of dumb and that we give them too much credit. I'm kind of dumb, too, but not enough credit."

So, War Horse is like a series of connected vignettes strung together by a boy's love for a special horse.  The horse, Joey, touches everyone (everyone with a heart, that is) he crosses paths with.

Maybe I just wasn't in the mood for a slow moving story of triumph that manipulates emotions but is supposed to leave you feeling good in the end. 

War Horse was a decent movie and I can see how it was nominated for a best picture Oscar. The best part of it for me, however, was just before the drawn out end sequence the wife said, "let's get out of here."

Please note:  The views of the wife do not necessarily reflect the views of Beerbohmtastic

Tuesday, 13 March 2012

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen

And the first nominee for the 2013 Beerbohm Award for Worst Spoiler Trailer is.... this one.

Salmon Fishing in the Yemen has all the elements of a quirky, fun, heart-felt and heart-warming story.  It has an exotic destination.  Personal conflict. A government trying to exploit something good to cover up something bad, only to discover the good is really good. There's an Arab Sheik who doesn't embody the movie stereotype - he's a decent person who cares about his people (you know, like most of us).  There's an example of different people from different cultures rallying together for a good cause. There's humour and even a love story.  And, there's Ewan McGregor.

Is this guy one of the most underrated actors of our time?  He has made some decent films and has made some mediocre films better just because of his acting ability.  And, c'mon, was he not priceless in Big Fish?

For the first minute or so of this trailer I'm thinking, wow, this is a sort of original idea in the spirit of The Milagro Beanfield War.  And then, BAM!  The trailer gives away everything in the next minute.  This trailer could even surpass The Help as all-time (7 months of Beerbohmtastic) worst spoiler trailer ever.

So here's what the trailer tells us:  Pretty lady approaches stuffy fisheries beaurocrat (Ewan) to discuss shipping salmon to Yemen because a Sheik feels that sport fishing would be a good thing for his people.  Stuffy beaurocrat thinks it's a dumb idea.  This in itself is a funny and quirky concept with a sincere purpose.  Meanwhile back at British intellegence there's a major screw up by the military in the middle east and intellegence needs a "feel good" story to latch onto in order to create a diversion.  Typical public relations crap, but believable.   So the government catches wind of the salmon story and forces stuffy beaurocrat (and pretty lady) to make it happen. 

Stuffy Ewan meets Sheik and is moved by the goodwill of providing "hope" for his people.  Ewan and pretty lady team up to make it happen.  They fall in love (they are actually shown holding hands in the trailer).  The salmon are delivered (we also see this in the trailer).  And everybody is happy and appears to get what they want.

The only mystery will be what obstacles they have to overcome because we already know that they were successful - at least that's what the trailer implies.

When I reviewed the trailer for The Help I said,

"So the meat of this film was handed as a two-minute appetizer, while the two-hour filler will be presented, following the cost of admission, as the main course.   That's like paying $50 for bruschetta and $7 for lobster."

Only this time it's $7 for salmon.

This is likely a date night movie, but not my choice.

Friday, 9 March 2012

VIEWED: Safe House

My recommendation for this one was...

"I doubt Safe House will wow me, but it may keep me entertained as I chow down on popcorn and other overpriced cinema treats, while I stare down at my lack of abs. And, if Ryan Reynolds can avoid being Ryan Reynolds and show more acting ability than skin, Safe House may even surprise me..."

Well, while I wasn't surprised by the film, Denzil is always good, the action was okay and the story was typical conspiracy cliché, I was surprised by Ryan Reynolds.  As annoying as he usually is, he was very good in this role and, I hate to admit it, but he actually showed more acting ability than skin.  I will now stop slamming you, Ryan.  Nice job, dude.

Thursday, 8 March 2012

John Carter

I hadn't heard anything about John Carter until I had lunch yesterday with a good friend who told me about it and that it's based on the work of Edgar Rice Burroughs - creator of Tarzan.  Thanks, MB.

Since yesterday, I've come across trailers and reviews and forums, all by accident - except for the trailer, which is the point of this blog...

My first thought before viewing the trailer and doing some homework was: this was written by Burroughs in the 1930's.  It was a series called, John Carter of Mars.  At the time, it was likely considered original, bringing together uncommon themes like westerns and science fiction.  During the process, the recent film Cowboys and Aliens popped into my head.  Did Favreau read, John Carter on Mars?  Favreau is a smart guy, I'll bet he did.

My second thought was: will what was original in the 1930's be fresh and exciting today?  That's really the key, isn't it? Well, watching the trailer for John Carter was like watching the trailer for 300 or Immortals or Clash of the Titans, with a slight Stargate (the original film, not the TV show) feel... so, not really fresh.

