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Wednesday 7 October 2015

Hotel Transylvania 2


My trailer review of the first Hotel Transylvania said:
'The wife had been bugging me for a week to go and see the film and I kept refusing.  She finally convinced me to watch the trailer.  I'm glad I did.  Any film that pays homage - even comically - to something I love(d) [vampires and werewolves] is a film I want to see.  And, the wife is happy.  Everybody wins, unless it's crap. Stay tuned.'

After I saw it, I wrote:
"Hotel Transylvania was crap.  Great cast was wasted.  Sandler's Dracula voice was, arguably, the worst Dracula voice in the history of Dracula impersonators. You know how some movies made for kids have elements that adults can appreciate?  This isn't one of them. The wife said it was a boring movie with a weak story.  She's so diplomatic."

That said, Hotel Transylvania Also, or Also Hotel Transylvania or Hotel Transylvania, Too is nonsense. Suspension of disbelief? Not for this crap. Viewers seemed to enjoy it given the viewer ratings, so what do I know? But what the f**K happened to Adam Sandler?  The lovable, goof/goofy film maker is now making more DRECK (Yiddish for "shit") than anything remotely entertaining.

I grew up fearing Frankenstein's monster and vampires and werewolves and the bogeyman etc.  I loved watching old horror/monster/sci-fi flicks. While there would be the occasional misunderstood monster (Okay, Frankenstein's creation could have gone either way), vampires, werewolves and zombies are scary murderers and not meant to be friendly.  So, if my 5 year old watches Hotel Transylvania and thinks all these monsters are good, then at age 7 stumbles upon An American Werewolf in London or Bram Stoker's Dracula in the old DVD bin thinking these are stories about nice monsters, will he be more traumatised or less traumatised?

Maybe I'm just getting less tolerant as I get older and strive to be a responsible parent.  Maybe I'm just a judgemental asshole...

The Hotel Transylvania 2 trailer tells the story of Dracula's daughter who marries a mortal-ish guy (who she met in the first movie), they now have a son and grandpa Drac is worried that we will not be a blood sucking murderer.  Drac's daughter just wants the kid to have a normal life.

How twisted and ass-backwards is that?  I wish I had more time to rant on this one... The first one was crap. This one looks like crap and Adam Sandler should just stop the nonsense and make Happy Gilmore 2 or Happier Gilmore.

The only good thing I can say about the trailer for Hotel Transylvania 2 is that it was less than two-and-a-half minutes.  Still 30 seconds too long but... actually it was 2 1/2 minutes too long.  I trust when my kids are older and the world has accepted blood thirsty killers like werewolves and vampires as misunderstood BFF's that just need a hug, Sandler's Hotel Transylvania franchise will seem relevant.

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