Cats. Seriously? A movie? When I was younger, so much younger than today... Cats was a long-running famous Broadway play.. But now those days are gone I'm not really quite sure... Why anyone would make a movie about this useless purr...
If I'm annoyed enough to review a trailer. Maybe I'm annoyed enough to blog again... Hmm. Between kids hockey, folding laundry and watching UFC Fight Pass, I'm actually glad that I have the energy to be annoyed by a movie trailer.
So for two minutes and twenty-four seconds people dressed as cats are singing and dancing. Have you ever heard a real cat singing? It's fucking annoying. Cats don't run on emotion they run on instinct. They are narcissistic killers. Cats are not loyal, rather they meet their own needs and are only loyal to the ones who feed them as long as they are being fed.
We just rescued some kittens who were abandoned. We nursed them to health and gave some away, keeping one. Cats are destructive and self-absorbed. It doesn't matter how many times I spray the kitten with water for shitting in the plants, she still does it.
We're giving her to my mom who doesn't have plants.
So, Cats, the movie... the trailer. I never saw the play but the sarcastic response to anything used to be "it's much better than Cats." Which means Cats has been an ongoing joke up until people forgot about it. And how insulting to the likes of Andrew Lloyd Weber, who I have no patience for and T.S. Eliot who I studied and loved, to make a stupid movie with great actors giving cats human qualities while still trying to be cats.
The trailer doesn't even have a clear story line. So, why should I care? I don't.
I will not see this film. I will not take me kids to see the film. I will not accompany the wife if she chooses to see this film. I will likely never have a cat as a pet again.
I'm done.
Tuesday 7 January 2020
Tuesday 1 March 2016
And the winner is...
This was a difficult choice because all trailers were effective in their own way. They all set a tone and created a mood that, one hopes, is in the spirit of the film. Having viewed five of the eight Oscar nominated films (reviews to be posted when I'm back from holidays next week) I can tell you that most of my trailer reviews were accurate, especially where the spoilers were and which went on too long. However, for the most part this years nominees were an entertaining group.
That said, in the end their can be only one and one captured the spirit of the film and left me breathless and wanting more.... yeah, I didn't listen to the wife this time.
And the 2016 Beerbohm Award for Best Trailer goes to....
Congratulations...
Here's the review...
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #4: Mad Max: Fury Road
What makes a film franchise? Is it the story? Is it the central character(s)? Is it the creator? Is it safe to say that all movies related to The Avengers (Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, Ant Man, are all part of the franchise? Short answer is, yes.
In the case of Mad Max: Fury Road, it has to be George Miller. Especially with the absence of Mel Gibson. My buddies were sceptical about a Mad Max without Gibson, even though it's just another reboot. But the ace in the hole here is that it's a reboot by George Miller.
Holy crap, what a trailer. It seemed to be cut like the originals (my favourite is Road Warrior), and it was a ride you couldn't escape from. The trailer smacked me to attention and I spent the next 2:31 trying to catch my breath.
The trailer tells the story of Max, a hunted, haunted citizen of George Miller's post apocalyptic vision of Australia after a rugby tournament. Evil warlord goes after his kidnapped/taken/escaped harem and somehow hunted haunted Max is caught in the middle and brilliant Charlize Theron drives a big truck. The evil warlord is scary and menacing, the albino soldiers are freaky, the harem is hot, the stunts are not computer generated (from what I've heard) and the pace is light speed. And the best part is that when the trailer ended I had a huge smile on my face.
What an awesome trailer!
That said, in the end their can be only one and one captured the spirit of the film and left me breathless and wanting more.... yeah, I didn't listen to the wife this time.
And the 2016 Beerbohm Award for Best Trailer goes to....
Congratulations...
Here's the review...
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #4: Mad Max: Fury Road
What makes a film franchise? Is it the story? Is it the central character(s)? Is it the creator? Is it safe to say that all movies related to The Avengers (Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, Ant Man, are all part of the franchise? Short answer is, yes.
In the case of Mad Max: Fury Road, it has to be George Miller. Especially with the absence of Mel Gibson. My buddies were sceptical about a Mad Max without Gibson, even though it's just another reboot. But the ace in the hole here is that it's a reboot by George Miller.
Holy crap, what a trailer. It seemed to be cut like the originals (my favourite is Road Warrior), and it was a ride you couldn't escape from. The trailer smacked me to attention and I spent the next 2:31 trying to catch my breath.
The trailer tells the story of Max, a hunted, haunted citizen of George Miller's post apocalyptic vision of Australia after a rugby tournament. Evil warlord goes after his kidnapped/taken/escaped harem and somehow hunted haunted Max is caught in the middle and brilliant Charlize Theron drives a big truck. The evil warlord is scary and menacing, the albino soldiers are freaky, the harem is hot, the stunts are not computer generated (from what I've heard) and the pace is light speed. And the best part is that when the trailer ended I had a huge smile on my face.
What an awesome trailer!
Monday 29 February 2016
Nominees for 2016 Beerbohm Award for Best Trailer...
So, post Oscar night and we know who won the Oscar for Best Picture. Now it's time to Award the Beerbohm for Oscar Best Picture Nominee's trailers.
Here they are in alphabetical order.
Please continue to cast your votes by comment below, emailing to beerbohmtastic@gmail.com or sending me a tweet.
And the nominees for the 2016 Beerbohm Award for Best Trailer are...
_____________________________________________
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #1: The Big Short
Mesmerising...
I had no idea what The Big Short was about when I started watching the trailer. F**K! The intensity of the content is magnified ten fold because it's basically "a true story." How many people and families lost their homes because of the magnitude of such greed?
The first thing that popped into my mind when the trailer ended was the poem "Harlem" by Langston Hughes:
In this case it explodes.
In Mordecai Richler's classic, "The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz", Duddy is told something like "one is not a man until he owns land."
So, the big American banks have stolen more than just money; they've stolen dignity and in some cases they've stolen lives. MESSED UP!
As much as I love America for what it was and still can be, I'm sometimes glad I live in Canada.
Don't even get me started on the American dream...
Average folk like us have heard of, read about or experienced the gross injustice of the housing bubble/collapse. To see a depiction of it, apparently from the inside, on screen is mesmerising. Like watching a train wreck you know is coming. Like staring at the bloody mess of a car accident. Morbid fascination had me glued to the trailer. And, for the first time in years since starting this blog, wishing the trailer were longer.
What about the trailer?
The trailer for The Big Short is powerful. It evokes so much that I don't recall specifics, just tons of emotion. Christian Bale, Brad Pitt, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Marissa Tomei...etc... All great! Just watch the trailer, you'll see.
I can't wait to see this film.
_________________________________________
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #2: Bridge of Spies
I made the wrong choice, twice.
I chose to watch the 2:33 trailer rather than the 1:44 trailer. I chose to review the 2:33 trailer rather than the 1:44 trailer. And while I know it's a winning combination of "true story," Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks, I also pretty much know what is going to happen (at least I think I do) based on the winning combination and a trailer that gives away too much.
Following another trailer length rant (my rants have become mumbles so I don't wake up the kids) the wife asked me why I didn't just ignore the longer trailer and review the shorter one. "Haven't you done that before?"
"Yes, I have in the past but right now I don't want to." I responded.
The wife gave me one of her very cute smirks and informed me that Bridge of Spies is the next film she wants us to see. Now that I've seen Pacific Rim, I will concede.
The trailer for Bridge of Spies tells us this:
- American pilot on spy mission caught by Russians
- Russian spy caught by Americans
- American family man, insurance lawyer asked to defend Russian spy
- American family man lawyer criticised for defending spy and puts family at risk
- American lawyer seems to be involved in prisoner exchange
- American lawyer goes to what looks like post Berlin wall Germany for prisoner exchange
- Final scene of trailer shows American lawyer on bridge of spies waiting to make exchange
So, based on the trailer and the winning combination, it will have a favourable outcome. It's Spielberg so it'll be a great story. It's Hanks so it'll be well-acted. I'm sure there are other sub-plots that the trailer didn't fully expose but the gist of it, I believe, is a complex story, told well and ending with a satisfied audience.
I'll see Bridge of Spies because it's nominated for an Oscar and the above-mentioned winning combination but not for the mediocre trailer that has left almost nothing to the imagination.
Pfft.
________________________________________
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #3: Brooklyn
When I looked up the trailer for Brooklyn and saw that the run time was 1:51, I smiled. Good length for a trailer. When I watched the trailer for Brooklyn all I could think of was that the wife would probably like this film.
Would you call the 50's a period? If you did, would this be considered a period piece? Is this a chick flick, period? Is this just a good trailer, period? I don't know, period. I hope the wife isn't on her period when she reads this...
The trailer for Brooklyn captures the period very well. It's almost like the film stock is thicker, the colours richer, the sets, the sights, the streets very true to the period. I found myself looking more at the background than listening to the story. The background details were impressive. Then something caught my attention and I tried to focus on the dialogue in the trailer and I heard myself saying, "huh?"
The trailer for Brooklyn tells a simple story of a young girl who journeys to America, meets a boy and then has to go back to Ireland, meets another boy then must decide on which boy to stay with. That's kind of the gist of it and what I was able to pick up between listening and looking at the sets and scenery. Sometimes I'll watch a trailer a few times. I tried to watch this trailer again but the same thing happened.
I got the feeling that this film will win an Oscar for something. Maybe set design? I also know that the wife will want to see it. I've heard that Brooklyn is a great film (Oscar worthy...duh!), but the trailer didn't appeal to any of my emotions.
As the wife sometimes says to me when I tell her she's hurt my feelings, "honey, you don't have any feelings."
'Nuff said. Period.
______________________________________________
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #6: The Revenant
Here they are in alphabetical order.
Please continue to cast your votes by comment below, emailing to beerbohmtastic@gmail.com or sending me a tweet.
And the nominees for the 2016 Beerbohm Award for Best Trailer are...
_____________________________________________
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #1: The Big Short
Mesmerising...
I had no idea what The Big Short was about when I started watching the trailer. F**K! The intensity of the content is magnified ten fold because it's basically "a true story." How many people and families lost their homes because of the magnitude of such greed?
The first thing that popped into my mind when the trailer ended was the poem "Harlem" by Langston Hughes:
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore—
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over—
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?In this case it explodes.
In Mordecai Richler's classic, "The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz", Duddy is told something like "one is not a man until he owns land."
So, the big American banks have stolen more than just money; they've stolen dignity and in some cases they've stolen lives. MESSED UP!
As much as I love America for what it was and still can be, I'm sometimes glad I live in Canada.
Don't even get me started on the American dream...
Average folk like us have heard of, read about or experienced the gross injustice of the housing bubble/collapse. To see a depiction of it, apparently from the inside, on screen is mesmerising. Like watching a train wreck you know is coming. Like staring at the bloody mess of a car accident. Morbid fascination had me glued to the trailer. And, for the first time in years since starting this blog, wishing the trailer were longer.
What about the trailer?
The trailer for The Big Short is powerful. It evokes so much that I don't recall specifics, just tons of emotion. Christian Bale, Brad Pitt, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Marissa Tomei...etc... All great! Just watch the trailer, you'll see.