That said, this is a Disney film.  To me, Disney means big budget, lots of special effects and a story that is more family friendly - that said, Disney also made Something Wicked This Way Comes and it scared the hell out of me... and, wait a minute, Bambi's mom dies in the beginning of the movie.  The fox from The Fox and the Hound is orphaned.  The cats from the Aristocats are homeless.  Olivia's dad is kidnapped by the evil Rattagan in The Great Mouse Detective.  Geez, there's a whole whack of manipulation here...  forget the latter and let's focus on the special effects.

Yep, looks to be many special effects.  I like special effects.  Special effects, good.

John Carter is about John Carter, a civil war vet, cowboy, who wakes up on Mars in the middle of another civil war.  He's the hero and wins the war for the good guys.  Americans are tough that way.

Mark Strong is in this one.  I think Mark Strong is the bad guy.  He's always a bad guy, except in Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (please see my review).  I was wrong about that one.

John Carter is like a cowboy version of Conan the Barbarian fighting with Martians that sort of fit the Martian stereotype because they are green, though the princess looks human, fighting against Mark Strong and not-so Martian looking creatures, except for the monsters and the flying machines.  And John Carter can somehow fly, sort of - maybe that's how he single-handedly won the civil war. There are sci-fi weapons and swords and Roman style arenas where gladiators fight other monsters and there are motivational speeches where armies cheer and some characters look like Jar Jar Binks, but green, from Star Wars Episode One.  Whew, there seems to be too much to keep track of when I just want to be manipulated and entertained by special effects.

I will likely see this out of curiosity. 

Tuesday, 6 March 2012

The Lorax

The assumption for this is that we all know the score
And is overshadowed by glitz and glamour and more
I had to Google to refresh my remembering
Of the Lorax from childhood who tried to stop us from "timber" ing

But the trailer brought back the love of Dr. Suess
who gives us wuzzles and fuzzles and feffer-feffs and moose
who opens our minds and our hearts with new verse
and embraces us with laughter, confusion and bursts

Of things that are wildly and beautifully off-centre
he acts as a teacher, a friend and a mentor
where imagination is something shared by all
for all of our creatures, no matter how small

And then there's DeVito, oh Danny, my friend
who will continue to entertain and amuse 'till the end
with voice and presence much bigger than his frame
his accomplishments and stature well beyond just his name

But trailer for this, the Lorax, you see
Is colourful, bouncy, too shiny for me
A message is sent, in the trailer not clear
and left me wanting not popcorn, but beer

Not all know the message of the Lorax here-in
where environmental - ism must surely begin
to plant a tree from each one that is torn
to replenish the forest so another is born

I know I will see it but when, I'm not certain
perhaps when my son opens the four-year-old curtain
but Suess in his brilliance makes us not want to grow-up
and I hope that the film makers don't f**k this one up

VIEWED: Goon

My recommendation for this one was:

"While the movie may not do the sport of Hockey justice, I might see this because I like Hockey and it looks like a harmless laugh."

Yes, the film was a harmless laugh.  If you like hockey or sports movies, and this is no different than any other underdog sports story, then this is 1 hr. and 20 minutes that are not completely wasted.  Sean William Scott played the lead character perfectly, so much so that he didn't really need to do much.  A nice change from his usual smart-ass roles. The rest of the cast were good, too, and Liev's "Canadian" accent was hilarious, eh?"

There were some laugh-out-loud moments and it was entertaining enough.  Combined with all the red licorice I ate watching, I found Goon to be light and mildly satisfying.   

 

Monday, 5 March 2012

VIEWED (by the wife): The Change Up

My trailer recommendations was:

"Yet another body swapping film. Seriously?  I can't keep track of how many of these have been made over the years.  Maybe the makers of this film can make a film about Woody Allen's mythical creature, the Roe.  It has the head of a lion and the body of a lion, but not the same lion.

As much as I like Bateman, there is nothing appealing to me about Ryan Reynolds acting like, well, Ryan Reynolds.  He’s a terrible actor with physical charm (can't take that away from him) and an annoying voice. 

Pass."

The wife watched this one on the weekend.

"How was it?" I asked.

"Stupid."  She responded. 

Please note: The views of the wife do not necessarily reflect the views of Beerbohmtastic.




Sunday, 4 March 2012

Here are your 2012 Beerbohm Award Winners!



The Beerbohm Awards are Oscars for movie trailers. In the 2 or so minutes it takes to watch a trailer, a major decision is made. The decision whether or not to see a film and to, really, support the work of the film making team. This puts much weight on the trailer.

In the 7 months that Beerbohmtastic has been reviewing movie trailers, I have made observations that I'm sure many others have as well. Some trailers are just too long. Some give away so much that there is almost no point in seeing the film - there's a Beerbohm Award for that. Some are so misleading that, good or bad, they don't do the film justice - there's a Beerbohm Award for that, too. Still, some trailers are really good and some are just plain bad - two more Beerbohm Award categories.

