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Thursday 22 August 2013

VIEWED: The Wolverine

My trailer review for The Wolverine said...

"The coolest part of the trailer is when Wolverine squares off against what looks to be a robot.  It made me think of Real Steel, which I begrudgingly liked.  It also made me think of monsters vs. robots as in Pacific Rim... sigh.

I enjoyed the trailer very much and even if I didn't, nothing could stop me... not even the wife... from seeing The Wolverine."

The wife let me choose a movie, other than Pacific Rim, last night.  I chose The Wolverine.

The coolest part of the trailer, when Wolverine squares off against the robot Samurai was okay, but better in the trailer than in the film.  This movie just didn't feel like, or do any justice to the excellence that is the X-Men franchise.   On the contrary, it cheapened it to the point where I'm not sure I'll see another Wolverine movie.  That sucks because Wolverine is my favourite character in X-Men AND as I mentioned in the trailer review, represents the inner struggle of every man.  He's a true anti-hero and it works beautifully.

While the spirit of The Wolverine is sort of captured in the film.  The spirit of X-Men is completely lost. We leave the world where humans and mutants struggle to co-exist and enter the world of Japanese corporate power, government corruption and the Yakuza (Japanese mob).  And somehow they are, at one moment working together and at another killing each other.  Don't get me wrong, the story wasn't confusing at all, just kind of... well... dumb.  Dumb, other than The Wolverine coming to terms with who his is... for now... until the next film.

That said, Jackman was good - he really is Wolverine.  The supporting cast was solid, though the villain mutant, Viper, seemed void of any substance, she was almost hollow... maybe that's the point of a reptile?

The Wolverine, for me, was a huge disappointment.

I asked the wife what she thought of The Wolverine.  She said, "next time I'm choosing the movie."

I said, "next time I'm seeing Pacific Rim alone."

We drove home in silence.

Thursday 15 August 2013

The Wolverine

I really like X-Men. I really like the film franchise, too.

Is this the sequel to X-Men Origins: Wolverine? I like that the title, The Wolverine, confuses me.  It's not called X-Men Origins: Wolverine 2, or too, or also...  The message I read is that this familiar title may or may not be a sequel or stand-alone. Confusing.

X-Men: First Class, which I really liked, should have been called X-Men Origins: X-Men. Why isn't there an X-Men Origins: Storm, or X-Men Origins: Jean Grey, or X-Men Origins: Cyclops?

I'll tell you why, because the other characters, with the exception of Professor Xavier and Magneto, are two dimensional where Wolverine is multi-dimensional.  Wolverine is my favourite.  Wolverine's story is the coolest. There is something classic about the anti-hero.  His struggles mirror our struggles, but on a larger scale of course.  His inner battle is our inner battle - good, evil, right, wrong - struggling with ourselves, our identities and our purpose.  If you have a conscience and a soul you understand the importance of Wolverine.

The trailer is pretty good. It's one of those rare trailers that didn't seem too long even though it is well over 2 minutes.  It has a Dark Knight Rises, Man of Steel, Iron Man 3 spirit to it.  You know, just when the hero is down, he's up again, stronger than ever.  The old, you have to hit rock bottom before you can rise to become more than what you are... "forwards not backwards, upwards not forwards and forever twirling, twirling...."

The coolest part of the trailer is when Wolverine squares off against what looks to be a robot.  It made me think of Real Steel, which I begrudgingly liked.  It also made me think of monsters vs. robots as in Pacific Rim... sigh.

I enjoyed the trailer very much and even if I didn't, nothing could stop me... not even the wife... from seeing The Wolverine.


Monday 12 August 2013

We're the Millers

The wife wants to see this film.  I still haven't seen Pacific Rim.

I continue to express how annoying it is to watch a trailer that is over a minute too long.  This trailer should have ended at the 1:36 mark and I may have been mildly interested in seeing the outcome.

I can't express enough how much I'm beginning to despise the glorification of criminal behaviour on film, especially when it's presented as comedy.  Oh, how fun... let's lie, cheat and do something dangerous and illegal and have a good laugh about it and not get killed and not go to prison and maybe learn a lesson and find love and...

Seriously?  This is what Hollywood is producing?  

INDEPENDENT FILM MAKERS, PLEASE SEND ME MORE OF YOUR TRAILERS!

My friend saw We're the Millers on the weekend and said it was funny, but really stupid.

I must be getting old and was recently told that I've lost touch with my sophomoric side.  Maybe so, but when I watch a trailer that tells me pretty much everything about the film I feel like I've been given the appetizer as the main course, so why should I bother paying for the main course?

Sadly, I know I will be forced to watch this nonsense because I am a good husband and will take it for the team.  Besides, if I concede to seeing this idiotic looking film, I think I might be able to get a free pass to see Pacific Rim.

'Nuff said.




Wednesday 7 August 2013

VIEWED: 2 Guns

My trailer review for 2 Guns - in case your "scroll down" doesn't work - said...

