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Thursday 26 January 2012


I think I mentioned in my trailer review of Colombiana that I like movies where hot girls kick ass.  So, did I like Haywire when it was called Colombiana?

I really like movies where the hot girl is trained to kick ass, then is betrayed by the ones that trained her and then they can't stop her.  So, did I like Haywire when it was called La Femme Nakita?

I really like movies where the protagonist has to fight his/her way through a sea of peer assassins in order to get to the people who betrayed them and gave the orders to have them killed.  Did I like Haywire when it was Matt Damon in the Bourne Identity franchise?  Well, no.  Matt may be hot, but he's not a hot chick. 

Kate Beckinsale is the current queen hot girl kicking ass with the Underworld franchise.  I've seen some of them and always find her entertaining.  In other things, not so much, though she was smokin' hot in Laurel Canyon. 

But Haywire has a pretty good supporting cast.  Ewan McGregor is a great actor and should have won an Oscar for Big Fish.  Fassbender is in every other movie these days.  Paxton has done some interesting work over the years.  What can you say about Michael Douglas that he probably hasn't already patted himself on the back for?  He's made some good movies, though.  I don't think I've seen Channing Tatum in anything but he couldn't be the offspring of Stockard Channing and Tatum O'Neill, could he?  I still haven't forgiven Banderas for portraying Armand as such a pussy in Interview with a Vampire in 1994. 

All that said, Haywire could easily be Colombiana (which the wife said was "shit") or La Femme Nakita or even the female Bourne Identity.  But you know what? Whether this movie will be as predictable as the trailer looks or not, the hot girl kicking ass is still fun to watch. 


  1. Watched it last night. 5 out of ten. Nothing different, nothing special. Soderbergh has to stop calling in favors from A-listers because he gets fascinated with mediocre women. Waste of a stellar cast.

  2. Greggie the Curmudgeon27 January 2012 at 14:59

    And few can compare to La Femme Nakita (um, the Luc Besson original - not the crappy US version - ala Bridget (Gag-Me) Fonda or the stretch-this-beyond-all-that's-celluloidally-sacred-and-why-can't-we-just-let-good-things-die-TV-series-with-pouty-Peta-Wilson). How's that for a run-on rant?