I'd like thank those who sent in nominations, and thanks also to those who send in comments and suggestions. And thank you to all who read the blog. I very much appreciate you taking the time to pop in for a quick review and, hopefully, some amusement.

The winners are selected by a panel (the wife) and viewer comments and suggestions. The only criteria is that I had to have viewed and/or reviewed the trailer. For 2013, I'm looking for corporate sponsors or a good animator to produce an actual awards show, whether live action or animated. If you're interested, let's talk.

So, without further doo doo (thanks Cap'n'Dave), here are the winners of the 2012 (Inaugural) Beerbohm Awards for Movie Trailers:

BEST TRAILER

The Best Trailer Award is given to the trailer which truly teases, entertains and leaves the viewer wanting more.

The nominees for best trailer are:

Red State

Apollo 18

The Descendants

Contagion

The Debt

And the Beerbohm Award winner for Best Trailer is:

RED STATE

It brilliantly created a false sense of what this film really was and continued to shock, weaving in comic relief, while leaving the viewer in a state of awe... a red state, perhaps?
And the movie was great, too.

Congratulations!


WORST TRAILER

The Worst Trailer Award is given to the trailer that left the viewer (me) annoyed,
so much so that it had to be reviewed and not let off the hook easily by dumping it in the trailer park.

The nominees for worst trailer are:

Melancholia

A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas 3D

Jack and Jill

Shark Night 3D

This Means War

And the Beerbohm Award winner for Worst Trailer is:

SHARK NIGHT 3D

Fresh water sharks with..um..metaphorical laser beams on their heads...

Congratulations, I guess.



MOST MISLEADING TRAILER

The Most Misleading Trailer goes to the trailer that misrepresented the film.
It applies to either a good trailer for a bad film or bad trailer for a good film.

The nominees for the most misleading trailer are:

Carnage

The Grey

Dream House

Reel Steel

Chronicle

And the Beerbohm Award winner for Most Misleading Trailer is:

CARNAGE


This trailer had all the makings of a brilliant, character-driven, multi-layered, Whose Afraid of Virgina Woolfe-ish conflict. It has a great cast and is directed by Roman Polanski. Though I'd heard that the play was excellent, the movie failed completely on all levels and was a waste of a talented cast and a waste of my time.  (This Beerbohm goes to a good trailer for a bad film).

Congratulations, I guess.



WORST SPOILER TRAILER

The Worst Spoiler Trailer goes to the trailer that gives so much away
that there was no point seeing the movie (even though I may have).

The nominees for the worst spoiler trailer are:

The Help

Abduction

Straw Dogs

Monte Carlo

The Whistleblower

Final Destination 5

And the Beerbohm Award winner for Worst Spoiler Trailer is:


THE HELP


This trailer gave away the entire story and left very little else. While, at the time of the review, I did acknowledge my respect for the actual story and even suggested that it would likely be Oscar worthy, the trailer was the worst spoiler trailer of the year. While the wife enjoyed the film, I couldn't bring myself view it.

Congratulations, I guess.



BEST MUSIC IN A TRAILER

The Best Music in a Trailer goes to the trailer with either the best overall music or song.

The nominees for the best music in a trailer are:

Queen Bitch by David Bowie (Young Adult trailer)

The Immigrant Song, performed by Trent Reznor (The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo - 2011, trailer - David Fincher version)

No Church in the Wild, performed by Jay-Z and Kanye West (Safe House trailer)

And the Beerbohm Award for Best Music or Song in a Trailer is:


The Immigrant Song, performed by Trent Reznor (The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo - 2011, trailer - David Fincher version)


While the other trailer for this film merely showed how close the film was to the original,
the David Fincher trailer literally, rocked. Perfect choice of music.


Congratulations!

BEST ONE-LINER IN A TRAILER

The Best One-Liner in a trailer is the line, or words, spoken within the context of the 2 minute trailer that stand out to the point of being memorable... not an easy feat.

And the nominess for Best One-Liner in a Trailer are...

Snow White and the Huntsman:
It once pained me to know that I am the cause of such despair...
but now their cries give me strength.
Spoken by Charlize Theron

Conan the Barbarian:
I live, I love, I slay... I am content
Spoken by Jason Momoa

Red State:
I think it's the use of the word 'repeat' that makes this work, everytime
Spoken by Kevin Pollack

50/50:
A tumor? Me? That doesn't make sense. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I recycle.
Spoken by Joseph Gordon-Levitt

The Avengers:
If we can't protect the earth, you can be damn sure we'll avenge it.
Spoken by Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man)


And the Beerbohm Award winner for Best One-Liner in a Trailer is:



Conan the Barbarian:


I live, I love, I slay... I am content
Spoken by Jason Momoa

No words could be more true to the spirit of the character and the film, and make you laugh.


