Please email any comments or review requests to beerbohmtastic@gmail.com.
Follow Beerbohmtastic on Twitter @beerbohmtastic.

Monday 27 May 2013

VIEWED: Parker

My trailer review for Parker said...

I know I've said this before but...

Jason Statham does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.  Jason Statham goes killing.  And, If you can see Jason Statham, he can see you.  If you can't see Jason Statham you may be only seconds away from death.

The trailer for Parker was exactly what it was supposed to be: Statham kicking ass.  That's good enough for me.

The wife rented Parker for me this past weekend.  Then we had an argument because she thinks The Mandarin is a better arch villain then Bane, I say no because Bane didn't have a logo.  So, she went to the other room to watch the chick flick she also rented and I watched Parker.

There was something wrong with how Parker kicks ass in Parker. Well, maybe not wrong but not in the typical Statham is the new Chuck Norris, way.  Parker opens with Statham dressed as a priest and, despite committing a crime with his "crew" he shows calm and compassion, like his disguise would suggest. He has flashbacks to his girlfriend and her father... la la la.... happy happy, even though they discuss heists.

As soon as he removes the priest outfit, he's double crossed (not just for that reason) and all that biblical, "judge not lest ye be judged.." "do unto others..." "turn the other cheek..." disappears like so much of the acting.

Then it's just another revenge picture.

You see, when I see a Statham movie all I really want to see is Jason Statham kicking ass in the most creative and acrobatic ways.  I don't really care much about the story.

While Parker is okay for what it is, there was just too much story and while seeing J-LO's backside was nice, and Statham's acting isn't bad, the real draw is the ass-kicking.  Sadly, there just wasn't enough backside or ass-kicking in-between the story.

Still, Jason Statham is the new Chuck Norris and I repeat this because it does apply to Parker...

"If you can't see Jason Statham you may be only seconds away from death."

So true.

No comments:

Post a Comment