I can't wait to see this film.
_________________________________________
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #2: Bridge of Spies
I made the wrong choice, twice.
I chose to watch the 2:33 trailer rather than the 1:44 trailer. I chose to review the 2:33 trailer rather than the 1:44 trailer. And while I know it's a winning combination of "true story," Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks, I also pretty much know what is going to happen (at least I think I do) based on the winning combination and a trailer that gives away too much.
Following another trailer length rant (my rants have become mumbles so I don't wake up the kids) the wife asked me why I didn't just ignore the longer trailer and review the shorter one. "Haven't you done that before?"
"Yes, I have in the past but right now I don't want to." I responded.
The wife gave me one of her very cute smirks and informed me that Bridge of Spies is the next film she wants us to see. Now that I've seen Pacific Rim, I will concede.
The trailer for Bridge of Spies tells us this:
- American pilot on spy mission caught by Russians
- Russian spy caught by Americans
- American family man, insurance lawyer asked to defend Russian spy
- American family man lawyer criticised for defending spy and puts family at risk
- American lawyer seems to be involved in prisoner exchange
- American lawyer goes to what looks like post Berlin wall Germany for prisoner exchange
- Final scene of trailer shows American lawyer on bridge of spies waiting to make exchange
So, based on the trailer and the winning combination, it will have a favourable outcome. It's Spielberg so it'll be a great story. It's Hanks so it'll be well-acted. I'm sure there are other sub-plots that the trailer didn't fully expose but the gist of it, I believe, is a complex story, told well and ending with a satisfied audience.
I'll see Bridge of Spies because it's nominated for an Oscar and the above-mentioned winning combination but not for the mediocre trailer that has left almost nothing to the imagination.
Pfft.
________________________________________
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #3: Brooklyn
When I looked up the trailer for Brooklyn and saw that the run time was 1:51, I smiled. Good length for a trailer. When I watched the trailer for Brooklyn all I could think of was that the wife would probably like this film.
Would you call the 50's a period? If you did, would this be considered a period piece? Is this a chick flick, period? Is this just a good trailer, period? I don't know, period. I hope the wife isn't on her period when she reads this...
The trailer for Brooklyn captures the period very well. It's almost like the film stock is thicker, the colours richer, the sets, the sights, the streets very true to the period. I found myself looking more at the background than listening to the story. The background details were impressive. Then something caught my attention and I tried to focus on the dialogue in the trailer and I heard myself saying, "huh?"
The trailer for Brooklyn tells a simple story of a young girl who journeys to America, meets a boy and then has to go back to Ireland, meets another boy then must decide on which boy to stay with. That's kind of the gist of it and what I was able to pick up between listening and looking at the sets and scenery. Sometimes I'll watch a trailer a few times. I tried to watch this trailer again but the same thing happened.
I got the feeling that this film will win an Oscar for something. Maybe set design? I also know that the wife will want to see it. I've heard that Brooklyn is a great film (Oscar worthy...duh!), but the trailer didn't appeal to any of my emotions.
As the wife sometimes says to me when I tell her she's hurt my feelings, "honey, you don't have any feelings."
'Nuff said. Period.
_________________________________________
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #4: Mad Max: Fury Road
What makes a film franchise? Is it the story? Is it the central character(s)? Is it the creator? Is it safe to say that all movies related to The Avengers (Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, Ant Man, are all part of the franchise? Short answer is, yes.
In the case of Mad Max: Fury Road, it has to be George Miller. Especially with the absence of Mel Gibson. My buddies were sceptical about a Mad Max without Gibson, even though it's just another reboot. But the ace in the hole here is that it's a reboot by George Miller.
Holy crap, what a trailer. It seemed to be cut like the originals (my favourite is Road Warrior), and it was a ride you couldn't escape from. The trailer smacked me to attention and I spent the next 2:31 trying to catch my breath.
The trailer tells the story of Max, a hunted, haunted citizen of George Miller's post apocalyptic vision of Australia after a rugby tournament. Evil warlord goes after his kidnapped/taken/escaped harem and somehow hunted haunted Max is caught in the middle and brilliant Charlize Theron drives a big truck. The evil warlord is scary and menacing, the albino soldiers are freaky, the harem is hot, the stunts are not computer generated (from what I've heard) and the pace is light speed. And the best part is that when the trailer ended I had a huge smile on my face.
What an awesome trailer!
_____________________________________________
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #5: The Martian
The Martian. The trailer is over 3 minutes long. 3 minutes. I could tell you my life story in 3 minutes. You could create life in 3 minutes (or less). A movie trailer should never be more than 2 minutes. I've been saying that, minus an 18 month hiatus, for as long as I've been blogging. For as long as trailers have been spoiling movies for movie lovers everywhere....
Matt Damon. Love him or hate him he's an A-lister. Let's face it, he's got a sh*t load of talent and he's extremely versatile. However, every time I hear his name I think of how his name was spoken in South Park. Regardless, I like most of his movies. I heard he's the next Robin in the up-coming Batman and Robin starring Ben Affleck as Batman.
The Martian, trailer: So, team goes to Mars. Chaos ensues. All presumed dead. One survives. He has about 31 days worth of food/supplies. It will take four years for him to be rescued. Serious predicament. So, he has to become MacGyver on Mars.
I used to work with this guy that could fix anything with a book of matches and a paper clip. I once saw him retrieve data from a USB stick that was run over by a car. He, of course, used a book of matches and a paper clip. He drove a diesel VW. It was an older one so he got it for gas mileage and not the promise of eco-friendly. Just sayin'. While someone was tail-gating him, he figured out that if you hold down your wiper/washer fluid so that it generates a steady stream - in some VW's the stream sometimes jets over the windshield to the car behind it - and down shift at mid-to high RPM black diesel smoke fires out, and the fluid combined with black sooty exhaust hits the windshield of the car behind you. Who thinks up shit like this? We used to call him MacGyver.
The Martian trailer should have stopped when Matt Damon has to be MacGyver to survive. We don't need to know the politics and challenges around a rescue mission. All we need to know is that there might be a rescue but Matt's going to do real cool stuff and endure challenges while he waits. And Kristen Wiig looks serious - I'd like to see her serious.
I'm sure the wife will want to see this. I kind of want to see it, too.
What makes a film franchise? Is it the story? Is it the central character(s)? Is it the creator? Is it safe to say that all movies related to The Avengers (Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, Ant Man, are all part of the franchise? Short answer is, yes.
In the case of Mad Max: Fury Road, it has to be George Miller. Especially with the absence of Mel Gibson. My buddies were sceptical about a Mad Max without Gibson, even though it's just another reboot. But the ace in the hole here is that it's a reboot by George Miller.
Holy crap, what a trailer. It seemed to be cut like the originals (my favourite is Road Warrior), and it was a ride you couldn't escape from. The trailer smacked me to attention and I spent the next 2:31 trying to catch my breath.
The trailer tells the story of Max, a hunted, haunted citizen of George Miller's post apocalyptic vision of Australia after a rugby tournament. Evil warlord goes after his kidnapped/taken/escaped harem and somehow hunted haunted Max is caught in the middle and brilliant Charlize Theron drives a big truck. The evil warlord is scary and menacing, the albino soldiers are freaky, the harem is hot, the stunts are not computer generated (from what I've heard) and the pace is light speed. And the best part is that when the trailer ended I had a huge smile on my face.
What an awesome trailer!
_____________________________________________
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #5: The Martian
(Originally posted Oct. 5, 2015)
The Martian. The trailer is over 3 minutes long. 3 minutes. I could tell you my life story in 3 minutes. You could create life in 3 minutes (or less). A movie trailer should never be more than 2 minutes. I've been saying that, minus an 18 month hiatus, for as long as I've been blogging. For as long as trailers have been spoiling movies for movie lovers everywhere....
Matt Damon. Love him or hate him he's an A-lister. Let's face it, he's got a sh*t load of talent and he's extremely versatile. However, every time I hear his name I think of how his name was spoken in South Park. Regardless, I like most of his movies. I heard he's the next Robin in the up-coming Batman and Robin starring Ben Affleck as Batman.
The Martian, trailer: So, team goes to Mars. Chaos ensues. All presumed dead. One survives. He has about 31 days worth of food/supplies. It will take four years for him to be rescued. Serious predicament. So, he has to become MacGyver on Mars.
I used to work with this guy that could fix anything with a book of matches and a paper clip. I once saw him retrieve data from a USB stick that was run over by a car. He, of course, used a book of matches and a paper clip. He drove a diesel VW. It was an older one so he got it for gas mileage and not the promise of eco-friendly. Just sayin'. While someone was tail-gating him, he figured out that if you hold down your wiper/washer fluid so that it generates a steady stream - in some VW's the stream sometimes jets over the windshield to the car behind it - and down shift at mid-to high RPM black diesel smoke fires out, and the fluid combined with black sooty exhaust hits the windshield of the car behind you. Who thinks up shit like this? We used to call him MacGyver.
The Martian trailer should have stopped when Matt Damon has to be MacGyver to survive. We don't need to know the politics and challenges around a rescue mission. All we need to know is that there might be a rescue but Matt's going to do real cool stuff and endure challenges while he waits. And Kristen Wiig looks serious - I'd like to see her serious.
I'm sure the wife will want to see this. I kind of want to see it, too.
______________________________________________
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #6: The Revenant
Revenant - I had to look it up. It means to return, especially supposedly from the dead.
Yup.
So, from the title we get an overview of the story. And from the trailer we see a man's fight for survival against his fellow man (friends), nature (wilderness, bad weather and a bear) and himself, the will to survive if only to avenge the death of his son from what appears to be the hands of his fellow man.
Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord. Romans 12:19
'You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD. Leviticus 19:18
As revenge is a major movie theme, I guess The Old Testament is more widely accepted: "AN EYE FOR AN EYE, A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH." But I prefer the profound words of Roberto Benigni in the Jim Jarmusch classic, Down by Law, "..you throw the ball to me...I.. I... I throw the ball to you..." Kind of sad, really.
It wasn't until "Catch me if you can" that I actually started to like Leonardo DiCaprio. Since then, he's been a stand out for me in the best actor category in most of his work. Only criticism I have now of DiCaprio is that he should have understood what a Chinook wind was before making the silly climate change comment: natural phenomenon vs. global warming. I still like him and I doubt he'll knock any of my top 5 celebrities who should just shut up and go away list. I think it's on this blog somewhere in the first or second year. But I digress...
Tom Hardy. Mad Max. Bane. Lawless. That crap love triangle film that the wife liked with young captain Kirk and Reese Witherspoon. He's definitely got screen presence and is not afraid to take on any roll. Saw him in a slow moving, uninspired film with the late great James Gandolfini, The Drop. It was yet another tribute to his versatility. I think I prefer him, though, as villain, rather then just a misunderstood bad guy.
Oh yeah, The Revenant. As a parent, it pains me to see a parent lose child, even on film. And the apparent manner in which Leo's child is lost in this film, at the hands of his "friend" is sickening and only makes the revenge part of his plight that much sweeter. And while I didn't bother to look up the real story that this "based on true events" movie is depicting, I trust that the revenge, Old Testament/movie style, will be sweet.