Congratulations!





Congratulations to all nominees and winners!

Please email your nominations for 2013 to beerbohmtastic@gmail.com

Thanks for reading!

Wednesday, 29 February 2012

GOON

I think I meant to review this trailer when I reviewed the trailer for Gone.  Gone is already over for me.  Goon, however... 

The thing about hockey is that it is so much more than violence and fighting.  It's actually a beautiful and flowing game played at a fast pace and it requires great skill, finesse, vision, instincts and a high level of physical ability and mental toughness.  But that's not what this movie is about.  Based on the trailer, this is one not so bright man's indoctrination into the not-so-subtleties of hockey... um fighting.  And by fluke...well, sort of.

I heard somewhere that this is the Tie Domi story.  Tie Domi played in the NHL for 15 years, mostly with the Toronto Maple Leafs.  He was considered a "goon" or enforcer, but was a pretty fast skater and made his presence felt on the ice.  He was also a fan favourite.  Off the ice, I know for a fact that he was involved in charitable work, especially working with children with disabilities.  The flip side is a story that was told to me.  My friend, Rob, was meeting a girl he was interested in at a bar.  At the bar was Tie Domi and Peter Ing.  Peter was a young goalie in the Maple Leafs organization and Peter also liked the girl.  Rob tells me that Peter and Tie saw Rob and the girl sitting at a table, joined them with two pitchers of beer and Tie "accidentally" spilled one of the pitchers on Rob.  True or not, I've known a few hockey players in my day and this didn't seem out of character. 

Goon is the story of the black sheep in a Jewish family who received more brawn than brain at birth and, by chance, becomes a minor league hockey player.  The trailer had a sort of a Slapshot feel.  Slapshot is THE fun goon hockey movie. Liev Schreiber, while I was surprised to see him in this one, is awesome in every role I've seen him in.  He actually looks the part of an ageing hockey tough guy - the handlebar moustache and mullet are perfect.  Sean William Scott plays this one innocently dim and, at least in the trailer he's pretty funny.  It was also funny to see another American Pie co-star, Eugene Levy, play the disappointed Jewish dad (I don't think Tie Domi is Jewish, I think he's Albanian).  Guilt combined with muscle is a sure fire recipe for lashing out at others. 

While the movie may not do the sport of Hockey justice, I might see this because I like Hockey and it looks like a harmless laugh.

Saturday, 25 February 2012

VIEWED: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy

My recommendation for this one was...

"While you expect a smart tale of espionage, treason and betrayal from the mind of John LeCarre, the trailer looked really, really dry. I was actually thirsty when it ended.

Despite the dry trailer, I have no doubt that Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy will be an entertaining, multi-layered and suspenseful story that will keep the audience guessing as to who the mole is until the very end.

I think Mark Strong is the mole."


Everything about this film was 70's authentic, from the clothes to the hair to the attitudes to the music and sets and even the general feel. 

But seriously, who wants to hear 70's men talk in "circus" code for 2 hours while nothing really happens?  I shouldn't say "nothing" because they catch the mole and it isn't Mark Strong. 

Gary Oldman is a great actor though his performance in this film was understated to the point of boring.  If he wins an Oscar it should be for his brilliant work as an actor and not for this role because he has done much better.

Let's just say that this movie is as dry as the trailer and I'm still thirsty. 

Thursday, 23 February 2012

Tinker Tailer Soldier Spy

I know this film has been out for a while, but the wife and me and a few friends are seeing it tomorrow night so I figured I'd review the trailer.  I was actually surprised that this movie was still playing.  For the record, I wanted to see Safe House because it was the least unfavourable trailer review I'd written in a while. Yeah, sad, I know.

The trailer for this one was a slow whodunit teaser.  Watching the trailer you learn there's a high-level mole in MI6 - or whatever the intelligence service is - and you see snippets of spy stuff happening.  I trust the movie will be 2 hours of spy stuff until the mole is revealed.  While you expect a smart tale of espionage, treason and betrayal from the mind of John LeCarre, the trailer looked really, really dry.  I was actually thirsty when it ended.

Mark Strong is in this one. 

The first time I saw Gary Oldman, he was opposite Tim Roth in the film adaptation of the Tom Stoppard play, Rosengrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.  If you haven't seen it, go rent it, or torrent it.  It's hilarious in a Shakespearean way (again, f**k off Anonymous).  While these two bumbling servants of Hamlet (yes, Shakespeare's play) float along cluelessly, the actual story of Hamlet is going on in the background.  Oldman and Roth are genius.

Mark Strong always plays the bad guy in movies.