"But seriously, even the short trailer tells it all.  It looks like they are double crossed by their respective organizations and now must team up in order to survive.  The only thing that is left to be answered is whether they get the money to the CIA but, if the sequence is correct in the trailer, it kind of looks like Denzel blows it up...  I'm not sure where this movie will go beyond what the short trailer told me/spoiled for me.  I expressed this to the wife and she said, 'we are not seeing Pacific Rim.'

If I had a choice I wouldn't see 2 Guns."

In all fairness, there was a bit more to it than what the short trailer showed, but really not much more.  It was mildly entertaining.  It had a good combination of humour and action and the supporting cast, especially Bill Paxton, were solid.

However, all the best stunts were in the short trailer - actually the gist of the movie, including outcome, was in the short trailer. If I had seen the 3 minute trailer, I likely wouldn't have had to see the film...

The only other thing I can remember from seeing it... um....yesterday is: it seemed much longer than the 1hr, 49 min. run time. I actually looked at my watch twice.

As we were leaving the cinema, I asked the wife what she thought of 2 Guns.

She said, "it was better than I expected."

I responded with, "better than you expected!? You mean you took me to a movie that you had low expectations for instead of Pacific Rim? Seriously? Unfreakingbelievable!"

She raised an eyebrow.

I haven't quite learned that the secret to a successful marriage is: shut the f**k up.

Tuesday 6 August 2013

2 Guns

The wife wants to see this one so once again I will not see Pacific Rim... Nevermind Pacific Rim, I still haven't seen Man of Steel or The Lone Ranger, and I haven't even reviewed the trailers for World War Z or The Wolverine 2 or The Wolverine Also or Also The Wolverine...

You know, I should just be thankful that she loves me and shut up.  I asked her uncle, who has been married for more than 30 years what the secret of a successful marriage is.  He said, "Mike, the secret to a successful marriage is: shut the f**k up.  That's the secret..."

There were two trailers for 2 Guns.  One was about a minute and a half and the other was over 3 minutes.  I ONLY watched the short one and that is the one I'm reviewing here.

So, here's the deal: undercover DEA agent, Denzel and undercover Navy Intelligence agent, Wahlberg, rob a bank that happened to hold money - $42.15 million to be exact - that belonged to the CIA and now everyone wants them dead, except the CIA who just want their money back.

The story seems really far fetched, even if you're a conspiracy theorist.

The chemistry between the seemingly mismatched stars, Denzel and Wahlberg actually looked pretty good. Wahlberg's characters work when he maintains a sort of naive innocence, like in this trailer.  Denzil always plays it smart and cool and it works for him.

The trailer was filled with smart ass remarks and stunts but for some reason I felt that all the best stunts were saved for the minute-and-a-half trailer.  I can't imagine what more the 3 minute trailer could tell me and show me that wouldn't completely spoil this one.

But seriously, even the short trailer tells it all.  It looks like they are double crossed by their respective organizations and now must team up in order to survive.  The only thing that is left to be answered is whether they get the money to the CIA but, if the sequence is correct in the trailer, it kind of looks like Denzel blows it up.

I'm not sure where this movie will go beyond what the short trailer told me/spoiled for me.  I expressed this to the wife and she said, "we are not seeing Pacific Rim."

If I had a choice I wouldn't see 2 Guns.

Friday 2 August 2013

VIEWED: The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

My trailer review for The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey said...

"So, will the box set be available with six special edition discs? What will make it special is that they will be packaged in the order in which J.R.R. Tolkien wrote them and they will be placed in a commemorative box where the discs will only fit in the proper order because each disc will have special packaging. Rest assured that the commemorative box will be made of a much stronger paper than regular post-it note paper. If you had already purchased the LOTR trilogy, you will be disappointed to know that in order to get the commemorative box, you need to purchase the entire 6 disc box set and even if you managed to get the box, your discs wouldn't fit because of the new special packaging.  But if you act now you'll get a seventh limited edition making of, director's cut, deleted scenes and craft services shenanigans and it will come in an even more special commemorative box with a special place for disc 7.  Please note that you'll have to pre-order now and it will be available in early 2014.

What does this have to do with The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey movie trailer?  Well, nothing."

My teenage nephew and I watched it a few nights ago.  He had seen it before and loved it.  I couldn't seem to get into it.

Martin Freeman seemed to play Bilbo the same way he played Arthur Dent in that terrible film version of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and not unlike the character Tim he played in The Office. Very disappointing for me because I really like Martin Freeman.  In fairness, he did have some strong moments, but they were only moments in a very long film.  Sorry Martin.

Every time the Dwarfs gathered I kept anticipating, "Hi ho, hi ho...."  You know, from Snow White.

Like most, I watched it knowing the Lord of The Rings Trilogy and seeing all the signs that brought our lovable characters to the LOTR quest.  And though I was excited to watch the film, as the story unfolded, it just didn't do anything for me.

You know which characters survive to appear in LOTR.  You know what happens - it's just the journey that makes it entertaining or not on film.  This journey seemed like a film for the purists and fans because they will probably like it regardless of how good it really is.

I've heard someone much wiser than me say that the meaning of life IS the journey.  May be...

While it had all the elements of the epic story, it seemed to me to lack the wonder and awe of the LOTR movies.  And to think there will be two more of these films...

I can't really say that this is "unexpected."