Other than the emotion the wife says I don't have, the trailer made me think: Passion of the Christ meets Grizzly Adams. You know, one man enduring all that torture but this time in the wilderness...
The wife said she doesn't think she could sit through The Revenant. I think I can.
Other than the emotion the wife says I don't have, the trailer made me think: Passion of the Christ meets Grizzly Adams. You know, one man enduring all that torture but this time in the wilderness...
The wife said she doesn't think she could sit through The Revenant. I think I can.
_________________________________________________
It isn't often that the emotion the wife says I don't have is tugged upon. Yet I found myself being taken from the very beginning of the trailer for Room.
A mother and young child are prisoners in a small room. The small room is the only world the child knows in his first five years of life, and other than what information they get from a small television, The mother plans an escape for the child, tells the child what to do and the child escapes. The kidnapper/captor is arrested. While the child is in awe of the sights and sounds of the outside world the mother is suffering from what appears to be guilt or depression or PTSD. Post escape, something happens to the mother and we see her in hospital. She recovers and they adjust to life outside of the room...
The trailer was more like an executive summary - you know highlight everything without any serious detail - but with a high level of emotion. Talk about tugging at the heart strings. The injustice, the sadness, the tension, the escape, the adjustment, the setback and the human spirit prevailing. I was truly moved. And this coming from a comic book movie nerd...
Wait a minute! I was so drawn in by the story that I didn't realise the trailer gave away the entire story. I can't think of another trailer that evoked so much emotion while giving away so much of the story. So, does this make the trailer for Room a good trailer for what it projects or a bad trailer for what it gives away? For the first time as Beerbohmtastic, I'm at a loss for words.
Now I want to see the film...
And I thought the trailer for Room was emotional. FFS, this trailer made me want to cry. The abuse of power, breach of trust and abusive, selfish corruption of innocent children is both infuriating and heartbreaking.
One scene in the trailer shows a man holding a picture of a child and saying, "how do you say no to God?" The magnitude of the abuse of power is mind boggling for me. As a parent and human being I had trouble sitting through this trailer.
While the cast is great and the story horrific, I can't get past the pure evil of the crimes committed and the shocking attempt to cover it all up. We hear about this type of abuse often and thank God there are law enforcement agencies out there hunting down these perpetrators...f**king animals, really. Paedophilia is the most heinous of acts and crimes. To destroy innocence in such a horrible way should be punishable, first by castration, then by slow death. The punishment should fit the crime. Sadly, in most societies the legal system continues to fail the victims.
If a trailer is measured by what it tells you and how it makes you feel, then this trailer was powerful and effective. That said, I don't know if I have the stomach or heart to see this film.
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #7: Room
It isn't often that the emotion the wife says I don't have is tugged upon. Yet I found myself being taken from the very beginning of the trailer for Room.
A mother and young child are prisoners in a small room. The small room is the only world the child knows in his first five years of life, and other than what information they get from a small television, The mother plans an escape for the child, tells the child what to do and the child escapes. The kidnapper/captor is arrested. While the child is in awe of the sights and sounds of the outside world the mother is suffering from what appears to be guilt or depression or PTSD. Post escape, something happens to the mother and we see her in hospital. She recovers and they adjust to life outside of the room...
The trailer was more like an executive summary - you know highlight everything without any serious detail - but with a high level of emotion. Talk about tugging at the heart strings. The injustice, the sadness, the tension, the escape, the adjustment, the setback and the human spirit prevailing. I was truly moved. And this coming from a comic book movie nerd...
Wait a minute! I was so drawn in by the story that I didn't realise the trailer gave away the entire story. I can't think of another trailer that evoked so much emotion while giving away so much of the story. So, does this make the trailer for Room a good trailer for what it projects or a bad trailer for what it gives away? For the first time as Beerbohmtastic, I'm at a loss for words.
Now I want to see the film...
_________________________________________________
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #8: Spotlight
And I thought the trailer for Room was emotional. FFS, this trailer made me want to cry. The abuse of power, breach of trust and abusive, selfish corruption of innocent children is both infuriating and heartbreaking.
One scene in the trailer shows a man holding a picture of a child and saying, "how do you say no to God?" The magnitude of the abuse of power is mind boggling for me. As a parent and human being I had trouble sitting through this trailer.
While the cast is great and the story horrific, I can't get past the pure evil of the crimes committed and the shocking attempt to cover it all up. We hear about this type of abuse often and thank God there are law enforcement agencies out there hunting down these perpetrators...f**king animals, really. Paedophilia is the most heinous of acts and crimes. To destroy innocence in such a horrible way should be punishable, first by castration, then by slow death. The punishment should fit the crime. Sadly, in most societies the legal system continues to fail the victims.
If a trailer is measured by what it tells you and how it makes you feel, then this trailer was powerful and effective. That said, I don't know if I have the stomach or heart to see this film.
Monday 22 February 2016
Spotlight
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #8: Spotlight
And I thought the trailer for Room was emotional. FFS, this trailer made me want to cry. The abuse of power, breach of trust and abusive, selfish corruption of innocent children is both infuriating and heartbreaking.
One scene in the trailer shows a man holding a picture of a child and saying, "how do you say no to God?" The magnitude of the abuse of power is mind boggling for me. As a parent and human being I had trouble sitting through this trailer.
While the cast is great and the story horrific, I can't get past the pure evil of the crimes committed and the shocking attempt to cover it all up. We hear about this type of abuse often and thank God there are law enforcement agencies out there hunting down these perpetrators...f**king animals, really. Paedophilia is the most heinous of acts and crimes. To destroy innocence in such a horrible way should be punishable, first by castration, then by slow death. The punishment should fit the crime. Sadly, in most societies the legal system continues to fail the victims.
If a trailer is measured by what it tells you and how it makes you feel, then this trailer was powerful and effective. That said, I don't know if I have the stomach or heart to see this film.
And I thought the trailer for Room was emotional. FFS, this trailer made me want to cry. The abuse of power, breach of trust and abusive, selfish corruption of innocent children is both infuriating and heartbreaking.
One scene in the trailer shows a man holding a picture of a child and saying, "how do you say no to God?" The magnitude of the abuse of power is mind boggling for me. As a parent and human being I had trouble sitting through this trailer.
While the cast is great and the story horrific, I can't get past the pure evil of the crimes committed and the shocking attempt to cover it all up. We hear about this type of abuse often and thank God there are law enforcement agencies out there hunting down these perpetrators...f**king animals, really. Paedophilia is the most heinous of acts and crimes. To destroy innocence in such a horrible way should be punishable, first by castration, then by slow death. The punishment should fit the crime. Sadly, in most societies the legal system continues to fail the victims.
If a trailer is measured by what it tells you and how it makes you feel, then this trailer was powerful and effective. That said, I don't know if I have the stomach or heart to see this film.
Friday 19 February 2016
Room
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #7: Room
It isn't often that the emotion the wife says I don't have is tugged upon. Yet I found myself being taken from the very beginning of the trailer for Room.
A mother and young child are prisoners in a small room. The small room is the only world the child knows in his first five years of life, and other than what information they get from a small television, The mother plans an escape for the child, tells the child what to do and the child escapes. The kidnapper/captor is arrested. While the child is in awe of the sights and sounds of the outside world the mother is suffering from what appears to be guilt or depression or PTSD. Post escape, something happens to the mother and we see her in hospital. She recovers and they adjust to life outside of the room...
The trailer was more like an executive summary - you know highlight everything without any serious detail - but with a high level of emotion. Talk about tugging at the heart strings. The injustice, the sadness, the tension, the escape, the adjustment, the setback and the human spirit prevailing. I was truly moved. And this coming from a comic book movie nerd...
Wait a minute! I was so drawn in by the story that I didn't realise the trailer gave away the entire story. I can't think of another trailer that evoked so much emotion while giving away so much of the story. So, does this make the trailer for Room a good trailer for what it projects or a bad trailer for what it gives away? For the first time as Beerbohmtastic, I'm at a loss for words.
Now I want to see the film...
It isn't often that the emotion the wife says I don't have is tugged upon. Yet I found myself being taken from the very beginning of the trailer for Room.
A mother and young child are prisoners in a small room. The small room is the only world the child knows in his first five years of life, and other than what information they get from a small television, The mother plans an escape for the child, tells the child what to do and the child escapes. The kidnapper/captor is arrested. While the child is in awe of the sights and sounds of the outside world the mother is suffering from what appears to be guilt or depression or PTSD. Post escape, something happens to the mother and we see her in hospital. She recovers and they adjust to life outside of the room...
The trailer was more like an executive summary - you know highlight everything without any serious detail - but with a high level of emotion. Talk about tugging at the heart strings. The injustice, the sadness, the tension, the escape, the adjustment, the setback and the human spirit prevailing. I was truly moved. And this coming from a comic book movie nerd...
Wait a minute! I was so drawn in by the story that I didn't realise the trailer gave away the entire story. I can't think of another trailer that evoked so much emotion while giving away so much of the story. So, does this make the trailer for Room a good trailer for what it projects or a bad trailer for what it gives away? For the first time as Beerbohmtastic, I'm at a loss for words.
Now I want to see the film...
Tuesday 16 February 2016
The Revenant
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #6: The Revenant
Revenant - I had to look it up. It means to return, especially supposedly from the dead.
Yup.
So, from the title we get an overview of the story. And from the trailer we see a man's fight for survival against his fellow man (friends), nature (wilderness, bad weather and a bear) and himself, the will to survive if only to avenge the death of his son from what appears to be the hands of his fellow man.
Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord. Romans 12:19
'You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD. Leviticus 19:18
As revenge is a major movie theme, I guess The Old Testament is more widely accepted: "AN EYE FOR AN EYE, A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH." But I prefer the profound words of Roberto Benigni in the Jim Jarmusch classic, Down by Law, "..you throw the ball to me...I.. I... I throw the ball to you..." Kind of sad, really.
It wasn't until "Catch me if you can" that I actually started to like Leonardo DiCaprio. Since then, he's been a stand out for me in the best actor category in most of his work. Only criticism I have now of DiCaprio is that he should have understood what a Chinook wind was before making the silly climate change comment: natural phenomenon vs. global warming. I still like him and I doubt he'll knock any of my top 5 celebrities who should just shut up and go away list. I think it's on this blog somewhere in the first or second year. But I digress...
Tom Hardy. Mad Max. Bane. Lawless. That crap love triangle film that the wife liked with young captain Kirk and Reese Witherspoon. He's definitely got screen presence and is not afraid to take on any roll. Saw him in a slow moving, uninspired film with the late great James Gandolfini, The Drop. It was yet another tribute to his versatility. I think I prefer him, though, as villain, rather then just a misunderstood bad guy.
Oh yeah, The Revenant. As a parent, it pains me to see a parent lose child, even on film. And the apparent manner in which Leo's child is lost in this film, at the hands of his "friend" is sickening and only makes the revenge part of his plight that much sweeter. And while I didn't bother to look up the real story that this "based on true events" movie is depicting, I trust that the revenge, Old Testament/movie style, will be sweet.