Gary Oldman is brilliant and versatile and it's great to see him in a leading role.  He's made tons of movies and I haven't seen them all, or most for that matter but... Who didn't love his Rastaman killer in True Romance?  Who didn't love his psycho corrupt cop in The Professional?  As Dracula in Bram Stoker's Dracula?  He stole every seen, even when he wasn't on screen.  He even played Sid Vicious in Sid and Nancy. 

Despite the dry trailer, I have no doubt that Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy will be an entertaining, multi-layered and suspenseful story that will keep the audience guessing as to who the mole is until the very end.

I think Mark Strong is the mole.

Gone

You'd think that Jennifer Carpenter would have had enough of serial killers.  She's been playing Dexter's sister for six seasons, now.  Did I mention that I thought season 6 of Dexter was a complete and total waste of time, given that I really liked all 5 previous seasons?  Here is my response to a close friend who thought season 6 of Dexter was "awesome."

"Yeah, Norman Bates was his own mother... no wait... Travis was Dr. Gellar... no wait... mother was in his head... no wait... meticulous clarity from a delusional mind...  no wait... Dexter finds and loses God because God took his friend and Dex loses the code... no wait... He changes the code... no wait, what's the code? Deb loves Dexter...ahh, sick considering that they were together in real life... and season closes on cliffhanger, which it never did in the past but had to do this season or nobody would watch the next season..... F**KING DISAPPOINTING SOAP OPERA NONSENSE, categorically speaking :)"

Gone. My first impression of the trailer, after seeing Amanda Sigfried's wide-set eyes was:  beware of women with wide-set eyes.  I've known a few and, in my experience, there is some form of crazy behind them.  Not that we judge on Beerbohmtastic...  

One of the nominees for a Beerbohm Award is Dream House, in the category of Most Misleading Trailer.  For some reason Gone made me think of Dream House.  Dream House was a tragic story about a delusional mind who couldn't come to grips with his past to the point of blocking it out.  His past and present collide and, in the end there is a level of closure, albeit still very tragic.

Though a slightly different story, Gone looks very similar.  Wide-eyed Amanda, who looks kind of delusional anyway, believes that her sister has been abducted by the same person that abducted her a few years earlier.  From what I get from the trailer, the police didn't believe that Amanda was abducted and she was put in an psychiatric institution OR they don't believe that Amanda's sister was abducted and they try to put her in a psychiatric institution OR both.  The point is that nobody believes her so she believes that she has to find the truth.

Finding the truth will answer: are Amanda's experiences real or is she completely delusional.  In Dream House there was a touch of reality combined with much delusion until the reality came crashing down.  In Gone, I suspect this point to be somewhat similar, but there has to be some kind of major twist.  The twist can't be that she was right all along because the trailer implies this when she talks to who we are made to think is the killer.   If that's the case then the only reason to watch the movie is to find out how she proves her story.

It seems too simple, which is annoying because the trailer tells us as much.  Maybe there is more?  Maybe she's the killer and she abducts her sister and she's messing with the police and the psychiatric profession and her friends.  And hopefully, Jennifer Carpenter doesn't walk in on Amanda killing someone like she does in Dexter.  But, you know, Amanda does have wide-set eyes...

I'll likely watch this one on-line, out of curiosity, if I come across it.

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Ghost Rider: The Spirit of Vengeance

When is a comic book movie not a comic book movie?  When it stars Nicholas Cage? 

As one who loves comic book movies, even if I didn't read the comic book, it pains me to avoid seeing the films.  Case in point: The Green Lantern.  No need for me to rant again about Ryan.  It's time for another rant.  Hello, Mr. Cage.  No, I didn't see the first Ghost Rider.

Damn it, Nick!  You've made some great movies! You vs. yourself and having to take on the lone rider of the apocolypse in Raising Arizona? That was played beautifully.  Moonstruck? Even though you played the same type of doofus, you were still believable.  Leaving Las Vegas? Good one, too.  Adaptation and Matchstick Men showed that you actually had acting chops and you know what? They were good movies.   The wife loved Captain Corelli's Mandolin, which I refer to as Captain Crunch's Violin (or more appropriately, fiddle). Shit, for what it was, I enjoyed Lord of War.

Nicholas Cage is another in a long endless line of aging actors who need to be super heroes (in this case anti-heroes)... but I've done this rant already, too....

So, now that Nick has defeated the lone rider of the apocolypse, he IS the lone rider of the apocolypse in Ghost Rider.  And it only took 20 years!  In between (and after) he's made a ton of movies... many of which I just haven't seen.

The thing about Cage is that I don't know if he makes a movie or he has the clout to do whatever he wants.  Help me out here, readers, am I way off base about this guy? What do you think of Nicholas Cage?  Click on "comments" below or just email me at beerbohmtastic@gmail.com

Okay.  The trailer for Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance shows our anti-hero coming out of hiding in order to prevent the devil from taking the soul of his son... or something like that.  So, our bad guy who is good has to take on the ultimate bad guy and his minions.  And, from the look of the trailer, our bad guy who is good will defeat the devil/satan/the head dude of the underworld - or at least make a deal to save his son.  Very few, if any, can beat the devil unless of course you go down to Georgia...

Speaking of which, I'd rather listen to the Charlie Daniels Band play the Devil went down to Georgia - great song, by the way - and picture the battle in my head then have to endure 95 minutes of another shite adaptation of a comic book movie.

You've made some good ones, Nick, but I doubt this is one of them.

Sunday, 19 February 2012

VIEWED: Underworld Awakening

I'd seen the trailer for this one, unintentionally several times. It was placed as an add on, of sorts, after many other trailers that I intentionally viewed.  The policy at Beerbohmtastic is to review by choice or request.

So, while I didn't review the trailer, I watched the film.  A first at Beerbohmtastic.

That said, I like Kate Beckinsale and enjoyed the only Underworld film I'd seen.  Underworld Awakening, however, was a waste of 75 minutes.

To quote the wife, in her review of Colombiana, how was Underworld Awakening?

"It was shit."

Saturday, 18 February 2012

Here are your nominees for the Inaugural Beerbohm Awards for Movie Trailers



And the nominees for the 2012 Inaugural Beerbohm Awards are:

BEST TRAILER

The Best Trailer Award is given to the trailer which truly teases, entertains and leaves the viewer wanting more.

The nominees for best trailer are:

Red State

Apollo 18

The Descendants

Contagion

The Debt


WORST TRAILER

The Worst Trailer Award is given to the trailer that left the viewer (me) annoyed,
but not annoyed enough to dump it in the trailer park.

 
The nominees for worst trailer are:

Melancholia

A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas 3D

Jack and Jill

Shark Night 3D

This Means War


 
MOST MISLEADING TRAILER

The Most Misleading Trailer goes to the trailer that misrepresented the film.
It applies to either a good trailer for a bad film or bad trailer for a good film.

The nominees for the most misleading trailer are:

Carnage

The Grey

Dream House

Reel Steel

Chronicle


WORST SPOILER TRAILER

The Worst Spoiler Trailer goes to the trailer that gives so much away
that there was no point seeing the movie (even though I may have).

The nominees for the worst spoiler trailer are:


The Help

Abduction

Straw Dogs


Monte Carlo


The Whistleblower


Final Destination 5



BEST MUSIC IN A TRAILER

The Best Music in a Trailer goes to the trailer with either the best overall music or song.

The nominees for the best music in a trailer are:

Queen Bitch by David Bowie (Young Adult trailer)

The Immigrant Song, performed by Trent Reznor (The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo - 2011, trailer - David Fincher version)

No Church in the Wild, performed by Jay-Z and Kanye West (Safe House trailer)

BEST ONE-LINER IN A TRAILER

Snow White and the Huntsman:
It once pained me to know that I am the cause of such despair...
but now their cries give me strength.
Spoken by Charlize Theron

Conan the Barbarian:
I live, I love, I slay... I am content
Spoken by Jason Momoa

Red State:
I think it's the use of the word 'repeat' that makes this work, everytime
Spoken by Kevin Pollack

50/50:
A tumor? Me? That doesn't make sense. I don't smoke, I don't drink, I recycle.
Spoken by Joseph Gordon-Levitt

The Avengers:
If we can't protect the earth, you can be damn sure we'll avenge it.
Spoken by Robert Downey Jr. (Iron Man)

Congratulations to all nominees.  Winners will be announced the week after the Oscars!


Thursday, 16 February 2012

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

This one is by request...

Okay, the accomplishments of Abraham Lincoln are well documented... not to mention the nickname "honest Abe."  The dude is righteous.  He played an important role in American history (thanks historyking.com) during the Civil war. His heroic efforts helped preserve the Union.

Other accomplishments include:
  • The Proclamation of Emancipation which was responsible for ending slavery in the southern states.
  • Inspiring speeches, including The Gettysburg Address.
  • He is often  quoted. My favourite being: It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool then to open ones mouth and remove all doubt.
  • The Homestead Act, which allowed the poorer people in the east to get land in the western part of the country.
  • The Morrill Act was passed to ensure that every state had an agricultural and mechanical college. The National Banking Act helped all the banks to be nationalized and get connected through networks in the United States.
  • When Lincoln took office the country was in a chaotic state in the Civil War. His excellent foreign policy made sure that America did not come under attack from any foreign countries because of the unrest in the country due to the Civil War. 
  • He is the role model for every president that gets elected to the Oval Office.
Sorry for the history lesson (thanks again historyking.com) but of all of this man's great accomplishments, perhaps the most important is:  Vampire Hunter?