Other than the emotion the wife says I don't have, the trailer made me think: Passion of the Christ meets Grizzly Adams. You know, one man enduring all that torture but this time in the wilderness...
The wife said she doesn't think she could sit through The Revenant. I think I can.
Other than the emotion the wife says I don't have, the trailer made me think: Passion of the Christ meets Grizzly Adams. You know, one man enduring all that torture but this time in the wilderness...
The wife said she doesn't think she could sit through The Revenant. I think I can.
Friday 12 February 2016
THE MARTIAN
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #5: The Martian
(Originally posted Oct. 5, 2015)
The Martian. The trailer is over 3 minutes long. 3 minutes. I could tell you my life story in 3 minutes. You could create life in 3 minutes (or less). A movie trailer should never be more than 2 minutes. I've been saying that, minus an 18 month hiatus, for as long as I've been blogging. For as long as trailers have been spoiling movies for movie lovers everywhere....
Matt Damon. Love him or hate him he's an A-lister. Let's face it, he's got a sh*t load of talent and he's extremely versatile. However, every time I hear his name I think of how his name was spoken in South Park. Regardless, I like most of his movies. I heard he's the next Robin in the up-coming Batman and Robin starring Ben Affleck as Batman.
The Martian, trailer: So, team goes to Mars. Chaos ensues. All presumed dead. One survives. He has about 31 days worth of food/supplies. It will take four years for him to be rescued. Serious predicament. So, he has to become MacGyver on Mars.
I used to work with this guy that could fix anything with a book of matches and a paper clip. I once saw him retrieve data from a USB stick that was run over by a car. He, of course, used a book of matches and a paper clip. He drove a diesel VW. It was an older one so he got it for gas mileage and not the promise of eco-friendly. Just sayin'. While someone was tail-gating him, he figured out that if you hold down your wiper/washer fluid so that it generates a steady stream - in some VW's the stream sometimes jets over the windshield to the car behind it - and down shift at mid-to high RPM black diesel smoke fires out, and the fluid combined with black sooty exhaust hits the windshield of the car behind you. Who thinks up shit like this? We used to call him MacGyver.
The Martian trailer should have stopped when Matt Damon has to be MacGyver to survive. We don't need to know the politics and challenges around a rescue mission. All we need to know is that there might be a rescue but Matt's going to do real cool stuff and endure challenges while he waits. And Kristen Wiig looks serious - I'd like to see her serious.
I'm sure the wife will want to see this. I kind of want to see it, too.
Thursday 11 February 2016
Mad Max: Fury Road
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #4: Mad Max: Fury Road
What makes a film franchise? Is it the story? Is it the central character(s)? Is it the creator? Is it safe to say that all movies related to The Avengers (Captain America, Thor, Iron Man, Ant Man, are all part of the franchise? Short answer is, yes.
In the case of Mad Max: Fury Road, it has to be George Miller. Especially with the absence of Mel Gibson. My buddies were sceptical about a Mad Max without Gibson, even though it's just another reboot. But the ace in the hole here is that it's a reboot by George Miller.
Holy crap, what a trailer. It seemed to be cut like the originals (my favourite is Road Warrior), and it was a ride you couldn't escape from. The trailer smacked me to attention and I spent the next 2:31 trying to catch my breath.
The trailer tells the story of Max, a hunted, haunted citizen of George Miller's post apocalyptic vision of Australia after a rugby tournament. Evil warlord goes after his kidnapped/taken/escaped harem and somehow hunted haunted Max is caught in the middle and brilliant Charlize Theron drives a big truck. The evil warlord is scary and menacing, the albino soldiers are freaky, the harem is hot, the stunts are not computer generated (from what I've heard) and the pace is light speed. And the best part is that when the trailer ended I had a huge smile on my face.
What an awesome trailer!
Tuesday 9 February 2016
Brooklyn
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #3: Brooklyn
When I looked up the trailer for Brooklyn and saw that the run time was 1:51, I smiled. Good length for a trailer. When I watched the trailer for Brooklyn all I could think of was that the wife would probably like this film.
Would you call the 50's a period? If you did, would this be considered a period piece? Is this a chick flick, period? Is this just a good trailer, period? I don't know, period. I hope the wife isn't on her period when she reads this...
The trailer for Brooklyn captures the period very well. It's almost like the film stock is thicker, the colours richer, the sets, the sights, the streets very true to the period. I found myself looking more at the background than listening to the story. The background details were impressive. Then something caught my attention and I tried to focus on the dialogue in the trailer and I heard myself saying, "huh?"
The trailer for Brooklyn tells a simple story of a young girl who journeys to America, meets a boy and then has to go back to Ireland, meets another boy then must decide on which boy to stay with. That's kind of the gist of it and what I was able to pick up between listening and looking at the sets and scenery. Sometimes I'll watch a trailer a few times. I tried to watch this trailer again but the same thing happened.
I got the feeling that this film will win an Oscar for something. Maybe set design? I also know that the wife will want to see it. I've heard that Brooklyn is a great film (Oscar worthy...duh!), but the trailer didn't appeal to any of my emotions.
As the wife sometimes says to me when I tell her she's hurt my feelings, "honey, you don't have any feelings."
'Nuff said. Period.
When I looked up the trailer for Brooklyn and saw that the run time was 1:51, I smiled. Good length for a trailer. When I watched the trailer for Brooklyn all I could think of was that the wife would probably like this film.
Would you call the 50's a period? If you did, would this be considered a period piece? Is this a chick flick, period? Is this just a good trailer, period? I don't know, period. I hope the wife isn't on her period when she reads this...
The trailer for Brooklyn captures the period very well. It's almost like the film stock is thicker, the colours richer, the sets, the sights, the streets very true to the period. I found myself looking more at the background than listening to the story. The background details were impressive. Then something caught my attention and I tried to focus on the dialogue in the trailer and I heard myself saying, "huh?"
The trailer for Brooklyn tells a simple story of a young girl who journeys to America, meets a boy and then has to go back to Ireland, meets another boy then must decide on which boy to stay with. That's kind of the gist of it and what I was able to pick up between listening and looking at the sets and scenery. Sometimes I'll watch a trailer a few times. I tried to watch this trailer again but the same thing happened.
I got the feeling that this film will win an Oscar for something. Maybe set design? I also know that the wife will want to see it. I've heard that Brooklyn is a great film (Oscar worthy...duh!), but the trailer didn't appeal to any of my emotions.
As the wife sometimes says to me when I tell her she's hurt my feelings, "honey, you don't have any feelings."
'Nuff said. Period.
Friday 29 January 2016
INDICTMENT - A new Seraph Films Project
INDICTMENT
Written by Jhan Harp and Rob Stith
Directed by Gene Blalock
"A jailed, amnesiac African American suffers brutality at the hands of a vicious, prejudiced police officer. The tables turn when he learns the truth of his recent near-death experience in a twist of fate that the narrow-minded cop never saw coming."
Independent film continues to drive content, creativity and emotion while serving as a constant reminder that there is much more great content out there than our local cinemas have access to.
Seek out independent film! Find it, consume it & be inspired!
Beerbohmtastic continues to support Independent film, now that I'm reviewing again (apologies to those I've missed during my parenting hiatus), so send me your trailers and I'll do my best to review them!
I will review the trailer for Indictment when it becomes available. More info available here:
https://www.gofundme.com/Indictment
Written by Jhan Harp and Rob Stith
Directed by Gene Blalock
"A jailed, amnesiac African American suffers brutality at the hands of a vicious, prejudiced police officer. The tables turn when he learns the truth of his recent near-death experience in a twist of fate that the narrow-minded cop never saw coming."
Independent film continues to drive content, creativity and emotion while serving as a constant reminder that there is much more great content out there than our local cinemas have access to.
Seek out independent film! Find it, consume it & be inspired!
Beerbohmtastic continues to support Independent film, now that I'm reviewing again (apologies to those I've missed during my parenting hiatus), so send me your trailers and I'll do my best to review them!
I will review the trailer for Indictment when it becomes available. More info available here:
https://www.gofundme.com/Indictment
Tuesday 26 January 2016
Bridge of Spies
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #2: Bridge of Spies
I made the wrong choice, twice.
I chose to watch the 2:33 trailer rather than the 1:44 trailer. I chose to review the 2:33 trailer rather than the 1:44 trailer. And while I know it's a winning combination of "true story," Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks, I also pretty much know what is going to happen (at least I think I do) based on the winning combination and a trailer that gives away too much.
Following another trailer length rant (my rants have become mumbles so I don't wake up the kids) the wife asked me why I didn't just ignore the longer trailer and review the shorter one. "Haven't you done that before?"
"Yes, I have in the past but right now I don't want to." I responded.
The wife gave me one of her very cute smirks and informed me that Bridge of Spies is the next film she wants us to see. Now that I've seen Pacific Rim, I will concede.
The trailer for Bridge of Spies tells us this:
- American pilot on spy mission caught by Russians
- Russian spy caught by Americans
- American family man, insurance lawyer asked to defend Russian spy
- American family man lawyer criticised for defending spy and puts family at risk
- American lawyer seems to be involved in prisoner exchange
- American lawyer goes to what looks like post Berlin wall Germany for prisoner exchange
- Final scene of trailer shows American lawyer on bridge of spies waiting to make exchange
So, based on the trailer and the winning combination, it will have a favourable outcome. It's Spielberg so it'll be a great story. It's Hanks so it'll be well-acted. I'm sure there are other sub-plots that the trailer didn't fully expose but the gist of it, I believe, is a complex story, told well and ending with a satisfied audience.
I'll see Bridge of Spies because it's nominated for an Oscar and the above-mentioned winning combination but not for the mediocre trailer that has left almost nothing to the imagination.
Pfft.
I made the wrong choice, twice.
I chose to watch the 2:33 trailer rather than the 1:44 trailer. I chose to review the 2:33 trailer rather than the 1:44 trailer. And while I know it's a winning combination of "true story," Steven Spielberg and Tom Hanks, I also pretty much know what is going to happen (at least I think I do) based on the winning combination and a trailer that gives away too much.
Following another trailer length rant (my rants have become mumbles so I don't wake up the kids) the wife asked me why I didn't just ignore the longer trailer and review the shorter one. "Haven't you done that before?"
"Yes, I have in the past but right now I don't want to." I responded.
The wife gave me one of her very cute smirks and informed me that Bridge of Spies is the next film she wants us to see. Now that I've seen Pacific Rim, I will concede.
The trailer for Bridge of Spies tells us this:
- American pilot on spy mission caught by Russians
- Russian spy caught by Americans
- American family man, insurance lawyer asked to defend Russian spy
- American family man lawyer criticised for defending spy and puts family at risk
- American lawyer seems to be involved in prisoner exchange
- American lawyer goes to what looks like post Berlin wall Germany for prisoner exchange
- Final scene of trailer shows American lawyer on bridge of spies waiting to make exchange
So, based on the trailer and the winning combination, it will have a favourable outcome. It's Spielberg so it'll be a great story. It's Hanks so it'll be well-acted. I'm sure there are other sub-plots that the trailer didn't fully expose but the gist of it, I believe, is a complex story, told well and ending with a satisfied audience.
I'll see Bridge of Spies because it's nominated for an Oscar and the above-mentioned winning combination but not for the mediocre trailer that has left almost nothing to the imagination.
Pfft.
Monday 25 January 2016
The Big Short
Oscar Best Picture Nominee #: The Big Short
Mesmerising...
I had no idea what The Big Short was about when I started watching the trailer. F**K! The intensity of the content is magnified ten fold because it's basically "a true story." How many people and families lost their homes because of the magnitude of such greed?
The first thing that popped into my mind when the trailer ended was the poem "Harlem" by Langston Hughes:
In this case it explodes.
In Mordecai Richler's classic, "The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz", Duddy is told something like "one is not a man until he owns land."
So, the big American banks have stolen more than just money; they've stolen dignity and in some cases they've stolen lives. MESSED UP!
As much as I love America for what it was and still can be, I'm sometimes glad I live in Canada.
Don't even get me started on the American dream...
Average folk like us have heard of, read about or experienced the gross injustice of the housing bubble/collapse. To see a depiction of it, apparently from the inside, on screen is mesmerising. Like watching a train wreck you know is coming. Like staring at the bloody mess of a car accident. Morbid fascination had me glued to the trailer. And, for the first time in years since starting this blog, wishing the trailer were longer.
What about the trailer?
The trailer for The Big Short is powerful. It evokes so much that I don't recall specifics, just tons of emotion. Christian Bale, Brad Pitt, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Marissa Tomei...etc... All great! Just watch the trailer, you'll see.
I can't wait to see this film.
Mesmerising...
I had no idea what The Big Short was about when I started watching the trailer. F**K! The intensity of the content is magnified ten fold because it's basically "a true story." How many people and families lost their homes because of the magnitude of such greed?
The first thing that popped into my mind when the trailer ended was the poem "Harlem" by Langston Hughes:
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore—
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over—
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?In this case it explodes.
In Mordecai Richler's classic, "The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz", Duddy is told something like "one is not a man until he owns land."
So, the big American banks have stolen more than just money; they've stolen dignity and in some cases they've stolen lives. MESSED UP!
As much as I love America for what it was and still can be, I'm sometimes glad I live in Canada.
Don't even get me started on the American dream...
Average folk like us have heard of, read about or experienced the gross injustice of the housing bubble/collapse. To see a depiction of it, apparently from the inside, on screen is mesmerising. Like watching a train wreck you know is coming. Like staring at the bloody mess of a car accident. Morbid fascination had me glued to the trailer. And, for the first time in years since starting this blog, wishing the trailer were longer.
What about the trailer?
The trailer for The Big Short is powerful. It evokes so much that I don't recall specifics, just tons of emotion. Christian Bale, Brad Pitt, Steve Carell, Ryan Gosling, Marissa Tomei...etc... All great! Just watch the trailer, you'll see.
I can't wait to see this film.
Tuesday 19 January 2016
Oscar Best Picture Trailer Reviews and the return of the Beerbohm Award
Here's the impressive hardware:
Reviews will be in alphabetical order beginning shortly:
"The Big Short"
"Bridge of Spies"
"Brooklyn"
"Mad Max: Fury Road"
"The Martian"
"The Revenant"
"Room"
"Spotlight"
Don't trust my silly reviews, watch the trailers then tell me at beerbohmtastic@gmail.com
Stay tuned....
Thursday 7 January 2016
VIEWED: Star Wars: The Force Awakens
My trailer review said:
"I watched it [the trailer] a third time and still nothing. Looks like the dark side is riding a high but the force is mounting a comeback. Kind of like the empire has struck back but now the Jedi are returning but in episode 7, not in 5 or 6 which were released as 2 and 3. I didn't see Yoda. I'll definitely watch this film because I loved 4, 5 & 6, but I'm not getting sucked into the hype. Yeah, I know..."
I avoided all the hype (that I could avoid) only hearing that Star Wars EP. VII was great. I concede that it was a very entertaining movie, true to the original franchise (4,5,6 which were released first, second and third).
Okay, I think I get it. Episodes 1, 2 & 3, released fourth, fifth and six, truly sucked ass. I remember seeing Episode 1 (released fourth) and thinking Lucas is thinking merchandising. I remember being put off by the racial stereotpying. I remember thinking even Yoda is kind of annoying. I remember thinking Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader? Cool. That was the only cool part for me, even though Ewan MacGregor is awesome.
I couldn't sit through Episodes 2 & 3 (released fifth and sixth) as I found them annoying, even though Natalie Portman is awesome.
The Force Awakens is pretty much a revised 40 years later version of Star Wars (episode 4, released first), which is arguably one of the best Sci-Fi movies ever. It's the same formula, which works and it's the same payoff (SPOILER ALERT): destruction of the death star, except this is a much bigger death star but it's easier to lower the shields, good thing too because the future of the universe was at stake... Even a long time ago in a galaxy far far away there were design flaws that were exploited. You'd think the dark side first order would have figured this out after the destruction of the first death star.
All that to say: Episode 7 released seventh is a safe, formulaic attempt to bring back the purists and restore the order within the force and unite the fan base. More importantly it brings the franchise back to where it should be. From this perspective, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens after the Empire Strikes Back as the First Order and the Jedi Return again, this film is a success.
"I watched it [the trailer] a third time and still nothing. Looks like the dark side is riding a high but the force is mounting a comeback. Kind of like the empire has struck back but now the Jedi are returning but in episode 7, not in 5 or 6 which were released as 2 and 3. I didn't see Yoda. I'll definitely watch this film because I loved 4, 5 & 6, but I'm not getting sucked into the hype. Yeah, I know..."
I avoided all the hype (that I could avoid) only hearing that Star Wars EP. VII was great. I concede that it was a very entertaining movie, true to the original franchise (4,5,6 which were released first, second and third).
Okay, I think I get it. Episodes 1, 2 & 3, released fourth, fifth and six, truly sucked ass. I remember seeing Episode 1 (released fourth) and thinking Lucas is thinking merchandising. I remember being put off by the racial stereotpying. I remember thinking even Yoda is kind of annoying. I remember thinking Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader? Cool. That was the only cool part for me, even though Ewan MacGregor is awesome.
I couldn't sit through Episodes 2 & 3 (released fifth and sixth) as I found them annoying, even though Natalie Portman is awesome.
The Force Awakens is pretty much a revised 40 years later version of Star Wars (episode 4, released first), which is arguably one of the best Sci-Fi movies ever. It's the same formula, which works and it's the same payoff (SPOILER ALERT): destruction of the death star, except this is a much bigger death star but it's easier to lower the shields, good thing too because the future of the universe was at stake... Even a long time ago in a galaxy far far away there were design flaws that were exploited. You'd think the dark side first order would have figured this out after the destruction of the first death star.
All that to say: Episode 7 released seventh is a safe, formulaic attempt to bring back the purists and restore the order within the force and unite the fan base. More importantly it brings the franchise back to where it should be. From this perspective, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens after the Empire Strikes Back as the First Order and the Jedi Return again, this film is a success.
Monday 30 November 2015
Spectre
I found three trailers on line for this one. I chose the 2:32 trailer, first. It should have ended at about the halfway point - way too much detail. Then I watched the "official trailer" with a length of 1:15. It was almost perfect. It's what a trailer should be... just enough and you barely see the villain. Hearing the villain's voice is just enough.
And what a villain! Christoph Waltz is a perfect combination of comical and menacing. He steals every scene he's in in Inglorious Bastards, he is perfect in Django Unchained and he's comically magnificent in The Green Hornet. And yes, I'm still pissed off at you, Seth Rogan, for butchering one of my favourites! I'm almost over it.
The wife said that while she likes Daniel Craig as an actor his face looks like "a bag of smashed assholes." I'm not sure what that means and when I asked her she said, "my brothers used to say that..." Um... okay.
I think he's a good actor but I don't like this new Bond franchise. Bond is supposed to be rugged, suave, a lady's man, detached from true emotion - gritty with a wry sense of humour.
This new Bond doesn't cut it for me. Too much back story. Too much emotion. Bond is supposed to do the job with style and finesse - car chases and explosions. Bond gets the girl, then moves on with no pining.
Spectre: number 4 in the new franchise. Casino Royale was okay. Quantum of Solace was the worst Bond film ever made and arguably one of the worst films of the spy genre, ever. Skyfall should have been called Cryfall, though Javier Bardem was freaking hilarious.
As I said, the short trailer for Spectre was very good, near perfect and if I have enough energy to bring back the Beerbohm Awards, it might warrant a nomination for best trailer.
So, I will see this film because of Christoph Waltz and because I suspect Craig may be close to the end of his Bond days. How many crap scripts can a good actor deal with before he moves on?
Please note: The views of the wife do not necessarily reflect the views of Beerbohmtastic.
And what a villain! Christoph Waltz is a perfect combination of comical and menacing. He steals every scene he's in in Inglorious Bastards, he is perfect in Django Unchained and he's comically magnificent in The Green Hornet. And yes, I'm still pissed off at you, Seth Rogan, for butchering one of my favourites! I'm almost over it.
The wife said that while she likes Daniel Craig as an actor his face looks like "a bag of smashed assholes." I'm not sure what that means and when I asked her she said, "my brothers used to say that..." Um... okay.
I think he's a good actor but I don't like this new Bond franchise. Bond is supposed to be rugged, suave, a lady's man, detached from true emotion - gritty with a wry sense of humour.
This new Bond doesn't cut it for me. Too much back story. Too much emotion. Bond is supposed to do the job with style and finesse - car chases and explosions. Bond gets the girl, then moves on with no pining.
Spectre: number 4 in the new franchise. Casino Royale was okay. Quantum of Solace was the worst Bond film ever made and arguably one of the worst films of the spy genre, ever. Skyfall should have been called Cryfall, though Javier Bardem was freaking hilarious.
As I said, the short trailer for Spectre was very good, near perfect and if I have enough energy to bring back the Beerbohm Awards, it might warrant a nomination for best trailer.
So, I will see this film because of Christoph Waltz and because I suspect Craig may be close to the end of his Bond days. How many crap scripts can a good actor deal with before he moves on?
Please note: The views of the wife do not necessarily reflect the views of Beerbohmtastic.
Friday 6 November 2015
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Last Friday night I participated in a fundraising event for a local charity. It was a music trivia game and my team was filled with my buddies. While our music knowledge was good enough to have us finish 29th out of 50 teams - we tanked on duets and trios and songs written after 2010 by women one-hit wonders.... yeah, I know.
One of my buddies, no, all of my buddies are movie buffs in some capacity. Yeah, we like sports and cars and I recently got my first chainsaw, which is f**king awesome... but I digress. During one of the breaks Kevin, who is the true Star Wars buff in the group, started talking about the new movie. He was so excited about it. Everyone else jumped into the conversation to give insights and opinions.