I can see how it would be a cool period piece - I liked the look and feel of Sleepy Hollow. And, you expect a dark, perhaps even twisted perspective from Tim Burton. The shorter of the two trailers (the longer one is really, really cheesy and looks almost spoof-ish - the wife says that the trailer on Youtube is actually a trailer for the book) is the better of the two and bills: From the director of Wanted, Timur Bekmambetov...  Wanted was an interesting Clive Barker-ish concept that had a decent cast, good action and all the elements of cool... but was very disappointing.  I'd compare it to blue balls.  He's also done other vampire things, but I haven't seen them.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter is based on the novel by Seth Grahame-Smith and is written in "found footage" style... I should say "found secret diaries and letters" style. Interesting concept. 

So, will this be a Tim Burton film that looks beautiful and has a tongue-in-cheek element like Sleepy Hollow or will it take itself too seriously? Or is it just an odd, albeit interesting attempt at breathing new life into vampires on film after they were almost destroyed at the box office (and by the Twilight Shite) in the last 10 years by zombies. 

You'd be pretty hard pressed to find a dude more righteous than Abe.  If he can end slavery, why not kill vampires, too?

I'm too curious to miss this one.

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

This Means War

I must be getting old.

Suspension of disbelief should allow a viewer to accept the unbelievable in a film.

The use of government resources, weapons, gadgets and personnel, for personal purposes is corruption.

The trailer tells us that two best buddy, highly dangerous CIA agents discover that they are dating the same girl.  Then it becomes a spy vs. spy (which was funny in all its brevity in Mad Magazine) attempt to sabotage the other, apparently utilizing all of their training.

Why would two, clearly attractive and deadly CIA agents who happen to be best friends, wage war on one another for a women?  And after tens of millions of dollars are spent on destruction - a lot of shit blows up in the trailer - is the moral of the story going to be that no women should get in the way of friendship?  Are we going to learn that they decide to team up and pull a prank on her because she can't choose?  So, is it just me or is this just another stupid premise for blowing shit up (and I like shit blowing up)?  Even if the prize is a clueless, albeit immensely talented and hot, Reese Witherspoon?

While the film could potentially be funny, in a completely mindless cartoonish sort of way, I'm having trouble with the suspension of disbelief thing - i.e. these idiots would be sent to Guantanamo for using CIA resources.

The thing is: when something looks so blatantly stupid that it pisses me off, I can't help but think that I might be missing something.  Like maybe, could this be a metaphor for friendship? How about for trust?  How about the virtues of monogamy and how all else is too complicated?  Shit, I if you don't already know this stuff, I'm sure you could learn it from Barney or Dora or whomever the kiddie role model of the month is. 

I am so annoyed by this trailer that I think I will actually see This Means War.  It's fun being wrong, but even more fun being right.

Saturday, 11 February 2012

VIEWED: Chronicle

My recommendation for this one was....

"If done well, Chronicle could be a really cool examination of the good/evil struggle. It could also be like watching a train wreck. Like the morbid fascination of staring at the scene of a bloody wreckage, I am interested in seeing Chronicle for the same reason."

Yes, it was done well.  Yes, it was a cool examination of right vs. wrong.  Yes, it was like watching a train wreck.  Yes, I found it entertaining, and even kind of sad.  And yes, I enjoyed it.

The coolest thing about Chronicle is that it's only 75 minutes long, which means: like the movie or not, it doesn't take up too much of your time.

Friday, 10 February 2012

Safe House

Talk about opposite leading men in this one... Denzel Washington is an Oscar winning actor who has made some great, or at the very least, interesting movies.  From the first time I saw him on screen in, A Soldier's Story, I knew he would be a big star. 

Didn't I write something recently about ageing actors wanting to be action heroes?  No need to rant about that again... here's a new rant...

Then you have Ryan Reynolds.  I've never seen him in anything that has been remotely entertaining, most often due to his acting.  Though I love comic book movies, I refused to see The Green Lantern because of him.  I hear it was shite, anyway. The only thing this guy does well is take off his shirt (props for using your looks to make a career; no shame in that).  Otherwise, from his voice to his on-screen arrogance, he must be someone important's nephew, because I don't know how or why he gets cast so often.

He's kind of like a modern version of that other shirt removing, nephew of someone - also a dud - Steve Guttenberg.  Remember him? Cocoon and the Police Academy movies?  Meh.

Regardless, the trailer for Safe House was entertaining in a big budget, action movie sort of way.   It looks like another variation of every rogue spy on the run movie, but this one combines the "buddy picture" element (you know, a mis-matched pair having to work together for the sake of survival).  Heh, the buddy element... the dog from Turner and Hooch may not be as good looking as Ryan Reynolds, but is just as good an actor.  Sorry Ryan, while I respect that you've made a successful career, I'm just not a fan.