First three which were the last three were better than the last three which were the first three which were prequels to the first three which were the last three because the last three were the prequels and how the first episode which was the fourth episode if you go by release date but it had "episode 1" in the title really got the first three which were the last three off to a bad start and while the consensus was that six which is really three was better than four and five which were really one and two, the last three which are the first three were not very good.
But there was a ton of buzz around episode 7 which is episode 7. And the buzz was around everything being good again.
So, then I watched the trailer.
Carrie Fisher is back. Mark Hamill is back. Harrison Ford is back, but 30 years after episode 6 which was release third. Man, they look old. Man, I feel old. Man, the trailer was kind of depressing.
I loved Star Wars 4, 5 & 6 which were released as 1, 2 & 3 very much. But I didn't feel any excitement watching the trailer for 7 the first time. I didn't feel any excitement the second time, either. I'm not sure if it had something to do with my youngest son, Jack, wiping out my iPhone this morning and me not having a phone all day.
I watched it a third time and still nothing. Looks like the dark side is riding a high but the force is mounting a comeback. Kind of like the empire has struck back but now the Jedi are returning but in episode 7, not in 5 or 6 which were released as 2 and 3.
I didn't see Yoda.
I'll definitely watch this film because I loved 4, 5 & 6, but I'm not getting sucked into the hype.
Yeah, I know...
One of my buddies, no, all of my buddies are movie buffs in some capacity. Yeah, we like sports and cars and I recently got my first chainsaw, which is f**king awesome... but I digress. During one of the breaks Kevin, who is the true Star Wars buff in the group, started talking about the new movie. He was so excited about it. Everyone else jumped into the conversation to give insights and opinions.
First three which were the last three were better than the last three which were the first three which were prequels to the first three which were the last three because the last three were the prequels and how the first episode which was the fourth episode if you go by release date but it had "episode 1" in the title really got the first three which were the last three off to a bad start and while the consensus was that six which is really three was better than four and five which were really one and two, the last three which are the first three were not very good.
But there was a ton of buzz around episode 7 which is episode 7. And the buzz was around everything being good again.
So, then I watched the trailer.
Carrie Fisher is back. Mark Hamill is back. Harrison Ford is back, but 30 years after episode 6 which was release third. Man, they look old. Man, I feel old. Man, the trailer was kind of depressing.
I loved Star Wars 4, 5 & 6 which were released as 1, 2 & 3 very much. But I didn't feel any excitement watching the trailer for 7 the first time. I didn't feel any excitement the second time, either. I'm not sure if it had something to do with my youngest son, Jack, wiping out my iPhone this morning and me not having a phone all day.
I watched it a third time and still nothing. Looks like the dark side is riding a high but the force is mounting a comeback. Kind of like the empire has struck back but now the Jedi are returning but in episode 7, not in 5 or 6 which were released as 2 and 3.
I didn't see Yoda.
I'll definitely watch this film because I loved 4, 5 & 6, but I'm not getting sucked into the hype.
Yeah, I know...
Monday 26 October 2015
VIEWED: The Martian
My trailer review for The Martian said:
"The Martian trailer should have stopped when Matt Damon has to be MacGyver to survive. We don't need to know the politics and challenges around a rescue mission. All we need to know is that there might be one but Matt's going to do real cool stuff and endure challenges while he waits. I'm sure the wife will want to see this. I want to see it, too. Kristen Wiig looks serious. That I want to see."
Yup. The trailer pretty much gives the whole film away - other than the details, of course.
Yup. Matt does a lot of really cool stuff to survive - REALLY cool stuff.
Yup. Politics and challenges around the rescue mission were better served in the film than the trailer.
Yup. Yup Kristen Wiig is serious, but even when she's serious she seems dry and funny.
MacGyver on Mars. With all due respect.
While the film felt slow at times, Matt Damon's banter with the "camera" as he's logging his experiences seems real, charming, perfectly fitting. His performance, the story, the cast, were compelling and quite believable - for me anyway. That said, the slowish pace did reflect the long ordeal faced by Matt.
Blah, blah, blah...
I love this space movie stuff. As the credits were rolling and not knowing until that moment that it was a Ridley Scott film, confirmed and explained the feeling that this was indeed a satisfying film.
I asked the wife what she thought of it. She said: I liked it. It was good.
PLEASE NOTE: The views of the wife do not necessarily reflect the views of Beerbohmtastic.
In this case, however, they do.
"The Martian trailer should have stopped when Matt Damon has to be MacGyver to survive. We don't need to know the politics and challenges around a rescue mission. All we need to know is that there might be one but Matt's going to do real cool stuff and endure challenges while he waits. I'm sure the wife will want to see this. I want to see it, too. Kristen Wiig looks serious. That I want to see."
Yup. The trailer pretty much gives the whole film away - other than the details, of course.
Yup. Matt does a lot of really cool stuff to survive - REALLY cool stuff.
Yup. Politics and challenges around the rescue mission were better served in the film than the trailer.
Yup. Yup Kristen Wiig is serious, but even when she's serious she seems dry and funny.
MacGyver on Mars. With all due respect.
While the film felt slow at times, Matt Damon's banter with the "camera" as he's logging his experiences seems real, charming, perfectly fitting. His performance, the story, the cast, were compelling and quite believable - for me anyway. That said, the slowish pace did reflect the long ordeal faced by Matt.
Blah, blah, blah...
I love this space movie stuff. As the credits were rolling and not knowing until that moment that it was a Ridley Scott film, confirmed and explained the feeling that this was indeed a satisfying film.
I asked the wife what she thought of it. She said: I liked it. It was good.
PLEASE NOTE: The views of the wife do not necessarily reflect the views of Beerbohmtastic.
In this case, however, they do.
Monday 19 October 2015
VIEWED: Hotel Transylvania 2
It's funny how things work out. You say you don't want to do something and it ends up happening. Case in point: seeing Hotel Transylvania 2.
So, it's Saturday morning. My wife is at work and I'm hanging with my young sons. We're about to go for a bike ride when I get the first of two texts. The first text is from my wife reminding me that her friend and daughter are coming for dinner and spending the night. She asks if I'll make up the spare room.
I don't mind her friend and the daughter is a great kid and gets along well with my sons, but my wife and her friend spend all their time talking about yoga and cleansing shakes. They talk about bodies and child birth and then they do restorative poses - general well-being stuff. The first year of this subject matter was interesting, and I enjoyed watching the poses; now I just tune out. Her friend also doesn't shut up. Literally, I'm not sure she's ever taken a pause to take a breath. As a result, if you have to go to the bathroom, you have to interrupt her in mid-sentence. I was not looking forward to the evening.
The second text was from my buddy, Will, who asked if my son and I would like to join him and his son to see "Back to the Future." The original was playing at our local cinema. As we were having company I told him that my son couldn't go but I would be happy to join them. Very cool as I now got out of spending the evening with our company.
The wife informed me that I should double check as she wasn't sure "Back to the Future" was released yet - something about the 30 year anniversary. I ignored her as nothing would prevent me from getting out of the house...
On the way to the cinema, I checked to make sure it was playing. We got our dates wrong. The wife was right. No "Back to the Future." I texted her to tell her so (she likes when I'm wrong). So... we took his kid to see Hotel Transylvania 2.
My trailer review said:
"The only good thing I can say about the trailer for Hotel Transylvania 2 is that it was less than two-and-a-half minutes. Still 30 seconds too long but... actually it was 2 1/2 minutes too long. I trust when my kids are older and the world has accepted blood thirsty killers like werewolves and vampires as misunderstood BFF's that just need a hug, Sandler's Hotel Transylvania franchise will seem relevant."
Hotel Transylvania 2...
Lame synopsis: Drac (he of the worst Dracula voice in history) becomes a grandfather, by the age of five we'll know if grandson is a vampire or mortal. Daughter wants to move to California. Drac tries every trick in book to help grandson become vampire. Times have changed - monsters are accepted (already had this rant in trailer review). Drac's dad, Vlad, is invited to 5th birthday party. Vlad is a badass and his minions are badasses, too. All hell - well, mild hell... well, kid appropriate heck breaks loose and..... happy ending.
What struck me about the movie as I'm watching it is that it wasn't funny or entertaining at all. In the theatre the entire audience did not laugh at the same time during the "gags." Imagine a gag and one person to your right laughing at it. One person. There was one lady behind me to my left that laughed at every other gag. The guy behind me laughed once at an odd time but it was a belly laugh so distracting that two people laughed after him - but I think they were only laughing at him.
All that to say this move represented yet another 90 minutes of my life that I will never get back.
What a boring, uninspired, waste of time.
So, it's Saturday morning. My wife is at work and I'm hanging with my young sons. We're about to go for a bike ride when I get the first of two texts. The first text is from my wife reminding me that her friend and daughter are coming for dinner and spending the night. She asks if I'll make up the spare room.
I don't mind her friend and the daughter is a great kid and gets along well with my sons, but my wife and her friend spend all their time talking about yoga and cleansing shakes. They talk about bodies and child birth and then they do restorative poses - general well-being stuff. The first year of this subject matter was interesting, and I enjoyed watching the poses; now I just tune out. Her friend also doesn't shut up. Literally, I'm not sure she's ever taken a pause to take a breath. As a result, if you have to go to the bathroom, you have to interrupt her in mid-sentence. I was not looking forward to the evening.
The second text was from my buddy, Will, who asked if my son and I would like to join him and his son to see "Back to the Future." The original was playing at our local cinema. As we were having company I told him that my son couldn't go but I would be happy to join them. Very cool as I now got out of spending the evening with our company.
The wife informed me that I should double check as she wasn't sure "Back to the Future" was released yet - something about the 30 year anniversary. I ignored her as nothing would prevent me from getting out of the house...
On the way to the cinema, I checked to make sure it was playing. We got our dates wrong. The wife was right. No "Back to the Future." I texted her to tell her so (she likes when I'm wrong). So... we took his kid to see Hotel Transylvania 2.
My trailer review said:
"The only good thing I can say about the trailer for Hotel Transylvania 2 is that it was less than two-and-a-half minutes. Still 30 seconds too long but... actually it was 2 1/2 minutes too long. I trust when my kids are older and the world has accepted blood thirsty killers like werewolves and vampires as misunderstood BFF's that just need a hug, Sandler's Hotel Transylvania franchise will seem relevant."
Hotel Transylvania 2...
Lame synopsis: Drac (he of the worst Dracula voice in history) becomes a grandfather, by the age of five we'll know if grandson is a vampire or mortal. Daughter wants to move to California. Drac tries every trick in book to help grandson become vampire. Times have changed - monsters are accepted (already had this rant in trailer review). Drac's dad, Vlad, is invited to 5th birthday party. Vlad is a badass and his minions are badasses, too. All hell - well, mild hell... well, kid appropriate heck breaks loose and..... happy ending.
What struck me about the movie as I'm watching it is that it wasn't funny or entertaining at all. In the theatre the entire audience did not laugh at the same time during the "gags." Imagine a gag and one person to your right laughing at it. One person. There was one lady behind me to my left that laughed at every other gag. The guy behind me laughed once at an odd time but it was a belly laugh so distracting that two people laughed after him - but I think they were only laughing at him.
All that to say this move represented yet another 90 minutes of my life that I will never get back.
What a boring, uninspired, waste of time.
Wednesday 7 October 2015
Hotel Transylvania 2
Recap:
My trailer review of the first Hotel Transylvania said:
'The wife had been bugging me for a week to go and see the film and I kept refusing. She finally convinced me to watch the trailer. I'm glad I did. Any film that pays homage - even comically - to something I love(d) [vampires and werewolves] is a film I want to see. And, the wife is happy. Everybody wins, unless it's crap. Stay tuned.'
After I saw it, I wrote:
"Hotel Transylvania was crap. Great cast was wasted. Sandler's Dracula voice was, arguably, the worst Dracula voice in the history of Dracula impersonators. You know how some movies made for kids have elements that adults can appreciate? This isn't one of them. The wife said it was a boring movie with a weak story. She's so diplomatic."
That said, Hotel Transylvania Also, or Also Hotel Transylvania or Hotel Transylvania, Too is nonsense. Suspension of disbelief? Not for this crap. Viewers seemed to enjoy it given the viewer ratings, so what do I know? But what the f**K happened to Adam Sandler? The lovable, goof/goofy film maker is now making more DRECK (Yiddish for "shit") than anything remotely entertaining.
I grew up fearing Frankenstein's monster and vampires and werewolves and the bogeyman etc. I loved watching old horror/monster/sci-fi flicks. While there would be the occasional misunderstood monster (Okay, Frankenstein's creation could have gone either way), vampires, werewolves and zombies are scary murderers and not meant to be friendly. So, if my 5 year old watches Hotel Transylvania and thinks all these monsters are good, then at age 7 stumbles upon An American Werewolf in London or Bram Stoker's Dracula in the old DVD bin thinking these are stories about nice monsters, will he be more traumatised or less traumatised?
Maybe I'm just getting less tolerant as I get older and strive to be a responsible parent. Maybe I'm just a judgemental asshole...
The Hotel Transylvania 2 trailer tells the story of Dracula's daughter who marries a mortal-ish guy (who she met in the first movie), they now have a son and grandpa Drac is worried that we will not be a blood sucking murderer. Drac's daughter just wants the kid to have a normal life.
How twisted and ass-backwards is that? I wish I had more time to rant on this one... The first one was crap. This one looks like crap and Adam Sandler should just stop the nonsense and make Happy Gilmore 2 or Happier Gilmore.
The only good thing I can say about the trailer for Hotel Transylvania 2 is that it was less than two-and-a-half minutes. Still 30 seconds too long but... actually it was 2 1/2 minutes too long. I trust when my kids are older and the world has accepted blood thirsty killers like werewolves and vampires as misunderstood BFF's that just need a hug, Sandler's Hotel Transylvania franchise will seem relevant.
My trailer review of the first Hotel Transylvania said:
'The wife had been bugging me for a week to go and see the film and I kept refusing. She finally convinced me to watch the trailer. I'm glad I did. Any film that pays homage - even comically - to something I love(d) [vampires and werewolves] is a film I want to see. And, the wife is happy. Everybody wins, unless it's crap. Stay tuned.'
After I saw it, I wrote:
"Hotel Transylvania was crap. Great cast was wasted. Sandler's Dracula voice was, arguably, the worst Dracula voice in the history of Dracula impersonators. You know how some movies made for kids have elements that adults can appreciate? This isn't one of them. The wife said it was a boring movie with a weak story. She's so diplomatic."
That said, Hotel Transylvania Also, or Also Hotel Transylvania or Hotel Transylvania, Too is nonsense. Suspension of disbelief? Not for this crap. Viewers seemed to enjoy it given the viewer ratings, so what do I know? But what the f**K happened to Adam Sandler? The lovable, goof/goofy film maker is now making more DRECK (Yiddish for "shit") than anything remotely entertaining.
I grew up fearing Frankenstein's monster and vampires and werewolves and the bogeyman etc. I loved watching old horror/monster/sci-fi flicks. While there would be the occasional misunderstood monster (Okay, Frankenstein's creation could have gone either way), vampires, werewolves and zombies are scary murderers and not meant to be friendly. So, if my 5 year old watches Hotel Transylvania and thinks all these monsters are good, then at age 7 stumbles upon An American Werewolf in London or Bram Stoker's Dracula in the old DVD bin thinking these are stories about nice monsters, will he be more traumatised or less traumatised?
Maybe I'm just getting less tolerant as I get older and strive to be a responsible parent. Maybe I'm just a judgemental asshole...
The Hotel Transylvania 2 trailer tells the story of Dracula's daughter who marries a mortal-ish guy (who she met in the first movie), they now have a son and grandpa Drac is worried that we will not be a blood sucking murderer. Drac's daughter just wants the kid to have a normal life.
How twisted and ass-backwards is that? I wish I had more time to rant on this one... The first one was crap. This one looks like crap and Adam Sandler should just stop the nonsense and make Happy Gilmore 2 or Happier Gilmore.
The only good thing I can say about the trailer for Hotel Transylvania 2 is that it was less than two-and-a-half minutes. Still 30 seconds too long but... actually it was 2 1/2 minutes too long. I trust when my kids are older and the world has accepted blood thirsty killers like werewolves and vampires as misunderstood BFF's that just need a hug, Sandler's Hotel Transylvania franchise will seem relevant.
Monday 5 October 2015
The Martian
You know, after taking 18 months off from the blog due to the changing priorities in my life (haven't blogged since my second son, Jack, was born on March 13, 2014), I think movie trailers are worse... Well, maybe that's not entirely true.
The Avengers: Age of Ultron was a blur. I couldn't remember any part of the trailer other than me thinking "holy F**K, I can't wait to see this movie. Or Mad Max... "holy F**K George Miller! Holy F**K Mad Max!" Or even Hitman 2: Agent 47. "Holy F**K this looks cool..."
So, maybe I haven't been paying attention.
The Martian. The trailer is over 3 minutes long. 3 minutes. I could tell you my life story in 3 minutes. You could create life in 3 minutes (or less). A movie trailer should never be more than 2 minutes. I've been saying that, minus an 18 month hiatus, for as long as I've been blogging. For as long as trailers have been spoiling movies for movie lovers everywhere....
Matt Damon. Love him or hate him he's an A-lister. Let's face it, he's got a sh*t load of talent and he's extremely versatile. Every time I hear his name I think of how his name was spoken in South Park. Regardless, I like most of his movies. I heard he's the next Robin in the up-coming Batman and Robin starring Ben Affleck as Batman.
The Martian, trailer: So, team goes to Mars. Chaos ensues. All presumed dead. One survives. He has about 31 days worth of food/supplies. It will take four years for him to be rescued. Serious predicament. So, he has to become MacGyver on Mars.
I used to work with this guy that could fix anything with a book of matches and a paper clip. I once saw him retrieve data from a USB stick that was run over by a car. He, of course, used a book of matches and a paper clip. He used to drive a diesel VW. It was an older one so he got it for gas mileage and not the promise of eco-friendly diesel. Just sayin'. While someone was tail gating him, he figured out that if you hold your wiper/washer fluid so that it generates a steady stream - in some VW's the stream sometimes jets over the windshield to the car behind it - down shift at mid-to high RPM so that the black smoke of diesel fires out, and the water combines with exhaust hits the windshield of the car behind you and it get's covered in soot. We used to call him MacGyver.
The Martian trailer should have stopped when Matt Damon has to be MacGyver to survive. We don't need to know the politics and challenges around a rescue mission. All we need to know is that there might be one but Matt's going to do real cool stuff and endure challenges while he waits.
I'm sure the wife will want to see this. I want to see it, too. Kristen Wiig looks serious. That I want to see.
The Avengers: Age of Ultron was a blur. I couldn't remember any part of the trailer other than me thinking "holy F**K, I can't wait to see this movie. Or Mad Max... "holy F**K George Miller! Holy F**K Mad Max!" Or even Hitman 2: Agent 47. "Holy F**K this looks cool..."
So, maybe I haven't been paying attention.
The Martian. The trailer is over 3 minutes long. 3 minutes. I could tell you my life story in 3 minutes. You could create life in 3 minutes (or less). A movie trailer should never be more than 2 minutes. I've been saying that, minus an 18 month hiatus, for as long as I've been blogging. For as long as trailers have been spoiling movies for movie lovers everywhere....
Matt Damon. Love him or hate him he's an A-lister. Let's face it, he's got a sh*t load of talent and he's extremely versatile. Every time I hear his name I think of how his name was spoken in South Park. Regardless, I like most of his movies. I heard he's the next Robin in the up-coming Batman and Robin starring Ben Affleck as Batman.
The Martian, trailer: So, team goes to Mars. Chaos ensues. All presumed dead. One survives. He has about 31 days worth of food/supplies. It will take four years for him to be rescued. Serious predicament. So, he has to become MacGyver on Mars.
I used to work with this guy that could fix anything with a book of matches and a paper clip. I once saw him retrieve data from a USB stick that was run over by a car. He, of course, used a book of matches and a paper clip. He used to drive a diesel VW. It was an older one so he got it for gas mileage and not the promise of eco-friendly diesel. Just sayin'. While someone was tail gating him, he figured out that if you hold your wiper/washer fluid so that it generates a steady stream - in some VW's the stream sometimes jets over the windshield to the car behind it - down shift at mid-to high RPM so that the black smoke of diesel fires out, and the water combines with exhaust hits the windshield of the car behind you and it get's covered in soot. We used to call him MacGyver.
The Martian trailer should have stopped when Matt Damon has to be MacGyver to survive. We don't need to know the politics and challenges around a rescue mission. All we need to know is that there might be one but Matt's going to do real cool stuff and endure challenges while he waits.
I'm sure the wife will want to see this. I want to see it, too. Kristen Wiig looks serious. That I want to see.
Monday 25 August 2014
Not since... baby Jack was born
First, let me apologise to the hard working filmakers who have sent me trailers and films to review. My last blog post was on the afternoon of March 13. On the evening of March 13, my second son was born and I haven't written a review since. Busy times with two small kids...
I can't promise that I'll be back with the same level of frequency and commitment, but I will at some point be back.
I've viewed dozens of movies though and hopefully, very soon, my silly opinions and observations will make it back to the blog.
In the meantime, if you've sent me something to review, please resend it and I'll do my best to review it soon.
All the best and thanks for your patience,
Mike
I can't promise that I'll be back with the same level of frequency and commitment, but I will at some point be back.
I've viewed dozens of movies though and hopefully, very soon, my silly opinions and observations will make it back to the blog.
In the meantime, if you've sent me something to review, please resend it and I'll do my best to review it soon.
All the best and thanks for your patience,
Mike
Thursday 13 March 2014
VIEWED: OLDBOY (2013)
My trailer review for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy said...
"I was worried that there would be clues to the twisted levels of revenge in the Spike Lee trailer for Oldboy and during the third viewing watched closely for the spoilers. Fortunately, there was nothing blatant, though I had heard that there is one trailer out there that does actually spoil it. I hope it isn't true. Spoilers in the trailer would completely take away the "holy shit" and "oh no" moments in this film.