Did the studios think that a male rogue spy movie (when was the last one? way back in 2011?) would be a refreshing change from the last two female rogue spy pictures, Colombiana and Haywire? Are the studios that organized or is the strategy simply to produce what sells and make a profit?  I ask a dumb question. I guess if it's entertaining to the public it doesn't matter.

I doubt Safe House will wow me, but it may keep me entertained as I chow down on popcorn and other overpriced cinema treats, while I stare down at my lack of abs.  And, if Ryan Reynolds can avoid being Ryan Reynolds and show more acting ability than skin, Safe House may even surprise me...

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Nine Queens (Nueve reinas) 2001 - Argentina

A very close friend of mine leads a monthly movie night called "edible cinema."  Each month a different host  picks a film and a meal to go with the film.  I used to be invited monthly, but I think because I haven't yet attended, the invitations have become less frequent. 

Continuing with the "edible cinema" theme, as the film is Argentinian, so will be the food and wine.  I don't know anything about Argentinian food and the only Argentinian wine that I know and have had many glasses of is, Fuzion.  Like many of my favourite wines, it's cheap and cheerful. 

As I will likely not attend - sorry kids - my contribution is to review this film in my usual way.

Nine Queens is not a movie about nine cross-dressing female impersonators - just so you know.  From the trailer, Nine Queens is about two con artists who team up to run small time scams on a variety of marks (I think "mark" is the term for victim in con artist lingo).  They decide to go for a bigger con, one involving a collection of nine stamps, all with a queen on them (hence the title).  Well, as in all caper movies with a sense of humour, the complicated scam comes with complications.... all of which look kind of funny, though I'm not sure if this is a comedy.

The trailer kind of made me think of that Guy Ritchie movie, Snatch, which came out a year earlier.  Snatch is still one of my favourites, so if this is half as good, then it'll be entertaining.  My absolute favourite work of Guy Ritchie is http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X13akB5-_kA.  It's 8:57 min. of pure comic genius - and bless Madonna for being such a great sport.

That said, Nine Queens (Nueve reinas), looks like a fun movie.  I hope I get a chance to see it.

Bueno appetit, my friends.

Wednesday, 8 February 2012

The Inaugural Beerbohm Awards, In recognition of movie trailers...

In the spirit of this blog, I introduce you to The Beerbohm Awards:  in recognition of movie trailers.  Please note that the Beerbohms are awarded only to movie trailers that I've seen since starting this blog in August 2011 and are not an award for the actual movie.  The Oscars are for that...
The categories for the Inaugural Beerbohm Awards are:

Best Trailer

Worst Trailer

Best Music in a Trailer

Best One-Liner in a Trailer

Worst Spoiler Trailer

Most Misleading Trailer


The Nominees will be released on Sunday, February 18th.  Nominations from readers are welcome.  Either comment on the blog or email your nominations to beerbohmtastic@gmail.com.

Stay tuned...

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Chronicle

What could be worse than giving a loaded gun to an idiot and asking him not to hurt himself or anyone else?  If power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely AND with great power comes great responsibility, then telekinetic power in the hands of teenagers can be both funny and terrifying.

The premise for Chronicle is that a group of teens stumble upon something - a force of some kind - that gives them super powers.  At first, it's all about childish pranks.  Scaring people, moving cars, practical jokes, removing women's clothing.  But then it becomes something more.  As limits are pushed and the realisation of the extent of the power grows, individual darker sides begin to emerge.

What I found interesting about the trailer is that it's all fun until someone dies.  Once one of them crosses the line... the right/wrong, good/evil, legal/illegal line, the rest become divided.  Some are repulsed by the ability to destroy while others are drawn to it.

Max Beerbohm said that "to destroy is still the strongest instinct in nature."

The power that the kids in Chronicle acquire is pretty spectacular.  It looks like, with a wave of a hand, they can destroy cars, buildings and, yes, people.  What would you do with such power?

Would you use it for personal gain?  Would you help others?  Would you hurt others? Would you hurt that driver that cut you off?  What would you do to the teacher that doesn't appreciate your genius and gives you a C+ on your absurdist paper on absurdist playwrights? What about that rude guy in the grocery store?  How about the mechanic who tried to rip you off?  Would you rob banks?  Would you send food to the hungry? Would you join the military so that you could help your country? Would you torture then kill all paedophiles and child molesters? 

If done well, Chronicle could be a really cool examination of the good/evil struggle.  It could also be like watching a train wreck.  Like the morbid fascination of staring at the scene of a bloody wreckage, I am interested in seeing Chronicle for the same reason.