Oh Spike. I want to love this movie but I also want to hate this movie. My curiosity will likely draw me to it the day it opens. So, I ask again...
Do you think you can do it justice, Spike? Well? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya?"
The short answer is: no.
While it took a while to finally watch this film - frankly it disappeared from the cinemas faster than I could Google where it was playing... seriously. Not a good sign.
Since I don't physically rent movies - not since the fall of Blockbuster - I didn't know where to see it. Then, last week it was on CinemaNow.
While the cast was very good and Josh Brolin was outstanding... really. He was on par with Choi Min-Sik in the original. Unfortunately, Spike's interpretation fell short. The story and disturbing subject matter where pretty much the same (albeit watered down), but it didn't have the same impact. A weak delivery, I suppose.
I watched it wanting to like it because I liked the original so much and I have much respect for Spike Lee and how he communicates to the audience through his films.
Sadly, watching Spike's version of Oldboy was like going on a blind date hoping your date wouldn't be too unattractive. When you see your date you think, hmmm, not so bad maybe we could at least have sex. So you try to enjoy the evening but in the process you feel like something is missing. Maybe it's substance. Maybe it's creativity or maybe it should never have happened because there is no connection.
I really think this remake should never have happened.
"I was worried that there would be clues to the twisted levels of revenge in the Spike Lee trailer for Oldboy and during the third viewing watched closely for the spoilers. Fortunately, there was nothing blatant, though I had heard that there is one trailer out there that does actually spoil it. I hope it isn't true. Spoilers in the trailer would completely take away the "holy shit" and "oh no" moments in this film.
Oh Spike. I want to love this movie but I also want to hate this movie. My curiosity will likely draw me to it the day it opens. So, I ask again...
Do you think you can do it justice, Spike? Well? Do ya? Do ya? Do ya?"
The short answer is: no.
While it took a while to finally watch this film - frankly it disappeared from the cinemas faster than I could Google where it was playing... seriously. Not a good sign.
Since I don't physically rent movies - not since the fall of Blockbuster - I didn't know where to see it. Then, last week it was on CinemaNow.
While the cast was very good and Josh Brolin was outstanding... really. He was on par with Choi Min-Sik in the original. Unfortunately, Spike's interpretation fell short. The story and disturbing subject matter where pretty much the same (albeit watered down), but it didn't have the same impact. A weak delivery, I suppose.
I watched it wanting to like it because I liked the original so much and I have much respect for Spike Lee and how he communicates to the audience through his films.
Sadly, watching Spike's version of Oldboy was like going on a blind date hoping your date wouldn't be too unattractive. When you see your date you think, hmmm, not so bad maybe we could at least have sex. So you try to enjoy the evening but in the process you feel like something is missing. Maybe it's substance. Maybe it's creativity or maybe it should never have happened because there is no connection.
I really think this remake should never have happened.
Thursday 9 January 2014
VIEWED: American Hustle
In case your scroll down doesn't work, here's what I said about the trailer for American Hustle:
Is there any role that Christian Bale cannot fully embrace and make brilliant?... It's been a while since I've reviewed a trailer but I can say with confidence that the trailer for American Hustle is one of the best I've seen in recent memory... Oh, and the wife says we'll be seeing it tonight.
We saw it. Bale was brilliant. Renner was brilliant. Adams was brilliant. Lawrence was not quite as brilliant but still very good. Cooper was Cooper, which is good but not brilliant. Louis C.K. was Louis C.K. which is not as brilliant as the first three and not as good as Cooper's good, but still pretty good. Di Nero was super brilliant. Though the brilliance was concentrated as he was only on screen for a short time, but that short time was on par brilliant with the first three. At 70, he is still an intimidating presence.
The story was very entertaining. There were no real dull moments. The pace was good and every scene seemed well placed and relevant. The character development was great, too. I really felt like I understood each character and each character's motivation.
American Hustle is a well crafted, well cast, well written, nicely executed film. I loved it.
I asked the wife what she thought of it.
She said, "it was okay."
Please note the views of the wife do not reflect the views of Beerbohmtastic.
Is there any role that Christian Bale cannot fully embrace and make brilliant?... It's been a while since I've reviewed a trailer but I can say with confidence that the trailer for American Hustle is one of the best I've seen in recent memory... Oh, and the wife says we'll be seeing it tonight.
We saw it. Bale was brilliant. Renner was brilliant. Adams was brilliant. Lawrence was not quite as brilliant but still very good. Cooper was Cooper, which is good but not brilliant. Louis C.K. was Louis C.K. which is not as brilliant as the first three and not as good as Cooper's good, but still pretty good. Di Nero was super brilliant. Though the brilliance was concentrated as he was only on screen for a short time, but that short time was on par brilliant with the first three. At 70, he is still an intimidating presence.
The story was very entertaining. There were no real dull moments. The pace was good and every scene seemed well placed and relevant. The character development was great, too. I really felt like I understood each character and each character's motivation.
American Hustle is a well crafted, well cast, well written, nicely executed film. I loved it.
I asked the wife what she thought of it.
She said, "it was okay."
Please note the views of the wife do not reflect the views of Beerbohmtastic.
Wednesday 8 January 2014
American Hustle
It's been a while since I've reviewed a trailer. It's been a while since I've raved about a trailer. Maybe I've forgotten just how frustrating trailers can be... This one was not frustrating at all.
Is there any role that Christian Bale cannot fully embrace and make brilliant? The Fighter? The Machinist? American Psycho? Batman? Reign of Fire? The killer in "Shaft"? I can think of only one actor that can drastically change his physical appearance for a role: Robert De Niro (who has a cameo in this film, by the way). Need I say more? If Bale doesn't win an Oscar during his career than the Academy is flawed... wait a minute... has Depp won an Oscar, yet?
The trailer for American Hustle gives away enough without giving away anything. There is a story that intertwines hustlers with politicians and the FBI. There is some kind of sting operation and we learn from the trailer that every character's motives are different. There are great clips that provide insight into each character and they are all convincing.
It was thoroughly refreshing to watch this trailer. I was sucked in by the look and feel, but more so by how Christian Bale looked and spoke. Amy Adams showed sexy intensity, Bradley Cooper continues to impress as he plays another asshole. Jennifer Lawrence plays the Jersey bombshell wife perfectly. It's a nice change from Katniss. Louis C.K. is hilariously deadpan, and Jeremy Renner gives a best supporting actor Oscar worthy performance. New respect for Renner. He really is that good.
As I said, It's been a while since I've reviewed a trailer but I can say with confidence that the trailer for American Hustle is one of the best I've seen in recent memory...
Oh, and the wife says we'll be seeing it tonight.
Is there any role that Christian Bale cannot fully embrace and make brilliant? The Fighter? The Machinist? American Psycho? Batman? Reign of Fire? The killer in "Shaft"? I can think of only one actor that can drastically change his physical appearance for a role: Robert De Niro (who has a cameo in this film, by the way). Need I say more? If Bale doesn't win an Oscar during his career than the Academy is flawed... wait a minute... has Depp won an Oscar, yet?
The trailer for American Hustle gives away enough without giving away anything. There is a story that intertwines hustlers with politicians and the FBI. There is some kind of sting operation and we learn from the trailer that every character's motives are different. There are great clips that provide insight into each character and they are all convincing.
It was thoroughly refreshing to watch this trailer. I was sucked in by the look and feel, but more so by how Christian Bale looked and spoke. Amy Adams showed sexy intensity, Bradley Cooper continues to impress as he plays another asshole. Jennifer Lawrence plays the Jersey bombshell wife perfectly. It's a nice change from Katniss. Louis C.K. is hilariously deadpan, and Jeremy Renner gives a best supporting actor Oscar worthy performance. New respect for Renner. He really is that good.
As I said, It's been a while since I've reviewed a trailer but I can say with confidence that the trailer for American Hustle is one of the best I've seen in recent memory...
Oh, and the wife says we'll be seeing it tonight.
Monday 6 January 2014
The 3rd Annual Beerbohm Awards
The Autumn months are usually the prep months for the annual Beerbohm Awards. I spend some time viewing reviewing potential nominees for the various categories.
In the Autumn months of 2013, there were no reviews, though I was dragged by the wife to see a half dozen movies and, of course, Canadian, American and U.K. Netflix continue to provide non-reviewed entertainment.
What can I say... life sometimes gets in the way of more selfish pursuits. I guess that's the way it should be.
That said, the 2014 Beerbohm Awards will be slightly different from the previous two years. While I do review trailers of films that are nominated for Oscars, this year's Beerbohm Awards will follow the Oscar format for only the following categories (sorry fans, both of you):
Best Picture Trailer
Best Actor in a Trailer
Best Actress in a Trailer
Best Supporting Actor in a Trailer
Best Supporting Actress in a Trailer
If I receive submissions (so please send links to your trailers either email or twitter @beerbohmtastic) I will try to include:
Best Independent Film Trailer
Best Documentary Trailer.
Next year I hope to return to the previous year's format - unless this format is preferred...
More details below the impressive hardware...
As always, your nominations before January 31, 2013 are welcome.
Either comment on the blog, tweet @Beerbohmtastic or email your nominations to beerbohmtastic@gmail.com.
Thank you for reading and following and sending stuff and for loving movies (and trailers) as much as I do.
Here are last year's Oscar Best Picture trailer reviews: http://beerbohmtastic.blogspot.ca/2013/02/2013-oscar-best-picture-trailer-reviews.html
Here are last year's winners: http://beerbohmtastic.blogspot.ca/2013/03/here-are-your-winners-for-2nd-annual.html
Mike
In the Autumn months of 2013, there were no reviews, though I was dragged by the wife to see a half dozen movies and, of course, Canadian, American and U.K. Netflix continue to provide non-reviewed entertainment.
What can I say... life sometimes gets in the way of more selfish pursuits. I guess that's the way it should be.
That said, the 2014 Beerbohm Awards will be slightly different from the previous two years. While I do review trailers of films that are nominated for Oscars, this year's Beerbohm Awards will follow the Oscar format for only the following categories (sorry fans, both of you):
Best Picture Trailer
Best Actor in a Trailer
Best Actress in a Trailer
Best Supporting Actor in a Trailer
Best Supporting Actress in a Trailer
If I receive submissions (so please send links to your trailers either email or twitter @beerbohmtastic) I will try to include:
Best Independent Film Trailer
Best Documentary Trailer.
Next year I hope to return to the previous year's format - unless this format is preferred...
More details below the impressive hardware...
As always, your nominations before January 31, 2013 are welcome.
Either comment on the blog, tweet @Beerbohmtastic or email your nominations to beerbohmtastic@gmail.com.
Thank you for reading and following and sending stuff and for loving movies (and trailers) as much as I do.
Here are last year's Oscar Best Picture trailer reviews: http://beerbohmtastic.blogspot.ca/2013/02/2013-oscar-best-picture-trailer-reviews.html
Here are last year's winners: http://beerbohmtastic.blogspot.ca/2013/03/here-are-your-winners-for-2nd-annual.html
Mike
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